


LapidotDrabbles

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Canon verse, Cold War, Drabbles, F/F, First Dates, Flight Attendants, Fluff, Gen, Highschool AU, Jail, Lapidot Bomb, NSFW, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Spies & Secret Agents, one shots, science AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 39,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one shots filling the prompts for lapidot week:<br/>1. Highschool<br/>2. Sleepover<br/>4. The Beach<br/>5. angst<br/>Now including general lapidot prompts and requests!<br/>6. Blushing<br/>7. Grocery Store AU (now becoming a series)<br/>8. She smol<br/>9. Crush<br/>10. Fall<br/>11. First Date<br/>12. Hospital AU (NSFW)<br/>13. Soulmate AU<br/>14. Christmas/Apartment AU<br/>15. them shorts from log date<br/>16. "It's not what it looks like!"<br/>17. Life on earth<br/>18. Fusion fic<br/>19. Bus AU<br/>20. Hogwarts AU<br/>21. Spy/cold war AU<br/>22. Learning to accept compliments<br/>23. cuddling<br/>24. Flight Stewardess AU<br/>my <a href="http://insomniac-arrest.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It'll be Funny

Drabble One: Jokes, Questions and Group Messages

Prompt: Highschool AU

 

“Come on Lapis, it’s a dare.” One of her friends insists.

“It’s not like anything else is going to happen at this crappy football game.” Another adds as she tosses her soda can at the field where their team was losing badly.

"Get better!" One them yells; so much for the Yellowdiamond Backs getting a winning season.

“He’s out of my league guys.” She tries to assert nervously.

“Ask whoever out then. It’ll be funny.”

“You don’t have to actually go out with them.” Cassie twirls her hair and blows a bubble.

“Though if you did ask him it’s not like you’d ever see him again.” She stares on other to the brunette senior her friends wanted her to ask out on a dare.

“Come on, come on, come on.” They chant.

“Fine guys. But you owe me!”

They whoop at her, and add, “just use your cheesiest pickup lines on him, pass it off as a joke.”

She rolls her eyes and start down the steps to the front of the bleachers.

She can feel her friends eyes trained on her back as she directs her way to the “cute” drum major the girls (and boys apparently) were going crazy for.

Her face heats up as people watch her descend the steps noisily. Her face heats up and her legs feel like lead, she doesn’t want to do this.

She’s standing behind him, breathing heavily, when he turns around.

“Hello.”

She dashes down around him and quickly sits down in the brass section next to a rather tall girl.

She exhales, glancing back at her friends who were still watching and examining her, one of them, Josh, is leading them closer to where she’s seated.

She’d have to go through with this.

“Polarbear.” She barks at the person next to her.

“What.”

“Broke the ice.” It was a terrible pickup line with a terrible execution, she cringes.

“Lapis?” Peridot turns to her in her bright yellow band uniform.

“Oh,” Lapis exhales, she knew her. She searches the other girls face, “uh, hi Peridot, I had some homework questions.” She thinks fasts.

“Why were breaking the ice then?” She asks flatly,

She puts her head in her hands and sighs, embarrassment flooding her veins, she was contradicting herself too much.

“It was just, I was just,” her phone suddenly buzzes and she slips it out to see a new group chat called, ‘Lapis asks out a nerd.’

She sighs again, “My friends dared me to ask someone out.” She relents miserably as she watches the group message fill with lewd comments on her ‘game.’

Peridot eyes her, “I’m still confused here. Are you asking me out or for homework?”

Lapis’s eyebrows skyrocket, “no! I just needed to look like I was asking someone out.”

“Oh wow. Thanks then.” She says dryly as she looks away from Lapis into the distance.

“No, sorry, I wasn’t even going to mess with you in particular, they wanted me to go for,” she jerks her thumb towards the brown haired drum major.

“Oh Dan, right. You know he might say yes. He likes cute girls.” She sounds bored and little annoyed at her.

Lapis puts her head in her hands again and presses down on her eyes until she sees white, “I don’t even like boys.”

Peridot whips her head around and looks directly at her, “Oh.” She looks like she’s thinking,

Lapis looks down at her phone.

**Josh** : Lapis is going to take her to the science museum, I can see it now :P

 **Cassie** : take her v-card after the spelling bee, oh Lapis find my pterodactyl~

 **Mandy** : blow her horn, right guys? Right? Look at this meme:

She rolls her eyes, and immediately hides her phone again as Peridot turns around.

“You know what would be hilarious?” She proposes. Lapis shakes her head ‘no,’ “if we kissed.”

Lapis’s eyes go huge, “what?” She pushes on her lab partners shoulder. “Don’t tease me you jerk.”

“I bet they’ll never make you ask out another boy again.”

Lapis’s phone goes off as they make fun of Peridot some more, who was being surprisingly cool about this for an uptight girl.

“I mean only to mess with them again, of course, I’m not trying anything on you Lazuli. It’s only to get back at those jerk friends you have.”

“Jerk friends.”

“You heard me.”

Lapis’s eyes trail back to her group of friends and then back to Peridot who was watching the field and looking obtuse, if not slightly red in the face.

“Yes, okay, five second rule. They have to be watching.”

“Really?”

“Really. Close your eyes,” She instructs, her first kiss and of course it was going to be a joke, “on the count of three, one, two, three.” She screws her eyes shut and waits. Neither of them seemed to have moved, they just have their faces scrunched up and inches apart as the whistle blew on the field.

“This is ridiculous, Lazuli, I think-mmm,”

Lapis dove in, she wasn’t going to hesitate anymore. She presses her lips to the other girls.

It’s awkward and forced at first, but then Peridot relaxes into it and their mouths slowly mold to another. She tasted like chapstick and dust, but she was soft in all the right places. It is a very long, very well placed closed mouthed kiss.

They pull apart in a slow daze after what felt like seconds and hours all at once.

Lapis can feel her phone go absolutely crazy. She stuffs it deeper into her pocket and tries to ignore it.

Peridot’s mouth is open, her eyes wide, “wow.” She finally says.

Several eyes of the band members focus on the girls, “dang.” Someone from the back says.

“Get it girl.”

Lapis freezes up under the attention, “I’ll see you after the game!” She squeaks.

Her phone buzzes, Peridot looks sick, but in a good way, and Lapis Lazuli runs away.

“Yes, yeah! See you,” her voice fades and Lapis hides behind the bleachers until the game is over. She emerges to trail after the band, hoping to talk to Peridot again.

And maybe ask her a question.


	2. Our Last Night

Prompt: Sleepover

 

“Annndd I had a cracked gem, but it was actually smudged, I told my diamond that I was a gonner, and she told me ‘little yellow-clear gem Topaz,’ you have no sense at allllll~ And I had a chipped gem but it was only reflection and my diamond said to me-”

“Shut up!”

“And I had buffed corner, but it was only a-”

“I’m serious.” Lapis warned from her jail cell across the way.

“We’re in prison, there isn’t much to do.” She says shrilly as she gestures around at the empty hallway and yellow forcefield, “I shouldn’t even be in here.”

“Oh hoho, no way, you can’t say that after I watched that display in the middle of the battle,” She clears her throat and sits upright, “uh, uh, actually maybe this is a bad idea? Earth has nothing to offer. We should, uh leave it alone?” Lapis mimicked Peridot’s change of heart in the middle of the fight.

“At least I wasn’t an ‘honorary crystal clod,’ before they abandoned me.” She retorted cruelly.

Lapis huffs, “just don’t sing you idiot.”

“Lapis Lazuli fled to the bottom of the ocean!” She sang, “it was really dumb and no one told her to do that~”

“Ugh, if we ever get out of this I will justify drowning you.”

“It’s not like we’re going to get out of this though.” She said moodily and scuffed her foot on the floor. “Yellow Diamond is going to turn us into powder in the morning.”

“Well, here’s to our last night together as whole!” She cheered.

“Here’s to that…” She sighs heavily and slides down the wall to a sitting position, “Hey.” She spoke up again, “you seem a lot more,” She made some hand gestures with her fingers.

“What?” She examines Peridot’s face.

“I just remember the last time we put you here you just curled up and stayed quite,”

“And gave up. Yeah, I guess, you just learn a few things about yourself after being locked up with a muscle bound maniac.”

“And how was that?” She asks with some genuine curiosity.

“How do you think?” She snaps, and Peridot looks away at the wall again.

“Just making conversation on our last day.” She folds her arms.

Lapis stretches out in the cell across from her, “it’s over now, that’s what.”

“Maybe we’ll get a chance to redeem ourselves?” She suggests, imagining it in her head, proving herself to Yellow Diamond, erasing that dumb slip up.

Lapis laughs morbidly, “not with all the singing she won’t.”

“I was passing the time.”

“Well, I wouldn’t take it even if she did offer us a way out. I’m not giving into these type of gems again.” She says darkly, a distant look in her eye.

Peridot watches her carefully, a kind of odd feeling welling up in her chest. She doesn’t put a name to it.

“Yeah, sure, viva la revolution.” She remarked sarcastically from a movie she remembers from earth.

“Viva la revolution!” Lapis repeats with enthusiasm, pumping her fist in the air. Peridot actually laughs, Lapis turns to her in surprise they make eye contact .

Peridot turns her head violently away.

“It’ll never work.”

“Yeah, yeah, this is the end.” Lapis leans back in her cell onto the wall.

A silence falls between them, of promises and threats.

Peridot stares at the wall behind her, “I at least wish they had given us windows , then I’d know what quadrant we’re in.”

“How would that help?”

“I would know what songs would be appropriate.”

“Pfft, my last day as whole I spend it with a dork.”

“Better than a meat head.”

“I suppose, it’s true you’re not trying to strangle me with chains.”

Their discourse seems to be getting lighter as the night drags on.

They talk about their favorite parts of homeworld, the glass rains, the sleek ships that filled the cities with a constant hum and the cloudless nights where the sky was all but black with silent white stars littering it.

“So you were born in Geocite City?” Peridot says excitedly, “I was made around two kilometers from there. Purple Diamond Metro.” She describes.

“Oh yeah? How old are you, do you remember when they redid the roads?”  


“Oh yeah, a Tourmaline told me about that, they only bothered to change the color and not fix the intersections, somebodies ship crashed and clogged the whole clodding thing up.”

Lapis smiled, “it was a mess. My caretaker didn’t let me out that day.”

“You were that close to them?”

“Sort of, by the beach with the lanes overhead.” She recreates it with her hands, the beach and the ship roads above her. They lapse into a quite before Lapis sighs heavily, “but that was a long time ago.”

She hung her head, reminding Peridot of the gem they threw into jail the first time. Peridot doesn’t know how to respond.

“Were you part of the war?” She turns her head slightly towards Peridot.

Peridot shakes her head, “I wasn’t made yet.” She confesses.

“You’re pretty young huh?” Lapis observes her, voice heavy and eyes searching.

“Couple hundred.”

“And they sent you to earth by yourself?” Lapis directly looks at her in the eye.  


“They didn’t say it’d be hard.” She defends, “besides I was a new type of gem,” she gestures to her arms, “trained and fitted in the newest tech, and I would have gotten my job done too, awarded even, if some Steven’s hadn’t got in the way.” She breathes furiously through her teeth, thinking about the life she could have had and feeling red rage raise anew.

“Stop.” Lapis asserts, “you don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know anything about Homeworld.”

“Like you know so much, you’ve been on earth all this time.”

“I know they haven’t changed.”

“You were part of the war weren’t you?” She finally asks, pressing her face closer to the yellow barrier.

“Only the beginning.” She says thoughtfully, “I was high in the ranks, but mostly recon, sort of like you.” They exchange a glance. “Though I could fly in a much more manageable way.” She gives her a wry smile.

Peridot sticks her tongue out, “my flying is extremely efficient.” She retorts.

“You look like a, what’s the word, a huge geek?” She teases her,

“Err,” Peridot growls and contorts her face, Lapis laughs wholeheartedly, her body shaking.

“Your face!” She laughs.

“Oh yeah, laugh it up. I evaded capture for months with my way of getting around, unlike some of us.”

Lapis face grows darker but still sardonic, “watch it silly face, I am your elder.”

“So what? What happened in the war.”

Lapis shrugs, “we started to lose, big surprise for everyone, the Diamond in charge was furious,”

“Was Jasper there?”

“No. Not yet. I was at the beginning, she would come later as backup .”

“And you?”

Lapis wouldn’t meet he gaze. “I had an incident.” She said vaguely, “I misreported the movements of Rose’s troops, forgot an important detail, so they…” She hesitates.

Peridot leaned in, waiting for the next development. It was a very long pause, Peridot holds her breath, trying not to push her.

“So?” She’s not very patient.

“They turned me into a mirror that would never forget. So I could reflect on my actions.” She grows quite, “Right in front of Roses troops too, a show of strength on what they’d do her forces if they kept rebelling.”

“The crystal clods then just, what, collected you?”

Lapis balled her fist up and pointedly looked at the ceiling, blue in the face and scowling.

“Yes. And they knew I was in there.” She was furious. Peridot, sort of liked it. It was like a geyser, the eruption of a pristine lake. “But,” She chokes back, “Steven let me out.”  
Her face softens, Peridot doesn’t know what to make of it.

“Hey,” she finally speaks up as the night wears on, “we helped him escape you know, we really did.” Her voice sounded stilted even to her, comfort isn’t her strong point. But they were probably about to die, so she might as well try.

“We?” She quirks an eyebrow up at her.

“Okay,  _you_ , but I-”

“Kidding. You let them fly right over you, you could have stopped them, but you didn’t.” Lapis tilts her head at her.

Peridot could feel hemoglobin pool in her cheeks, “you saw that?”

“It was cool. I’m glad you came around.”

“Earth was…really terrible. But honestly, we don’t have to harass  _all_  the monkey creatures. Some had potential.”

“I heard you spent time with Steven’s friend.” She smirks at her through the cage.

“Connie.” She clears her throat quickly, “And yes, earth could be ignored was all I was trying to point out during the fight.”

“Right.”

“What?”

“Your cute.”

Peridot practically choked on her own spit and starts coughing dryly.

“Oh come on younging, no need to die on me. Wait till morning.”

“You’re terrible!” 

Lapis chuckles and stares at her unabashedly through the barrier, “have you heard the one about the gem who morphs into her teacher and has to pretend be her for the rest of the day?”

“What?”  
“Come on, it’s a classic!”

“Uh, how’s it go.”

“Okay, repeat after me,” she starts to sing, “Emerald had the worst grade you possibly could,”

“Emerald had the worst grade, man that sucks, you possible could.” She joins in to Lapis’s thin twinkling voice that filled the air with sharp notes.

“She lured her teacher to a back room and accidentally sent her into retreat…”

They sing into the night, trying to find some warmth in each other before Yellow Diamond came for them. One tune after another.

“We go tumbling down, all our might, all our might, all our pieces, fall apart, and my loves do weep, and shards do scaaaatter.”

They sing a song Peridot knew about battle and gems breaking, it was morose and very pro-homeworld but Peridot was ready for something morbid.

They finish the song and softly stare at one another, both of them as close to their entrance ways as possible.

“Do you want to hear one from Steven?” Lapis asks as Peridot feels her inner clock tick down to the final minutes.

“Maybe.” She grumbles, she didn’t forgive that easily.

“It’s really cute!”

“Cute. Gross.”

“I sang your one about the executioners march,”

“And you didn’t find it cute?”

“And the shards scatter. Really?”

“Just start already.” She prompts her.

Lapis opens her mouth “we,” she begins, “are the crystal-” She’s interrupted by a thin strong voice from the other side of the hallway.

“We,” it calls out and then other voices join in, “are the crystal gems. And we’ll always save-”

“Ah!” Peridot doesn’t hear the rest of it as she jumps backward in fright, the crystal gems bursts through the side of the hallway wall.

“Lapis!” A young boys voice calls.

“Oh thank God, we weren’t sure what she’d do to you!” That was Pearl.

Peridot examines them, it was Pearl and Garnet, she shuffles to the very back of her cell, a frown tugging at the side of her mouth. She wraps her arms around her legs.

“You came!” Lapis exclaims and throws her arms up, Steven jumps in front of the barrier and starts to vibrate, Lapis climbs out from under him. To freedom.

A very large part of her wants to yell at them, demand they let her out, that they owe her, but she abstains.

Lapis hugs Steven and twirls him around.

However, when she puts him down he runs over to her cell. Her eyes go wide.

“Come on Peridot,” he says, “we need to get you out of here.”

“But…” Her brain goes on the fritz, trying to wrap itself around the turn of events instead of accepting her own end.

He makes a hole in the barrier for her. She starts to crawl in a hurry over to it. This was her chance.

“I called you all clods!” Is the first thing she says.

Steven smiles at her, “you want to save earth.” He declares.

“No, what, it’s just that earth was not worth the effort.” She says in disgust.

“Come on songbird.” Lapis grabs her elbow and murmurs into her ear, Peridot blushes. Alarms chime abruptly throughout the ship, announcing their escape.

“Run. Now.” Garnet pronounces as they struggle out a hole in the wall towards another ship.

“You knew this would happen.” Peridot grumbles at Lapis tersely as they run.

She squeezes her arm and winks at her, “thanks for spending your ‘last day’ with me.”

“What’d you guys do?” Steven asks as they make into the next ship and Pearl takes the controls.

“We had a sleepover.”

Peridot holds the bridge of her nose and can barely believe what she was getting into, much less what to think of the blue girl dragging her there. 


	3. How to Find a Wife and Other Scientific Blunders

Prompt: The Beach

Lapis: You Are (Pissed).

You are endless. Movement, jealousy, alive, carrying a thousands words clenched behind your teeth and forgotten memories withering in your grasp.

Everything turns to powder in your hands.

The world is dark and quiet, you flow with the South Pacific current, and time trickles by like a slow leak that slowly fills a basin. You are somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, as you have been for a very long time.

The sun is high in the east and the surfaces calm and undisturbed when the first warning signs blare in your head like bellowing of a cargo ship horn.

You flinch, ripples oscillate around you as mini whirlpools, an uncomfortable sensation settles in your gut. Your eyes begin to flutter open, the discomfort intensifies, like a rock stuck in your throat you can’t swallow.

Someone has entered your domain.

“Ack!” A voice, a human voice, resonates; your awareness is forcefully tugged into that direction.

You are filling the water of your cave, blinking open your eyes fully for the first time in what felt like centuries.

A human girl. A short haired clown-fish with some sort of artificial leg and a bad look on her face. She appeared to have fallen on one of your jagged rocks, meant to keep land creatures out, duh, and was now examining something she held in her hand.

You narrow your eyes, she rubs her back and then blinks rapidly at your pool of water. She points her mechanism at you and it sends off a series of beeps, she tilts her head.

You sink deeper into the water, dipping your head lower, though you doubt she can see you.

“What?” She appears confused, and starts walking closer as the thing in her hands sings.

She must be truly stupid, or at least senseless, since she didn’t notice the miasma of warning you set around this place.

She follows her machine to the edge of the pool. You clench your fist and then jerk your chin upward, a wave raises and throws the girl off her feet.

She’s swept backward, splutters, curses and looks at her clothes in disgust. Good. She then gets back up to her feet, examining her devices and making her way back out of your cave.

Your eyes follow her and you glare as she retreats.

You kick your way up to the rocks. It had been years, decades, but you remember how, you shed your skin. It was like peeling back a hundred layers of sediment in a storm, you squirm your way onto land.

You take your first dusty wheezing gasp of air. It hurt, sharp and blue like a gulp of ice water or stab in the chest.

You lay on the floor of your domain, holding your sides with new hands, new legs shaking, head light and ears popping. You flap your liquid wings and work your new found ‘muscles.’

You’re cold, you're hot, you’re pissed off. When you can manage any part of yourself again you stagger after the yellow and green clownfish. Trespassing wrought payback.

———

Peridot: You Don’t do Bigfoot

“Peridot!” One of the ‘gems’ of a personality you’re working for calls to you. You wring out your shoes one last time and follow her voice.

She was examining some leaves on a flat full bush when you approach. “There you are,” She says in your direction.

“Some of your tech got…came with…there’s water in some of the gadgets.” You articulate flatly as you make your way over a sand dune.

“Then dry it out.” Peridot jumps as a deep British voice addresses her from behind.

“I mean, of course, that’s what you pay me for.” You scoff and try to back away from the taller women who towered over you. Garnet definitely made you nervous.

“Wait, what happened?” Pearl jogged up to them, abandoning her leaf inspection.

“Here look,” you shove the electromagnetic detection device in her face, “it started going crazy and then a wave hit me.”

“You let a wave hit you?” Another woman, Amethyst, adds dryly.

“These readings though…” Pearl wrenches it from your hands and her eyes flicker over the last data it recorded.

You sniff, letting them hover over your work as you slouch off in the other direction. You’d let them tinker with whatever it was they were looking for.

“Ahhhaahhh.” You freeze where you stand, turning around to find a very pale, very stressed looking man running right towards you.

You glance around and saunter to the left to see if somethings chasing him, or at least try to evade his direct stampede.

“You!” He shouts shrilly.

“I’m only the technician.” You put your hands up defensively, “you, and who are you?”

“The documentarian.” He asserts, holding up a B-rated camera in his hands. “For when we find the aliens…Or ghosts.”

“Whatever. Any issues you have, just talk to those guys.” You point back to your employers, scientists who were paying you to work their tech. Half a PHD in computing and you still were getting crap gigs.

“Ah!” He screams again, you jump,

“What’s your problem?”

“Wait, Peridot.” Pearl reproaches you, the other women in her wake. “Where were you when you got this electromagnetic field readings?”

You shift around uncomfortably from one leg to another, “the caves.”

Pearl gives her a stern look, Garnet frowns and Ronaldo, the name printed on his shirt, screams again.

“Stop screaming!” You order.

“You’re not supposed to go down there!” He asserts fitfully.

“Yeah, dude, that place should at least give you the creeps.” Amethyst shivers as her eyes dart in the direction of the cave lagoons.

“Peridot, we were specifically told by the guide to not disturb the caves, they’re a pristine natural landmark.”

“You all hired me to use technology to track electromagnetic waves, that’s what I did, they were all leading down to over there, but don’t worry, I got very wet, and very much won’t go back.”

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT’S DOWN THERE?”

You narrow your eyes and grit your teeth at Ronadlo, “I said I won’t go back.”

“Ronaldo.” Garnet says in a warning tone.

“SELKIES!!” He shrieks as he gets down on his knees and shakes his hands.

Alright, that’s enough for you, “I’m going to go…shower.”

You walk away before he launches any spiels about bigfoot on you.

You wonder back to the state of the art lab located on the island Azul Rocha, grumpy, waterlogged and wondering how long exactly two more weeks was going to be.

The first thing you notice when you step in the shower is the water tastes like salt. You smell brine in the air and have the disconcerting feeling you’re being watched. You try to ignore it.

————-

Lapis: The Behavioral Habits of Clownfish

You found out right away that she couldn’t see you. At least when you don't want to be seen.

This is how you ended being able to watch her pour herself a glass of water in the middle of her kitchen while you stand right in front of her.

She put the glass to her mouth, you wink at the water, she takes a deep sip of it. Her eyes fly open, “Salt!” She chokes violently, splutters and pours the water on the ground. You laugh, her silly face contorts and you laugh even harder. “Who’s there?” She barks.

Oops, you back up, she may or may not have been growing to hear you.

You make the lights the flicker. Her eyes go wide.

She grab a coat and runs out of the room. You follow.

You had spent the last two and half days slowly building up your revenge on the poor girl. You had come to the conclusion: she was a fool. But a clever fool.

Worth the effort that’s for sure.

You put small crabs in her bed, water in her ears and made everything she ate taste like whale blubber.

Each and every reaction from what you had found, was priceless.

She strolled to the doorway and yanks out her shoes from the closet. You blink at the foot wear and fill them with sand.

She shoves her foot into one of them and her hair stands on end, “oh my, _shit_.” She says eloquently.

This was fun.

She kicks her shoes aside, showering sand across the carpet and runs outside, pulling her hoodie up over her face.

“I’m okay,” she repeats to herself, “I’m fine, totally great.” She puts her hands in her pockets and speed walks to one of her neighbors doors. She knocks five times in rapid succession.

A tall dark women answers the door in her sleepwear, the Beta fish.

“Ms. Farid.” She says in a controlled tone, “it’s 6’Oclock in the morning.”

“I think I need to get back to Berkeley.” Your clownfish replies in one quick breath.

“The plane will come in one week. I think you can wait.”

“No, you don’t see, I think I’m loosing it…under the stress.” Her eye twitched, you snap your finger, the sound of gull blitzes through the air, she predictably jumps, “ugh! Did you hear that?”

“Right…” The Beta says slowly, “if you’re worried about the money, we’re already writing any of the water damage off as charged to the school.” She seems to be trying to reassure her.

“There aren’t any gulls here. Or wildlife. But me, I’m here, I really shouldn’t be here.” She laughs haphazardly, “Just need to get home.”

You smirk. You could follow her there.

“Why don’t you come in,” She sounds concerned and steps aside for your clownfish.

“You’re being been haunted aren't you?” Even you are a little startled when a sharp voice carries down the hallway. He’s especially loud, alerting the small pale angelfish to the events, the angelfish pokes her head out.

“Ronaldo, I thought I told you we won’t be needing any documentation of our work.” The angelfish asserts firmly as she opens her door.

“Oh no, I’m making a new film now.” He says lowly as he cradles some sort of recording machine in his hands. “I call it Supernatural Haunting by Water Witch Bringing on the End of the World, ner, ner, ner.” He plays a non-existent musical instrument in midair.

End of the world? Even you perk an eyebrow up at that.

“Ronaldo. Peridot and I were having an important conversation,”

“Water witch?” She repeats.

“Water witch, ner, ner, ner.” He plays the instrument again. You scowl, you don’t like where this is going.

“Peridot, don’t listen to him.” The angelfish asserts.

“So, wait, what’s up, the techie is losing it?” The purple Lionfish sticks her head out too.

“Not, no, not losing it,” you smirk and trickle water down her spine. She goes completely stiff and wild eyed, “alright, about this witch.” She marches right up to the man and you regret your timing.

“Peridot, don’t listen to him.” You silently nod your head in agreement.

He chuckles lowly, “if you’ll just, step into my ocean spirit-proof office.” He opens up one of the side doors.

“That’s a closet.” The lionfish states.

Your girl ignores her intelligent friends and follows the silly man into the closet.

You roll your eyes and go to follow. You try to walk up to the door, it’s solid, you push against it, you scowl and try to dematerialize and fly through the wall.

You can’t. You go at it from another direction, turn into water, or hell try to just listen in on the door.

None of works.

You’re eyes go wide. He wasn’t as off as you assumed.

You tap your foot and wait angrily in the hall for your clownfish.

———

Peridot: You Have Had It

You nod along to what Ronaldo is saying, it made absolutely no sense, but it was this or accept you had absolutely lost your mind.

You spend an hour in that damn closet before you emerge, shifty eyed and waiting for the next assault from ‘the ocean.’

“I know you’re there.” You whisper. There is no response, but you can still feel the constant pair of eyes fall on you attentively. You hunch your shoulders.

You go back to room amongst questions from the other woman of what’s going on.

Something crazy, that’s what.

You retreat back to you room in search of a sturdy bag. You walk in the door and immediately feel the sensation of jelly between your toes. Moon jellyfish.

You shiver and look around rapidly, you swear you hear the tinkling laugh again.

“Erg!” You go through every bag you own for the strongest one.

You spend the rest of the day trying to ignore the weird little things of the ocean cropping up in your everyday life.

At 30 minutes to midnight you make your way to the beach closest to the caves, your phone rings, “hello?”

“Triangle, triangle, tango, meet me at alpha square one.”

“I’m almost there kid, don’t get your paranoia in a twist.”

You trot down the beach and into a small circle with a bonfire in the center.

Ronaldo is in some sort of monk suit with a cape and stoking the flames. You can’t believe this is your life. As in real life.

“The cursed is arrived!” He moans in a spooky voice, you roll your eyes.

“I’m only trying this out once.” You bristle through your teeth.

“Awe, but what if it doesn’t work the first time?” He simpers.

“Just get on with it. One try.”

“Alright, alright, get behind the rocks.”

“And no theatrics!”

“Whatever do you mean?” He swoops his cape around and grins. You look off into space and wish for a plane to just drop in and hit you.

He hands you a book, one you read most of earlier in the day, and then you crouch behind the rocks as he sets up some sort of the ritual.

You're fidgeting incessantly by the time he has some sort of weird voodoo circle set up, shrunken heads and everything, you have no idea how to tell him how messed up this is.

“Ooooh, spirits of the other world,” he begins slowly, “show your self and stuff!”

You groan.

“Shh,” he hushes you, “I call upon the otherworldly ghost-spirit-alien that’s behest this young lady.”

“That’s me.” You contribute sarcastically,

“We offer you this,” he throws one of the heads into the fire, “a witch’s head! And this,” he throws in a ukulele, “the devil’s instrument!” Nothing happens.

You consider sneaking off.

He throws in an amalgamation of different objects, each time calling the creature to rear their ugly head.

“And this, a, uh, stick I found on the ground!” He throws a piece of driftwood in. “Show yourself!”

“Oh alright, let’s give it up, this isn’t going to work,” you call to him to stop this whole fiasco, maybe with a tenth of dignity in tact.

“She’s here though,” he whines,

“Maybe,” you glance around, “but she’s too much of a wimp to make herself known.” You smirk, feeling as if you know your antagonist.

“Alright, but, just one more thing.”

“It’s not going to work.” You cross your arms. He takes out a small box,

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to use this, but here’s some sea salt based off of the Lord of the Ring Movies.”

“What?”

“Take this sacrifice!” He chucks his possession into the bonfire. You try not to become somehow even more dumbfounded.  
They pause, you sigh and turn your back to this ridiculous display.

“No one is coming, I’ll just accept I’ve got ocean-based dementia and-”

“You called?” You inhale sharply, a light voice interrupts you, one of rivers that rush to the open sea and the moment the waves break upon a beach.

Your eyes go wide.

You turn slowly, very slowly.

“Y-you,” you stutter, she is blue, and small and in the form of a really cute girl. Short curls lick her cheeks and eyes like the moon stare you down.

She surprisingly wears a flouncy sundress and hovers off the ground on expansive wings made of liquid.

“You called.” She repeats.

“Arg!” You pick up the nearest rock and chuck it at her, “do you know how annoying my last few days have been??”

She dodges the rock easily, “you trespassed upon my heartland.” She replies lightly. “You your wrought my wrath.”

“And who are you?”

“Shush,” Ronaldo inserts himself, “let me talk to her! You’ll only get cursed more, like double cursed.”

“Right.” You lean back on a rock, “what should we at least call you?” You direct to the water spirit.

“Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.”

“Like the rock?”

“Like the God.” You shiver with the sensation of cold water sprinkling down your spine. Lapis Lazuli.

———–

None of their chants or offerings did anything for you. You just sort of wanted to mess with them, but this time in person.

It helped that she’d called you a wimp.

“Water witch!” The male idiot calls you, “what do you wish of us?”

You focus your eyes on him, “repentance.” You try to make yourself as big and scary as possible. Mortals needed to know.

“Why?” He asks astutely.

“No one is allowed to come to my domain. And live.”

“Fair enough.” He says thoughtfully as he looks at you, “but why would a minor water spirit angel like yourself live all the way out here? And if you could just direct your answer to the lens right there.” He points to a camera behind a rock.

“I’m not a minor water angel!” You bark angrily.

“Into the camera now.” He points at it again.

With a flick of your wrist you send a gush of water to crash over the recording device.

“Uh!” He cries, “my dad bought me this.”

“I am Lapis Lazuli,” You repeat, “the life blood of this miserable planet.” You raise yourself further off the ground, unfurling the extent of your wings, “I am ceaseless, the center, the breaker, the builder, I am Lapis Lazuli, and you should know when to bow-”

“I found it!” Your neck snaps into the direction of your clownfish. “Haha!” She laughs like a mad woman, you feel a sudden burden weigh you down.

A strain on your back, a tingling sensation crawls over every inch of your skin, your head feels heavy, you float to the ground and feel yourself become more and more tangible.

“OH, NO WAY, it worked? I didn’t know she’d actually have one of those!”

“What do you mean, you sent me on the stupid clodding mission,”

You look up through your leaking eyes, you gasp.

“My skin.” She holds your slick grey seal skin in her hands.

“That’s right buddy, who’s got the power now?” She taunts before your head becomes as heavy as a stone and drags you to the earth.

The world comes spinning in around you, the color sucked out of the scenery, and your powers diminished. Human.

————

They drag the still, lifeless, Lapis Lazuli, back to the lab. You see a very excited, babbling, Ronaldo off and then wait the night. Waiting. Watching, keeping tabs on her every movement in a little notebook.

You had a Goddess on your hands.

It’s two in the afternoon when she groans and you dash from your online game to her side.

“You tied me up.” Is the first thing she says.

“I said you were the breaker, lifeblood and blah, blah. Powerful.”

Her eyes are wide, “I’m human.” She whispers in stark realization.

“Really?” You jot that down in your notebook.

“Where is my skin?” She gives you a look like acid mixed with death threats.

“I’ve hidden it.” You assert smugly, “just as the book says to.” You point to the fairytale book you’ve been referencing.

She clenches her jaw, “Give it back.”

You shake your head, “no deal. You’re MY servant now. And you’re going to have to-”

“Wife.”

“Make up for all the weird salt water, and as our servant-

“Wife.”

“Help with our study.” You finish briskly, “wait, what?”

“Didn’t you finish the book?” She snaps.

“I mean, I skimmed the important parts, woman come onto to land to play and then put their skin back on to go to sea, blah, blah, capture their seal skin.”

“And they’ll marry and bear you lots of children.”

“Bear you lots of…” You can feel the blood drain from your face.

“Now, at least untie me. Wifey.” She smirks at you. Smartass.

“A surly sea Goddess.” You deadpan.

“And don’t think of cheating on me. Then the deals broken. Actually,  _please_  cheat on me.”

“And then what? Or if I give you the skin back?” Maybe washing your hands of the whole ordeal was for the best. You were more of a sci-fi girl than a magic one.

She shrugs, “why don’t you find out?”

“You’ll drown me, won’t you?”

“Maybe.” She looks way slyly, “Probably. ” You groan. “I am the ocean.”

You both stare at each other, breathing, quite, “Could I have something to drink?” She asks.

You hesitate, trying to read her face, she swallows dryly, you decide she is genuinely thirsty.

You get up from the couch, “hey mom,” you mutter to yourself, “you know how you wanted me to get married by the time I’m 33? Well, guess what, she’s an older women, large, curvy, you’ve probably heard of her, _it’s the ocean_.”

You hear a stifled laugh from the other room, you smile in her direction in surprise.

You bring back a glass of cold water, untie her, and watch as she throws back the entire glass.

When she’s done, she meets your eyes and you regard each other heavily. It was weird, like holding your breath or waiting for the train to come in to the station as it rains.

“Now what?” She asks.

You shrug, “get to know each other... What’s the bottom of the ocean like?”

She gives you the ghost of a smile, “Clownfish, I hope you have some better clothes than these for me.” She looks down at her loose shirt and jeans,

“Clownfish?”

“Or at least better maternity wear.”

You definitely go red in the face, “we’re not getting pregnant !” You assert shrilly.

She chuckles, you realize she’s messing with, still.

“Even without powers…” you mutter to yourself.

“Now,” she chirps, “what’s this about your home?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey this one was turned into a series: 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7061929/chapters/16053586


	4. Let's go Home

Prompt: angst, warning for minor sexual harassment

 

Lapis woke up in a cornfield. She flinched and cradled her head, her physical form ached, ached and was on top of a good portion of uncomfortable corn.

She cringed and tried to remember how she got there.

She sat up. Oh yeah. She had been fused to Jasper, and they had been walking around the edge of the Atlantic when Jasper had made a sneak attack.

She felt her neck, yes, a chain burn. She had tried to force her to unfuse, to lose her strength, she attacked her gem.

Lapis frantically reached towards her back, feeling up her teardrop shaped blue Lapis. She couldn’t, she couldn’t get damaged, _not again_.

She exhaled, it was all okay. Jasper must of have just finally forced their dissolution, risen them out of the sea and burst apart, sending each of them flying in separate directions.

Her face hardened. She had to find her.

She contemplated flying, but decided against it, that make her an easy target for someone, such certain Crystal Gems, to find her. And she didn’t want that.

She got up and started to stalk through the corn, to find Jasper, get fused, save everyone, prove that she was capable of being more than a prisoner.

She frowned and kept walking. And walking.  
  


“I guess this who I am now,” she groused as she entered into the fourth hour of her corn hell, “a corn person.”

She grumbled and is stepped over what felt like her thousandth stalk.

“Aha!” Lapis jumped and quickly glanced around in all directions, a rustling to her left told her to duck down. “I found you first!” Sang a slightly familiar voice.

“Peridot?” Lapis slowly stood back up.

“I knew if I calibrated the angle of your fall I’d get here before the Crystal Clods.” She boasted, far too full of herself.

Lapis turned around and started walking in the opposite direction of her.

“Hey!” She called, “where are you going?”

“Away.” She replied shortly.

“Wait, wait, wait,” she hustled after her, “I have a proposition for you.”

“I’m not particularly interesting in the ventures of annoying tech heads who threw me in jail.”

“Annoying?” The green gem sputtered and stopped in her tracks. Lapis smiled to herself. “Hear me out.” She recovered quickly.

“Unless you know where Jasper is-”

“I do!”

Lapis stopped and turned around. She had her attention.

“I don’t know why you’d want to find her, but I measured her descent as well. It’s close.”

“Okay. Where?”

“Uh-uh.” She crosses her arms stubbornly. Lapis groans,

“Fine, what’s your proposition?”

Peridot stepped up closer to her giddy, close enough to take up part of her personal bubble, Lapis leaned back.

“Fly us out of here. To Homeworld.” She appealed earnestly, lowly.

“No way,” Lapis spun around. “I’m here to stay. Besides, Jasper will run wild then.” She started walking briskly again, Peridot hiked after her like a persistent stray dog.

“Who cares,” she whined. “this planet is going under, big time, and we should save ourselves while we can.”

“That’s not how things work.” She growled, “I have responsibilities. Debts.” And things to prove.

“I know you don’t like it here any more than I do.” Lapis darts her eyes sideways and doesn’t reply. “Do something for yourself Lazuli.”

“I don’t think I can fly that far anyway.” She commented quietly.

“Aha!” Peridot punches the air, “so you are up for it. Okay, here’s the brilliant part, brilliant on my part that is,” Lapis looks up at the heavens and wondered why she deserved this, “I can coordinate the fastest path home, and when you get tired we can fuse and you can borrow some of my gem energy.”

She grinned at Lapis like it was Victory Day and the parade was in her honor.

“No way.” Lapis sped up, “no fusion.”

“What, unless it’s with someone you hate?”

“That isn’t the issue.” She said flatly.

“C’mon.” Peridot grabbed her shoulder and tugged lightly, “we can be friends even. An actual fusion instead of that clodding monstrosity.”

Lapis shrugged her off, “I know what I’m doing.” She replied icily.

“Fuse with me. Let’s go home.” She said in genuine reverence.

“Give it a break tech-head.”

“How did you end up on earth?” She was trying to make friendly conversation, very uncomfortably.

“None of your business.” When would the corn end? She should just become the corn at this point.

Peridot talked at her. She half-listened, _decades_ pass. Lapis finally engages with her as nighttime falls.

“Colony Terranova.” She replied, “that’s where I was made.”

“Excellent.” Peridot lights up at getting a response. It was kind of endearing.

They trade stilted, if not more interesting than corn, conversation.

Peridot was a medium level scout with several enhancements she was very proud of. She liked some of the earth food, and had a thing for reading sci-fi novels up until she had actually been on alien worlds.

“I mean, who would have thought most aliens would be sooo dumb? Barely any of them have space travel, and none of them have time travel like most of us were hoping.” She goes into brightly.

“I don’t know, many of them seem charming. Sweet.”

“Sweet is for half-baked almost cracked gems.” She scoffed.

“You weren’t around when, oh,” She paused, “- a road.” Lapis interrupted her thoughts and jogged through the undergrowth, she could see it now, black asphalt.

They come out into a long winding dark road.

“No more corn!” She cheered and jumped up and down. Even Peridot smiled as they emerged into some sort of reprise from plant life.

She then realized they have to walk on the road now. Without civilization in site.

“Oh.” She groans. “We have to walk some more.”

“It’s fine. Do you like travel?”

“Ugh.” She was still at it. Working on a workable fusion. “Where is Jasper again?”

Peridot shrugged, “I’ll have to get back to my base to calculate it again.”

“You’re useless.”

“We can both fly.” She groused. “That would be faster.”

“Yeah. If we want to see the Crystal Gems that is.”

“At least we have that in common.”  
  
They walk down the road. They chat.

Peridot’s favorite color is in fact yellow, she doesn’t know what her weapon is, and she hates the moon for some reason.

“I just sort of want to blow it up you know? It taunts me.” She looks up and scowls at the yellow orb in the sky.

“You really don’t know what your weapon is?” Lapis asked again curiously.

“Oh? That again.” She looked off into the distance, “I never needed it. Especially with my own tech involved.”

“You’re part of the military though. We’re all part of the military.” She said with disdain.

“Things change. Especially after the low-level Gem rebellion. You’ve been on earth for awhile now.”

“What rebellion?”

“Oh, you know, Pearl’s, Topaz’s...Peridot’s. They got tired of under everyone’s foot. Threw a ‘revolution,’ clodding mess is what turned into.”

“Were you there?”

“Nah.” She doesn’t meet her, “I’m not interested in that sort of thing.”

“What are you interested in?”

“Getting home Lazuli.” She replied flatly, “are you fusion mat- friends yet?”

“I don’t think so buddy.” They walked for a half a mile before they see anyone else on the road.  
  


“Hey, you two!” They freeze in their tracks. A human. “Can I borrow a cellphone?”

“We should ignore him.” Peridot whispered. “Humans are always trouble. And I’m talking from experience.”

“We could get a ride somewhere.” Lapis reflected, “it’s so much faster.” She turned around and plastered on a smile, “we’d love to help you sir!”

A man besides what looks like a broken vehicle waved at them. They wave back, and Peridot reluctantly follows her to the human.

“Thanks.” He says with a wide grin, he seems to be in his thirties and in distress, “I’m having some engine troubles, and what do you know my cell phone battery dies.”  
  
Peridot and Lapis exchanged a glance. “Well, we don’t have communication devices.” Lapis said slowly.

“I can fix this though.” Peridot inputs astutely, putting her fingers to her chin, “ten minutes, tops.”  
  
“Really?” His eyes go wide, “you don’t need to, you really don’t.” Lapis can sense his human pride was bruised. She ignored that.

“It’s no trouble.” She said, “we could just use a ride to town.”

“I can do that.” He expresses with good nature. 

Peridot popped open the hood of the car, “child's play.”

Lapis and the man wait by the side of the car patiently.

“I’m Joey by the way,” he puts out his hand to shake. She takes it and grabs firmly, he flinches.

“Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.”

“Like the gem? Cool.” He nodded his head while eyeing her up and down, she scoots away from him. “So what are you two doing out here? Going to a costume party?”

“Yes. That.” Lapis just agreed quickly.

“All the way out here?”

“We got lost.” She tried to smile.

“Not from around here I take it.”

“Pretty much.”

He chuckles at here, “I can always tell. A couple of nice looking girls is a rare sight.”

“Right.”

“Almost done!” Peridot called.

“Oh, very nice.” Lapis sneaked away and leaned over to look at her work.   
  
She suddenly feels a hand on her butt as she bent down.

“Hey!” She barked and jumped backwards. “What’s your problem?!”

“You’re cute.” He said. “Maybe we could _help_ each other out. Before I drive you to town.” He winked at her.

She growled lowly in the back of her throat. She was going to drown him.

“Lapis. Hop in!” Peridot had inserted herself into the driver's seat of the car. Lapis ran around ‘Joey,’ he grabbed her arm as she goes.

“You need to cool off!” She asserted and sent a wave to wash the man away.

He falls down under her jet stream in abject surprise.

Lapis swiftly situated herself in the passenger seat of the car.

“We’re stealing a car.” She announces, “gun it!”

Peridot pushed the pedal and they screech down the road haphazardly.

Peridot and Lapis look at each other briefly, breathlessly.

They break into a mutual smile, and then start laughing.

“You need to cool off?” Peridot snickered at her. “Lame.”

“This has been ridiculous.” She tried to control her laughter, but just ends up throwing herself deeper into giggling fits.

Tears form at the side of her eyes and she holds her sides. Somehow, this was a hilarious to her.

“What a creep.” Peridot pronounced when Lapis calmed down.

“Really.” She confirmed. “Have you always been a delinquent though?”

“Well…”She puffs out her chest, “only if I have to.”

They talk animatedly for the rest of the trip to town, mostly about their daring commandeering of the vehicle.

Lapis was smiling, it kind of hurt.

“So you live by here?”

“Around the hill, yes. It’s my base of operation. You better not give me away.” She wagged her finger at her.

“Oh no, I’ll swear myself to secrecy.” She puts her hands up sardonically in salute.

“You better. I put a lot of time into it.”

The roll up to what looked like an old gem communication hub, a very small one.

Lapis inspected the outside, it looked like it had once been gem-powered but was now off line. It was circular with a grey finish. Lapis touched the outside.

“Don’t touch my stuff!” Peridot barked. Lapis rolled her eyes.

“Now. Look at my map.” She demanded as she went through a pile of collected junk on the outside.

Lapis furrowed her eyebrows and doesn’t know how to tell her she wasn’t going.

“Really, Peridot. I couldn’t fly myself home the first time, much less two people.”

“But, fusion. Friendship. Whateve-”

She was interrupted, a large explosion sounded off in the west, just as the sun was rising.

Lapis perked up, a wordless roar surged from just a little ways off. She recognized that voice.

She unfurled her wings from her gem.

“I have to go.” She announced solemnly.

“Wait! Lazuli. Lapis!” She started up her helicopter fingers, which Lapis would laugh at under different circumstances.

She makes her way only a little off until she spots the Crystal Gems in a fierce battle with none other than Jasper.

She goes to dive bomb her.

“Hey Jasper!” She called. The meathead looked up, her eyes wide and shining amber, almost a look of fear. Lapis grinned. “I hope you enjoyed the fact I let you go.”

“What?” She glared.

“Lapis!” Steven calls, running towards her, “we have this handled.” She refuses to look at him.

“You don’t think you could really beat me in a contest of willpower?” She bated her.

“Lies! I overpowered you.”

“Yeah right. As if. You could never do it again, not that you did it the first time.” That’s it. She got her.

Jasper growled and lumbered towards where Lapis was hovering in the air.

“You don’t have to do this!” Steven is still running towards her.

She was so close, but then she is tumbling towards the ground again, a hand on her leg, dragging to another patch of corn just outside the battlefield.

Peridot had weighed her down to the ground.

“Your such an idiot!” She snarled at her once they’ve fallen all the way to the soft dirt.

“Don’t get in my way.” Lapis tried to wiggle her way out of Peridot’s firm grip on her shoulder.

“Let Jasper go.” It almost sounded like a plea. “We could go home.”

“This is my home! I _am_ malachite.”

“Screw Malachite! Look I think you’re,” she blushed green, “alright. I think you're alright....And I think we could be..” She looked like she was struggling.

“Peridot.” Lapis’s heart did flip flops in her chest, she doesn’t understand it, “it’s only been a day.”

“It was a better day than I’ve had an earth for awhile.” She relented, looking morbidly down at her feet.

“I have to do this.” Lapis said resolutely, though her throat was constricting. “You’re sweet Peridot. But I have responsibilities. I can't just leave with you now.”

“Sweet is for half-baked…” She trailed off as Lapis kisses her on the cheek. She runs off into the open space, into Jasper’s waiting hand. Into the abyss and the cold rush of chains and the constant struggle to stay whole, keep her down, keep her weak.

Lapis had a lot to prove.

Though the sting of tears and regret peppered her cheeks inside the monstrosity, she forced them to start walking, one hand after one in a grating forced march. She doesn’t look back.

She turned her back on Peridot and the Crystal Gems and retreated into the ocean, Jaspers hatred heating her and her own icy determination choking them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this angst?? Idk, may just be my normal wring, with like a sad ending.


	5. Make Me an Offer

Lapidot Tuesday Prompt: Blushing

“Alright, you have three chances to make me an offer.” Peridot folded her arms nervously. She was trapped, but she was also a negotiator. “Better than what Yellow Diamond could.”

“You’re about to be our prisoner.” Garnet asserted flatly.

“Wait, wait,” Steven puts up his arms, “let’s try this.”

“I suppose her coming with us willingly would be the easiest solution.” Pearl said thoughtfully as they circled her.

“Tch, that’s right clods, I’ll even throw in some information.” She mentally congratulated herself for the bluff.

“Yes!” Steven pumped his fist in the air. “Okay, okay…” He approaches her, she arches an eyebrow up at him. He kneels down on one knee, “my lady.”

She scoffs, “what?”

“We offer our best accommodations to you. And friendship, we can all be friends and you can show us all your cool gadgets, and have game nights where we let you win.”  
  


“Yellow Diamond has a fleet of hundreds of fleets under her.”

“We’ll throw in this cool rock I found on the beach.” He holds up a multi-colored stone, his eyebrows furrow.

“I thought you said I could have that.” Amethyst says through her teeth.

“Not interested. In your earth rocks.” She laughs to herself a little, she may be missing a foot and a couple fingers, but she wasn’t above a subtle joke.

“C’mon on Steven, she’s just going to be difficult.” The blue gem, a recent addition to the Crystal clods, glares at her.

“Shouldn’t you be at the bottom of the ocean?” She asserts.  
  


“Let’s bubble her.” Lapis punches her palm with a fist with a ‘smack.’ Peridot looks distinctly away from the delicate girl. Her informant was full of attitude.

“Alright, think of this.” Pearl steps forward with her finger in the air, she makes a shrewd expression, “Rose Quartz fought in the war against Homeworld before. And she won.”

She puffs her chest out. 

Peridot tilts her head to the side and “hmms.”

“Your a smart gem.” Amethyst flatters, “you could be on the winning side.”

“And we can stop chasing on you.” Garnet blankly inputs.

“Maybe…” Peridot squints and then grins widely, “ _but_  Rose Quartz isn’t here anymore.”  
They all automatically glance at Steven who wilts a little.

“Enough of this!” Lapis outbursts, throwing her arms in the air. “I have an offer for you.” She shakes her fist at her.

“I’m not interested in a fusion.” Peridot backs up as Lapis unfurls her wings, she pauses, “where is Jasper anyway?” Her eyes dart around, Jasper would not like seeing her negotiating with the enemy.

As in _really not like_.

“Let’s just say she’s gone.” Lapis grins, and Peridot shivers. Only a little.

“Okay, one more offer.” Her voice cracks as Lapis takes her time in flying up to her perch in the back of the cave.

“Maybe she’ll want her foot back?” Steven wonders out loud.

“Or maybe we could offer her… a hand.” Amethyst snickers and holds up Peridot’s missing fingers. Steven joins in and they giggle like half-cracked gems at her. Peridot growls in the back of her throat.

“We can offer you safety.” Garnet says reasonably, “from Yellow Diamond. If she isn’t happy with you.”

Peridot goes paler in the face. That was a good point. The Diamond might not be happy with her.

“But can you guarantee it?” Peridot asks skeptically, she surveys the three gems astutely, “I don’t think so.” She grinds her teeth.  
“I have something.” Laspis was standing next to her on the ledge. Peridot flinches and edges away.

“Don’t hit her Lapis!” Steven calls up, “we can work it out.”

Peridot presses herself flat against the cave wall. Lapis leans in, her breath flutters on her ear and her lips hover just above her cheek.

Peridot squeezes her eyes shut. She can feel her heart painfully contract, thumping in her ears.

Laspis whispers in her ear.

Peridot can feel her cheeks fill with blood, pooling in face and making even her ears glow a darker shade of green.

“Uh.” She sneaks a look at Lapis whose expression softens.

“And that’s a promise.”

“Don’t hurt her.” Steven asserts again as he climbs up the rock pile.

Lapis sighs, “I won’t. You’re right Steven.” She beams down at him.

She grabs the last of Peridot’s hand. “We can be friends. If you want to take that offer.”  
Peridot hesitated, and then nodded ever so slightly.

Pearl’s eyes go wide, “really?” Her fingers hover over her mouth.

“I’ll come with.” She squeaks, and then clears your throat, “if you can guarantee protection of course.”

She scowls as Steven cheers. Lapis leads her down the cave formation. They tumble down and end up on the cave floor and everyone looks at each other with interest.

“You have to promise not to betray us.” Garnet says, staring her down directly.

“Oh yeah, we’ll eat you alive if you go back to her.” Lapis smiles at her like a shark and Peridot can feel her face heat up again.

“No turning back.” She says quietly, “yeah, alright you clods, I won’t sell you out as long as you put your part of the bargain.”

“Well. This is surprising.” Amethyst scratches her head.

“What did you tell her?” Pearl asks lowly.

Lapis shrugs, “Nothing important.” They start walking back to their home. Perhaps she would be safer there. Better then running all the time.

And Peridot follows them out back into the daylight and tries not to look at the ocean gem strolling besides her.  

 _“Bad gems stay alone you know. And then they crack alone._ ” Lapis had then kissed her on the cheek. Like a flutter, a brush of pale lips.

Peridot buries her hot face in her hands when no one else is looking.


	6. 1 O'Clock in the Morning at Your Local King Soopers

She strolled past the frozen snacks aisle and tried to remember where the pasta section was. Her blurry brain barely comprehended the board above her head.

“Stupid glasses. Stupid contact lenses.” She swore and she blindly walked to the next aisle.

“Hey, you!” She called out to an employee. The girl with electric blue hair turned to her from stacking cereal on the shelves. She looked almost familiar.

“You again.” She did not sound excited.

“Pasta.” Is all Peridot gets out.

“Ravioli, ravioli.” She responds flatly, Peridot rolls her eyes. “Don’t you have like need of three Dorito bags and a jug of milk to buy? I remember that.”

Peridot went a little red in the face, “no, but I do have a boss that will have my ass on a platter and then sell it to the highest bidder if I don’t get her a specific type of pasta.” Peridot throws her hands in the air. The girl arches an eyebrow and opens her mouth to speak,

“I meant to go to a special modmarket to get it, but I was also busy with her dry cleaning and an unhappy broker who thought it was my job to listen to their garbage complaints out of their clodding garbage mouth.”

“Okay, buddy, I get it, it was a long day.” She approaches slowly. She was fairly attractive. Really attractive Peridot’s brain shouted as she came into view out of the blurry horizon.

A white skirt, blue blouse, round face, only the deep bags under her eyes like bruises painted on by a raincloud ruined the image.  
Her deep grey eyes were also bloodshot, red veins framing the sheets of grey glass. Peridot suddenly wondered if she was high. She was a King Soopers employee. Peridot inched away.

“Pasta is this wah-ay.” She sang and then pointed to the left, leading Peridot, who trails after her by a good three paces, through the quiet store.

“See? Pasta for ages.” She takes her to aisle nine and a large swath of plain noodles in packages.

Peridot groans and hangs her head.

“Now what?” 

“This will take forever.” Lapis, the name on her nametag, puts her hands on her hips, Peridot half expects her to offer to help.

“Good luck.” Peridot scowls at the girl’s retreating back and then turns back to her work.

“Strongozzi. Strongozzi.” She muttered to herself as she squinted at the boxes.

The florescent lights contrasted with the black night outside, and the eery wake of a dead store weighed heavy on her shoulder tops. But what could she do, this was all the time she had and it was the only place open.

She surveyed the surrounding boxes, picking each one up and examining the label and type. Around half an hour passed. It was 1:30 in the morning at her local king soopers.

She sighed, she rustled through the store, trying to spot, yes, electric blue hair.

She softly padded up behind her, “You don’t have my pasta.” The girl jumped, nearly dropping the orange juice she was stocking, “You need to have my pasta.”

“Dear lord, you need a bell." She swore, "And some better eyes, we have a whole wall of pasta.”

“Yeah, well, I lost my glasses and my life is, in fact, hell. I need some…” She pauses, as if she was going to choke, “help.”

The girl sighed deeply, “look buddy,”

“It’s Peridot.”

“What?”

“Peridot. Like the gem. For August. My parents were not creative.”

“Oh nice, my name is Lapis Lazuli. They thought it was funny.”

“Okay,” she says slowly, “cool. Though your name tag is there too.”

“Humph,” she turns her name tag away, “alright, fine, what is your pasta dilemma?”

“Come on.” This time Lapis follows Peridot to the large carbohydrate section.

“Strongozzi.” She says blankly as they get there.

“Strong what?”

“Strongozzi. It’s a pasta type.”

Lapis surveys the shelves, tapping her finger to her chin, “let’s look.”

Peridot considered questioning her on why she didn’t know all the products in the store, but shuts her mouth.

They repeat the process, 15 minutes this time, 1:55 at her local King Soopers.

Lapis finally swings her arms down to her side, “alright blondie, this isn’t worth it.” She picked up a box from the bottom section.

“Maybe not for you.” She replied shortly.

“Here.” It was angel hair pasta, Lapis shoved it into her hands, “she won’t know the difference. OR it’ll taste even better.” She winks at her.

“Are you pasta expert?” Peridot sniffed, Lapis shrugged.

“I had some college experiences that involved some odd months of only noodles in cups.” She said more chipper, a pale smile on her face.

Peridot eyed her, she had gone to college.

“My boss is _not_ flexible. I don’t think dorm food will cut it.”

“I swear on my King Sooper honor it will get you through, besides,” she snorts, “you’re the one that didn’t make it to the mod market. Beggars can’t be choosers.”

Peridot goes red in the face, “alright, I see your point,” she trails off, “thanks for your help.” She grumbled and walked over to self check out.

She doesn’t look behind her to see what the girl Lapis Lazuli does next.


	7. Four O'Clock at Your Local King Soopers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whole Story Written Before 'Catch and Release' came out

Lapis’s head was light and her mood was a storm cloud. It was her fourth day at the store in a row, and fourth work day running on 3-2 hours of sleep.

She was withering.

Her shift was almost over though, and she could feel the time ticking by faster than normal. The drowsiness in her bones even told her she might be able to sleep tonight.

It was a novel idea.

She was sweeping the last part of aisle 16 when she heard the automatic doors at the front the store swoop open. Lapis peaked around the corner, she was always a little curious on who came in at this hour.

Mostly people up too early, or out too late.

She turns around the corner and rolls her eyes. It was the late night regular. Peridot something or rather.

She had short bleach-blonde hair, a long horse face and, if Lapis had to, she would place her as Middle Eastern. Her eyes were none the less sharp green and limbs like robotic swans: long, elegant and stiff. 

New glasses perched on her face and Lapis went back to sweeping. "Regulars" were not very interesting compared to soccer moms coming in to frantically buy a birthday cake at 4. Or that sad drunk girl who sat in the aisle and drank a gallon of gatorade while yelling about their boyfriends. That _was_ funny.

 

Lapis goes about her business on autopilot for a better part of her last hour up until someone comes stomping down her aisle.

“You.” Someone said to her back, acid in her voice and finger pointing in her face. "I've been looking for you."

“Oh brother.” She expressed, unamused, it was the girl.

“I. Am. Going. To. Lose. My. Job.”

“That sucks,” she looks her dead in the eye, “if you want to know, King Soopers is always hiring. The key to the interview is to not look like you do meth...That's it.”

“That. Was. Not. Good-”

Lapis’s watch started to ding, she observes with a small smirk forming.

“Okay, you’re going to have to hold that thought, I have to get off work.”  
  
Peridot folded her arms. “You, me, the parking lot.” She answered shortly.

“Ugh. But know if I’m not back in 24 hours my landlady will call the police.” That was a lie. But she didn’t want Peridot to get any ideas.

“I’ll be waiting.” She said through clenched teeth.

Lapis turned her back on her, and walked to the employee room to punch out.

She takes her time in putting her apron away and picking up her purse. The bus was still an hour away, and it’s not like she wanted to spend all that time being yelled at.

She finally shuffled out to the parking lot.

“That was bad pasta!” Is the first thing Peridot yelled at her.

Lapis scowled, “talk to my manager. Call HR, not my fault your boss has some shit expensive taste.” Lapis hated people like that.

“She’s going to fire me,” the frazzled looking girl said miserably.

“King Soopers, always hiring.” She chirped as she started walking to the bus stop.

Peridot trailed after her, “I did not get a master’s in computer science for that, but I guess I didn’t get it to be someone’s butt-monkey secretary either.”

  
Lapis snickers, “butt monkey.”  
  
“Your seven.” She said back flatly.

“Why are you even here?”  
  
“I don’t know,” she sighed, “the pasta fiasco occurred and you were the first one I thought of.”

“That is incredibly sad.”  
  
“You sold me cheap pasta!”

Lapis sniffs, she sits down primly at her bus stop to wait for the 5 am bus back home, “look I have to get home, not sleep for a couple hours and then come back here. Can you complain at me next shift?”  
  
Peridot sat down next to her and rested her head on the side of the bus stop.

“You must work a lot,” She sighs, “... I know the feeling.”  
  
Lapis shrugged, “it’s something to do.”

“And you always look tired, do they even give you days off?” She looked off into the distance. Lapis doesn’t reply momentarily.

  
“Look I know you're trying to relate to me, but you have some sort of high end job for fun, I am resigned to this, even though I should really just be starting a fight club.” She chuckles.

“Fight club? What.”

“It’s a movie,” she eyes her, “you’ve never seen it?”  
  
Peridot shakes her head ‘no.’

Lapis was almost tempted to force this complete stranger to watch Fight Club with her. She stopped herself and looks away. “Your loss.”  
  
“So you need to fight people?”  
  
“Not quite. I mean yes, obviously, I work in retail.”

Peridot snorts in something that might be a laugh. “But?”

“The main character can’t sleep. That’s me.” She points at herself, “As in I figured I might as well get a night job to compliment my insomnia.”

“That sucks.” Peridot responds with the minimum of human compassion.

“Thanks.” Lapis sees her bus coming around the corner, the only vehicle on the road as the sun rises.

“It’s pretty at this time at least.” Peridot studied the horizon where the yellow orb rose painted in pinks and oranges.

Lapis saw it a lot, but it was nice to see someone else enjoying it. She gives a half smile towards Peridot.

“See you round Peridot.” She said lightly as she stood up and picked out her bus pass from the mess of her purse.

“Right. Yeah, cause I’ll have nothing else to do but go to your lousy King Soopers again.”

Lapis gives out a laugh like bells, “that’s what I figure.”  
  
“Ugh.”

Lapis steps onto the bus as the doors swing open. She waves at Peridot as she drives off, mostly sardonically.


	8. Two O'Clock at Your Local King Soopers

Warning: stalking

Peridot couldn’t believe she was going back there. Not after she had embarrassed herself and accused an employee of being responsible for her personal fuck ups.

Guilt bit at the edge of throat like rising bile.

But she was strung out, she needed sleeping pills, milk and at least five different types of junk food.

It didn’t help that it was 2 in the morning and she had just gotten off work.

 

She snuck around the grocery store, collecting chips and red bull like fuel points in a video game. She had to up her HP while not getting caught, 2 lives lost if Lapis spotted her.

She made it to the last aisle and nervously picked up a drink. She was thirsty and stressed, and goddammit she was going to drink some milk.

She shifted her eyes around and then opened the lid, taking an uneasy sip.

“Peridot!” Peridot spit out the milk, Lapis approaches her with a huge a grin on her face.

“Uh, Lapis.” She said taken back by her cheery greeting.

“It’s so good to see you, can I help you find that shampoo you were looking for?”

Peridot eyes or up and down and wondered if delirium was taking over in her addled mind. Ms. Diamond wasn’t going to like that.

“Here, let me show you the way.” She grabbed her by the shoulder in an iron grip and guided her past the dairy aisle across the store.

“What’s up?” Peridot wondered out loud.

Lapis leaned forward, right next to her ear, Peridot almost shuddered from the contact. “That guy has been following me around all night. I didn’t want to look alone.”

Peridot squinted, and then turns her head. “Don’t look!” She orders and jerked Peridots face front and center. “He’s like, just a middle aged creep, but I don’t want to talk to him. Or be watched. My boss didn’t believe me.”  
  


Peridot frowned, really frowned, “how long is your shift?” Peridot's eyes narrowed.

“Uh, two more hours. But I think I might go home early.” She sounded nervous, unsure of herself.

Peridot nodded, “go clock out. I’ll wait for you outside.”  
  
Her eyes go wide. “Really? The bus doesn’t even come for, uh, a long time.”

She doesn’t meet Lapis’s gaze, “it’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Peridot broke the rules and glanced at the middle aged frumpy man behind them, he had beady eyes and full beard, “I’m sure.”

She waits like a security guard outside of the employee entrance. She tapped her foot on the parking lot asphalt and clenched her hands. No way was a person going to stalked on her watch.

It was at least her job to watch after Ms. Diamond, it might as well carry over into something important.

Lapis jogs out the door five minutes later, her long skirt swaying in the breeze.

She turns to Peridot, a light smile framing her red cheeks, brightly colored from the cold. Peridot tried not to stare.

“Sooo, bus stop?” She said grabbing her bag closer to her shoulder.

“Yeah. I can wait with you.”  
  
“Oh jeez, fuck, that is too much.” She ran her fingers through her hair and looked she was going even more red in the face.

“No, look, I’m just doing it for whatever. It’s bad karma.” She finally stuttered out as the night dragged on.

“I think you mean good karma.”  
  
“Better than leaving you here.”  
  
“Yeah.” She breaths, her breath floating away in a puff of white smoke, “thanks.”  
  
They shuffle over to the bus stop a block away.

Peridot thought it was okay then, it was fine. But when she looks behind them a figure is framed by the street lights loomed behind them. Peridot catches her breath, it was okay, it would fine.

“You saw him too?” Lapis whispered.

“We’ll come with a contingency plan.” Peridot was all about plans.

“I’m so dumb, maybe he just needed a question. Or hey, I’m losing it and he was wandering around the store _not_ following me.” Lapis rubbed her head, her bloodshot eyes glowing in the dark.

“Look, no, these kind of things are messed up and I saw him too. That wasn’t friendly.”  
  
Lapis stiffened beside her, walking closer to her in the cold, close to shaking.

They make it to the bus stop, and they sit close together on the bench.

Peridot takes out her phone and scrolls past the recent news updates. Her boss would want a briefing in the morning.

Lapis peers over her shoulder as she goes through her phone, “you have Candy Crush?” Lapis lights up.

Peridot turns her head slightly, “level 64.” She smirked at her.

“That’s nice.” Lapis takes out her own phone, an iphone 4, Peridot cringes at the outdated tech. “Level 104.”

“What the fu-” Lapis laughs briefly, clear and melodical, but Peridot stops mid sentence.

Lapis follows her gaze, the man was lumbering closer like an apparition of every girl's darkest fear.

Peridot watched as a bead a sweat ran down Lapis’s forehead in the chilled air.

“Hey ladies!” He spoke, hoarse and "friendly."

“Oh haha, Lapis, you did you forget your wallet?” She pronounced loudly.

“I mean n-,” Peridot elbows her in the ribs, “I mean sure. I’m a doof, I forget things, I think I was distracted by your horse face.” She said flatly with a bit of a cheeky look on her face.

“ _Horse face_??” She sputters, Lapis suppressed her own laugh despite the situation, Peridot cleared her throat, “I mean, I think you left it at my place.”  
  
Rasping breath came into hearing distance.

“Your place?” Lapis questions, “oh!” She lights up and her eyes dart around, “your place, yeah, sure. After all the **_great gay sex_** ,” She yelled that part while her eyes focused on the guy, “I left it your place.”

Peridot was slack in the mouth and absolutely could not respond as Lapis dragged her in the opposite direction. “On three we run.” She murmured.

“Um.”

“So we can lose him. And then, uh,” Lapis looked at her searchingly. “Something.”

“My place.” Peridot confirmed, “I live five minutes away.”  
  
“Why didn’t you say so?”

“I didn’t think ‘let’s go to my place baby,’ was entirely appropriate for the given situation.”

  
“Okay, okay,” She glanced behind them nervously, he was still there. “One,” She started, “wait, you don’t have nerd asma do you?”

Peridot growls in the back of her throat, “two.”  
  
“Three.” Lapis huffs, and then they’re off, loping through the night like antelopes on the pavement savanna, Peridot leads Lapis through the familiar winding streets, taking Lapis through as many turns as possible.

They skid through Meadow Lane right into the Lake district.

Peridot catches Lapis as they slow down to a halt, both of them gasping for air.

They momentarily breathe heavily while leaning on the park trees.

“Haha!” Lapis punches Peridot in the arm. Hard. “We lost ‘em.”  
  
“Ow.” Peridot rubs her forearm.

“High five me!” Lapis puts up her hand.

“You hit me.”

“In celebration.” She moves her hand closer to her. Peridot reluctantly high fives her with a resounding ‘smack.’

“He never had a chance.” She jumped up and down and seemed happy. Peridot smiled.

“Okay. Now that Creep Man number one can’t see, I live right down Lark Parkway in the condo complex.” She pointed, and then started walking decisively.

“You’re uh, really gonna let me stay with you? I could rob you blind you know.”  
  
“He could be waiting for you at the bus.” Peridot whispered and Lapis shoved her hands in her coat pockets, “aaannd I know where you work.” She pokes her side.

“That’s an understatement.” They exchange a tense but amicable smile.

“So no stealing, but amazing sex…” She trails off, Lapis goes completely red in the face ad puffs out her cheeks.

“That was for theatrics!” She defended, “to really drive home that I’m not interested.”

She snickered, “Your face looks like a red balloon. I’m just teasing.”  
  
Lapis huffed and looks anywhere but at Peridot.

They walk up to Peridot’s front walkway, Lapis looks around in awe and whistles.

“Okay, so if you’re fired, is your stick-up-her-ass boss hiring?”  
  
“I wasn’t fired.” Peridot jingled her keys in the lock.

“Yet.” Lapis contributed happily, “which reminds me, I have a new pasta type to recommend.”

“You’re an ass.”  
  
Lapis laughed a full bodied chuckle, like rough unused cans crushed together. Peridot can feel her heart pick up like a runaway train about to spiral off the tracks.

She yanked the first gate open. “I don’t live in the whole place anyway. It’s basically an apartment.” She started to jog up the stairs to the second floor, Lapis followed after.

“If these are apartments then I live in a matchstick box.” She retorts as Peridot finally makes it to her faceless white door. She takes out her second set of keys and inserts them in the door. “Which it sort of is anyway.”

“Where do you live?” She asked curiously as she opened the door to a darkened room.

Lapis peered in curiously. “Nice place.” She said softly.

Peridot turned on the light and they pad indoors. “I live in Midlands city. You know, downtown.”  
  
“The city?” Peridot paused in taking off her jacket, “that’s 20 minutes away. I would know, I work there.”  
  
“Well, I live there. And it’s 45 minutes by bus miss.”

“Man.” Peridot laughs, “you wanna trade?”  
  
“Hell yes.” Lapis immediately inspects her dining table.

“Kidding.” Peridot cringed, she was making this weird. “You can sleep on my bed though.” Peridot commented, trying to make it better, “I have work to do anyway.”  
  
“I don’t sleep.” Lapis said simply, naturally, like a fact of life. She inspected a pictures on the wall, an abstract art piece her mom picked out.

“I never would have guessed.” She responded sarcastically.

“Ha. Ha.”

“The bags under your eyes say you should try.”  
  
Lapis turns to her, looking at her directly in the eye, “you two then.”  
  
“What?”

“You’re an overworked pencil pusher.” She repeated, “I’ll sleep when you do.”

Peridot rolls her eyes, “I don’t have a living room. As in, a couch.”  
  
Lapis grinned, “that’s what I thought anyway.”  
  


Peridot’s mouth hangs open slightly. It couldn’t happen, not like this, cute girls didn’t just fall into her bed like panties thrown on a musician's stage.

“I assume you have a huge bed anyway.” Her eyes sparkle.

“Uh.” Lapis turns around and opened one of the doors, a lucky guess, to the bedroom.

“Aha!’ She announces, “it’s even bigger than I thought. You must be so tiny in it.”

“I thought you didn’t sleep.”  
  
“I do _rest_. I like to think of myself as a mattress connoisseur actually. I worked at IKEA too.” She hung her coat up on the door and started to disrobe.

“That sounds like a better job than King Soopers.”  
  
“Yeah, well, it turns out trying _all_ the mattresses is a bad idea.”

Peridot chuckled, “do you want something to wear?”  
  
Lapis looked down at herself, “not really, I mean if you don’t mind.”  
  
Peridot shrugged, “not really.”

Their eyes met as Peridot looked up, they both go slightly red in the face, this was happening.

Lapis turned her back on her, unbuttoning her pants in the process, “You know on second thought, I’ll take the floor. Your carpets thick, and I won’t be sleeping anyway.”

“You decision.” She says in an abnormally high pitched voice.

They get ready for bed.

Peridot absolutely does not stare at Lapis in her boxer shorts and tank top. Leering at others was for people below her.

She snuck a peak, but that’s just cause this sort of thing doesn’t happen to people like her. Lapis didn’t seem to care. She seemed pretty careless in general.

“Do you want some tea?” She was way too high pitched, she clears her throat and lowers it two octaves, “it could help with, you know.”

Lapis turns around and tilts her head, “I’m always a slut for caffeine, what type?”  
  


“No caffeine. My gran sends me all sorts of the stuff for my ‘health.’ Here’s one called ‘Sleepy Head, Bed Time,” She points to a box with a handwritten note on it.

Lapis giggles, “that’s adorable!” She exclaims and jogs into the kitchen. She pinches Peridot’s cheek, “that’s the cutest grandma thing I’ve heard. Where is it from?”  
  
“Ohio.” Peridot said tartly and swatted Lapis’s hand away, “I’ll make you some.”  
  
“Uh, I mean,” Lapis went red in the face again, what was up with her, “you don’t have to do all this stuff for me.”  
  
Peridot looked away and put the kettle on, “hey, yelling at you was...uncalled for. And I wasn’t going to leave you there.”  
  
Lapis sat down and looked at her lap, “that was sort of scary.”  
  
Peridot concentrated on filtering the tea into the cups. She didn’t know what to say, “Men are the worst.” Is what comes out.

Lapis glances up shyly at her through her lashes, “yeah.”

Peridot didn’t know what that meant.

She places the drink in front of the girl and they stare at each other from across the table.

“This is...good.” Lapis breaths, “and also still adorable.”  
  
Peridot nodded, “what did you expect?”  
  
Lapis arches an eyebrow, “a certain amount of disappointment for it being non-caffeinated.”

“Jeez, why don’t you just work at a coffee shop?”

“I did!” She crowed.

“You get around.” Peridot muttered into her drink.

“I do.” Her voice is low and gravely, her hooded eyes look over Peridot. She almost chokes. “The local business market is no match for my resume skills!” She laughs, zipping back to light hearted.

 

They chat, and drink her grandma’s present until Lapis is actually yawning, and Peridot has to be at work in three hours.

“Do you think….” She finally says, “I could try and sleep?” It was soft velvet words and full of promises.

“Sure. Yeah.” Peridot fumbled up and opened the door to her room. She flinched, she wished she’d made the bed this morning. Lapis hovers, and walks in like a zombie.

“I’ll hella stay on my side.” She mumbled and creakily pulls the covers back, “and,” she yawns, “pay for any dry cleaning if you’re that type, or, or,” She yawns and doesn’t finish the sentence, forgetting she had wanted to sleep on the floor.

Peridot melted a little inside before feeling her own eyes drooping. Two hours of sleep couldn’t hurt.

She climbs into bed with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliche bed sharing! We’re here! Beds, cuddles, everything.
> 
> Can be found at: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4917970/chapters/11283217


	9. The Little Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grocery Store AU becoming a series! And will be deleted from here in a few days

“Peridot!” Lapis called for her.

Peridot pauses her perusing of the human internet. She stops herself from running into the room at full speed down Steven’s steps. She was composed. She didn’t rush to the pretty blue gem.

“What is it?” She advanced into Steven’s ‘living room.’

Lapis stood up from peering under the couch, she shines a pretty smile her way. That was new.

“What do you want?” She repeats a little more nervously.

“Could you get my brush from under the couch?” She bats her lashes. Oh, that’s why.

“Get it yourself.” She replies shortly.

“I can’t. I don’t fit.” She holds her hands behind her back, “I figured I could get someone with the right  _skill sets_. Just for the little things.”

“You’re only a finger or two taller than me!” She growls.

Lapis looks up at the ceiling. “Weeell, an inch or two too big for the crawl space that is.”

“Why were you brushing your hair anyway?” She eyes her.

“Uh, I like the way it feels?” Lapis seemed uncertain, that seemed strange, “could you just get my brush please?”

“Fine, but,” She hears someone coming in the door, she turns swiftly, “oh Steven. He could get the-whatever for you.”

“Oh no, I came in at the wrong time.” He seemed to curse to himself.

“It’s okay! Peridot was just about to get my brush for me.” Her smile stretches stiffly across her face.  
  
“Yay!” Steven cheers.

“Okay, yeah, whatever.” They were acting weird, better to do what they wanted then.

Peridot knelt down and started to climb under the sitting devise, “stupid couch, stupid  _compost piles_  that make me crawl down here,” She complained to herself as she got to the back of the dusty wall.

She felt around, groping in the gloom until finally she got a hold of something, it was round and small with a hole in the middle. It wasn’t a brush.

She crawls back out. “I didn’t find your hair-tool, but, this thing.” She hesitates and looks at the finger trap with a precious stone on the side. “What is this?”  
  
“Surprise!” Peridot jumps as Lapis whoops at her, “human fusion!” She laughs and jumps up and down.

“Wedding, wedding, wedding.” Steven cheered and they both looked at her excitedly.

“As in?” She arches an eyebrow.

“It was Steven idea. It’s humans version of, what was it, ‘becoming one.’”

“I know you guys only fused a couple times, but Saphire and Ruby won’t let me throw them a wedding. And you guys looked like you were having fun.”  
  
Peridot could feel her cheeks heating it up. “What am I supposed to do with it?”  
“Put it on your hand!” She cheered.

“This is…dumb.” But she slips it on quickly and examines it one her hand.

Steven tugs on Lapis’s shoulder and Peridot watches as he whispers in her ear.

“Oh.” She says softly. “If that what happens.” She leans down, Peridot darts her eyes around apprehensively, Lapis pressed her lips softly to Peridot’s forehead. She flinches, but her face goes two shades darker in color.

“Lazuli!” She clamors and struggles under the kiss.

“No!” Steven scolds, “like this,” he mimes the human form of affection, holding an imaginary head and puckering.

“I don’t know Steven,” Lapis has amusement in her eyes, “I’m not sure if I want to hurt my back leaning down  _that far_.” She holds her back in her hands and smirks.

“Erg.” Peridot growls in the back of her throat.

“It’s part of weddings.” He pouts, Peridot hops on the coffee table, she’d show them human marriage.

“Peridot, what are you-mmph.”

She grabs Lazuli’s face and dips her down from the coffee table, pressing their mouths together roughly.

“Wa-hoo!” Steven pumps his hands in the air.

Lapis is stiff against her at first, then loosens up halfway through, softening and slightly opening her mouth.

Peridot has no idea what she is doing, but Lapis tasted like salt, brine and ocean sunsets, she deepens the ‘kiss.’

Peridot can feel Steven shift uncomfortably besides them. Peridot pulls away, they look each other in the eyes, then tilt their heads together and tap their foreheads.

“Hehe,” Lapis laughs and Peridot joins her.

She turns to Steven, “what happens at this wedding you want to throw?”

“A huge ceremony! And everyone cries and you switch rings, then everyone eats cake and dances, I’ll even sing. Then you get in a car and we throw rice at you.” He explains earnestly.

“Then what?” Lapis tilts her head and he shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he looks at them blankly, “my dad said he’d tell me when I’m older.”

“Hmm,” Peridot hops down from the coffee and subtly interlocks her hands with Lapis, “Lazuli doesn’t get to wear heels though.”

She snorts, “are you kidding me? I’m not wearing shoes at all.”

Steven seems giddy, “summer fun-bathroom buddies wedding. I’ll send the invitations.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a NSFW drabble (church AU) but idk do you guys mind it here? Or I could make a whole lapidot NSFW drabble collection, I dunno


	10. Today is the Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in the canon high school AU. Also, me messing with the regular Lapis- Peridot dynamic I write.

Today was the day. Today was absolutely the day. 

“Hey.” Lapis approached Peridot slowly, shifting her weight from one foot to another, “my computer has been acting up.” She looked up at the ceiling and held her laptop closer to her skirt.

Peridot glanced up from her textbook,“Again?”

“Yeah, again.” She says more aggressively, “you wanna fix it?”

Peridot sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose, “what do you have for me in return?”  
  
“Aw, c’mon Peri, we’ve been friends for long enough.”  
  
“You should really just buy a new computer.” She grumbles.

“Excuse me miss bourgeois.”

“Yes, yes, show me the out dated pile of sparks.” Lapis happily sits down and plops the machine in front of her.

She carefully watches her, opening it, grumbling at it, her swift digits working over the keypad. It was like a soothing display of nature.

Lapis couldn’t say when she started to feel this way. Probably when she transferred to the class and Peridot told her to ‘forget clodding Rose Quartz, none of those group of girls are nice anyway.’

And a couple other insults and cute faces later and Lapis had a, well she wasn’t gonna say it.

“How in the hell did you manage to download two different viruses in the span of a week?!” Peridot outbursts.

Lapis flinches, well, something had to bear the brunt of her sacrifice for this endeavour.

“We just don’t know.” Lapis says in wide eyed faux-surprise.

“These aren’t even the hidden ones, they’re just straight up downloadable garbage.”

“What can I say,” Lapis shrugs, “I’m a clutz.”

“That’s it Lazuli, come with me.” Lapis’s face heats up as Peridot grabs her wrist and tours her down the school hallway.

“What is it?” Was she going to take her down to a closet somewhere and well, to do something.

They arrive at the school store instead.

“One computer anti-virus protector.” Peridot slapped down her credit card.

“Wh-what?” Lapis’s eyes went wide, “c’mon, dude, this is unnecessary.”

“Computer health Lazuli isn’t a joke.”

Lapis laughs nervously. “You can’t just spend money on me.”

“Consider it an early birthday present.” She smiles her off-kilter, sloping smile, “besides we’ve been friends long enough.”

“What type?” A gruff voice, Lars?, asks from behind the counter.

“Kaspersky. Charge it.” Peridot says a random word. He hands her over a flat card while swiping her credit card.

“This is too much.” Lapis murmurs.

“Now you won’t get anymore pesky viruses.” She hands her the flat card and runs her hand through her vertical hair.

"Thank you." She breathes.

"It's nothing Lazuli." Peridot pushes her glasses up on her nose, “I’ve got that midterm to study for. I’ll see in homeroom.”

She waves her off and trots down the hall, leaving Lapis in the middle of the hallway with a red river painted across her face. Oh great, instead of seduction she was just getting _it_ worse.

She sighs and holds the computer protection to her chest.

\-----------

Lapis realizes she’s going to have to be more direct. As in really direct and just get this out of the way.

‘Dear Peridot,’ she starts, ‘you’re a loser.’ She crosses that out, but not before drawing some hearts around it. ‘You’re really small + cute,’ she crosses that off as well.

She groans and lies her head down on her desk. Crushes were dumb and so was she.

Lapis sits back up and gets out a new piece of paper, she stares at it blankly.

“Hey, aqua-head.” Lapis looks up with a glare, “what’cha up to?”

“Jasper. I sincerely mean this.” She begins, “but I need you to find a deep river and jump into. Forever.”

“Tough words from someone with negative muscle mass.” She flexes. Of course she flexes.

Lapis growls in the back of her throat, Jasper approaches and leans over her shoulder. Lapis would personally consider Jasper her enemy, but in the way she accidently hung out with her all the time. Rose Quartz described them as ‘friends.’ But Lapis did not like Rose Quartz.

“A love letter?” Jasper crows far too loudly. “Who would want to date you?”

“None of your business! And you don’t know it’s that.”

“There’s a giant heart at the top.” Lapis had to stop drawing those.

“Give it here.”

“I’ll eat you.” Jasper picks up the paper anyway and starts scribbling on it with her big meaty hands. Lapis broils.

She yanks the paper out of Jasper’s hands shortly. All it read was ‘I am blue, and really lame, you’ve probably got no brain. Date me.’

It was better than what Lapis had. She would never admit that. She hears the bell for next period and walks out of the room stiffly.

“Hope you give whoever it is crabs.” She calls after her. “Like the ocean? _Crabs_.”

Lapis very literally rolled her eyes, and recognized this wasn't good. Jasper knew she had a crush. Who knew how long before everyone knew. She clenched her hands and stared up at the ceiling.

\-----------

Lapis was defeated. It was the end of the day and Peridot was just oblivious and she was just not gutsy enough. She would just have to let her crush on Peridot fade and let the whole thing _die_.

Peridot was probably feeling how strange she had been since she was quieter on their way home. Quite and walking ahead of Lapis.

She slowed down, “I was talking to Jasper.” She said very slowly as they almost made it to the bus stop.

“Oh?” Lapis states in the most flat voice she could manage. Controlled, even, that was Lapis.

“She said, uh, that you were having an issue.”

Lapis snorted, “I have plenty, girl.”

“But, uh,” Peridot falters and walks ahead of Lapis.

Lapis catches up. “But let’s just say, trust me, it isn't one won’t be solved an anti-virus program.” It felt sort of good to air some of her feelings, however obtusely. 

“I know. But look,” she takes a deep breath, “I heard about a love letter.”

All the blood drained from Lapis’s face, this was it, this was her moment, “yeah?” Lapis’s head spun and it didn’t look like it was slowing down.

“And if you like Jasper…”

“Ah!” She yells in indignation plus frustration, “Jasper is the worst Peridot. And not in the good way.”

“The good way?”

“Like…” _You_. Lapis chokes on her own tongue. The bus drives up from around the corner, Lapis’s heart speeds up like a jackhammer, “like long nights in the library and having to walk together in the rain and making fun Quartz’s gang, and, and,” she takes a deep breath, “that smile, and glasses, and computer protection.”

Lapis leans as she talks, their eyes becoming closer as her heart rate hit maximum capacity. Peridot’s mouth hung open and her wide green eyes held her pupils blown up to hell.

“Lapis.” She squeaks, “Lapis.” She repeats.

“And two inches shorter than me, and answers every question in class, and I’m an idiot but I’m a-”

“Can I see your Kaspersky?” She interrupts her and Lapis deflates like a zeppelin struck by thunder. She wasn't getting it.

“Sure.” She was so red in the face she could possibly float away from the heat. Peridot was either so slow in the head it was unreal or else Lapis had reached a new level of embarrassing herself.

Peridot took a sharpie out of her pocket and jots something down inside the piece of cardboard.

Lapis wants to die, “c’mon ladies!” The bus driver calls as the door opens.

Peridot looks up, their eyes meet, before Lapis can say anything Peridot shoves the computer protection into her hands and presses her mouth firmly to Lapis’s cheek.

“See you tomorrow.” She yells and runs on the bus like her feet were on fire.

Lapis stands there dumbfounded as the bus drove away. It had worked. She couldn’t believe it. She breaks into a huge grin.

“Hell yesss!” She jumps up and down, she opens the card, a heart is written in thick marker across the instructions, it said 'yes' with a check mark in the middle, “HELL YES.” Lapis considers dancing in the middle of the road.

Then she realizes she just missed her bus and hits her forehead.

She looks back at the heart anyway. She sighs, she shoves it in her pocket and decides to walk. It was walking weather, it was a nice day.


	11. Like Couples Do

Prompt: Fall

“Just because I agreed to ‘date’ you, on Steven’s request, doesn’t mean you can take my hiding place.” Lapis puffs out her cheeks and kicks Peridot in the leaves.

Peridot rustles in the pile of foliage they had both climbed under, “I am NOT going to be ‘it’ again Lazuli.” She insists through her teeth.

Lapis snickers, “it’s not my fault you suck at this game…But don’t copy me.”

“I found this place on my own.” She defends, “you just happened to be here.”

“But you’re too noisy!” Lapis pushes her,

“This isn’t the time for touching.” She pushes back and Lapis sticks her tongue out, and they start to wrestle.

“I won’t lose cause you get bored and start squirming.”

“I’ll show you squirming.” She starts rustling in the leaves and kicking her feet.

“Don’t make me grab you!” Lapis dives in, holding her arms down and stilling her movements.

Peridot pulls her hair, they roll around in the bottom of the giant pile until they are even deeper in the jumble.

“Erg.” She growls and they grab and pull on each other until Lapis’s ears perk up.

“Shh,” She places a hand over Peridot’s mouth, “someone’s coming.”

They both freeze, and the sound of softly padding footsteps unmistakably approach. She holds her breath.

Lapis and Peridot stare at each other, faces inches apart, Peridot straddling Lapis in the dark as they crouch lower.

“Hmm.” That sounded like Pearl. But before anything else, the footsteps retreat again.

Lapis exhales, Peridot relaxes against her, they go quiet between them and Lapis feels a strange renewed affection.

Peridot looks at her, her eyes focused on Lapis’s lips and face a darker shade of green from what Lapis could tell in the dim light of the crackling multicolored leaves.

“We don’t have to fight.” Lapis concedes.

“Hmm?”

Lapis smirks, “you’ve proven yourself.” Peridot smacks her, Lapis giggles, “you can stay quite. It’s a miracle.”

They scuffle around again until it’s silent again and Peridot is moving closer to her.

“Hey,” She says finally, says softly, “do you want to do that thing couples do that, hem, Greg mentioned in his lecture?”

“Sometimes you have to renegotiate sleeping arrangements on the bed?

“We don’t sleep.” She points out flatly.

“You would be on the left.” Lapis asserts cheekily.

“No, I’m saying, staying warm in the cold months. Since it’s that time.”

“Um,” Lapis’s face heats up, “are you cold?”

“No, but.” She settles closer to Lapis and tucks her head under Lapis’s chin, her gem on her head hums close to Lapis’s neck, warm and alive. “We could try it.”

They stay there, far too long and motionless. They didn’t know what a couple was, Steven said it would be good for them since she got back. And Lapis, well Lapis liked having something.

Peridot’s body meshes with her, intangibly close and something tumbling and shaking inside Lapis pacifies. She feels something bubbling in her chest, she softly reaches for Peridot’s face and lifts her chin.

“You know what else couples do?” She recalls gently. Peridot shakes her head.

Lapis presses their lips together.

It’s strange, Homeworld always said physical contact was pointless, but this was…close, delicate.

Her whole body leans into it as Peridot kisses her under the leaves and presses into the spongy earth.

The ‘kiss’ heats up, Peridot tilts her head and small tongue flits into her mouth, it is still strange, it’s still all too human.

Peridot grasps at her dipping waist and Lapis wraps her arms around the little gems neck, they make out in the loud crinkle of red and orange dead organic life. Leaves and wind and the expanse of Peridot’s mouth consumers her.

“Aha!” A voice explicates, Peridot and Lapis pull apart in a hurry. Pearl pokes a spear into the pile, Lapis dodges and rolls out of the leaves.

“Hey!” She bites, “careful.”

Peridot crawls out after her, “you okay?” She seems genuinely worried.

“You two have been missing for an hour.” Pearl scowls at them, “Amethyst declared me “The Worst” at Hide and Seek…And gave me this crown.” She explains indignantly and points at a thin hat that sad BAD in it in bright purple.

“That’s too bad.” Lapis says ungenuinely and gets to her feet, ruffling her hair and shaking off any stray dirt and leaves. “The spot was just too good really.”

“Well, at least come tell Steven we found you.” Pearl gestured for them to follow, “and clean yourselves up, your faces are all…sweaty.”

Peridot and Lapis exchange a small smile despite themselves.

“You know what else couples do?” Peridot appeals suddenly as they depart.

“What?”

“Carry them out of this wretched woods back to the house.”

“I don’t think so.” Lapis folds her arms.

“You all walk faster than me.” She grumbles and kicks the ground. Lapis rolls her eyes, but bends down anyway.

“Get on.” Peridot laughs in glee and climbs on her back. Lapis stands up and roughly trots out of the wooded region. Peridot wraps her arms around her neck and she piggybacks her home. Things start to feel normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking next up is a WWII AU, and then like hospital interns? Cause I enjoy being queen of the fluff, fluff queen, all fluff, but Ima try and branch out to more drama


	12. Going in Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic for inamorata-booniverse.tumblr.com for my fic give away!

Lapis smooths her skirt out and then looks around nervously. She glances at her watch and gives a strained smile to the host as she waits. **  
**

Her date was late.

She scans the crowd for the description of a short haired girl in a green blouse. 

She could feel her heart contract painfully, she hadn’t done this in a long time. A date, a real one.

She checks herself in her hand mirror for the fifth time and polishes her nails.

“Lapis?” A nasally voice addresses her from behind, “Lapis Lazuli?” The voice asks.

Lapis turns around quickly, and there she is, one five foot blonde with spiked hair. Lapis looks her over.

“You’re short.” She blurts out and then mentally slaps herself, oops.

“Yes.” She confirms flatly, “and you’re...blue.” Lapis touches her hair self consciously.

She tries to salvage her first impression, “Peridot, right?” She puts her hand out, “it’s nice to meet you.” She smiles fully, flashing her teeth and trying to stand up straight.

“Similar.” Peridot takes her hand and nods shortly.

Lapis tilts her head and doesn’t know what to make of this. Maybe it was a bad idea after all.

“Do you want to sit down then?” Peridot asks, looking somewhat flustered.

“Oh yes,” Lapis nods all too enthusiastically and internally chides herself, get a hold of yourself. She turns to the host.

“We’re here for a table.”

“Do you have a reservation?” The host sniffs.

“It should be under the name Jasper.” She was the one who set them up. For better or worse.

The host scans the list in a snippish manner, Lapis scowls, did he not like girls dating? Or maybe just Lapis’s hair and/or bird tattoo on her shoulder. People didn’t seem to like that.

“I can’t seem to find it.” He asserts, “sorry ladies.”

“What are you saying?” Peridot seemed like the type of girl to get annoyed easily, “let me see.” She boosted herself up behind the desk and scans the list.

“You can’t be over here miss!” He tries to push her away, but she’s persistent.

“Unbelievable!” Peridot threw her hands up when the host finally dislodged her, “she didn’t even make the reservation.”

“Well, that’s Jasper.” Lapis huffs and Peridot gives her a side glance. “We could always wait?” She also tries to salvage the whole night.

“It will be an hour.” The host interjects.

“Do you want to wait then?” Peridot addresses her.

“Um,” Lapis looked around, “hmm. Yeah, I suppose.” And then they could get to know each other, eat something, this could still be good.  
They sit down in the lobby and look straight ahead. Lapis taps her fingers on the couch, Peridot swings her legs and picks at the end of her sleeves. A brief silence descends.

“So!”

“So.” 

They both say at once as if it’s a choreographed.

Peridot clears her throat, Lapis goes red in the face.

“Where do you work?”

“Um, uh, an aquarium.” Lapis tries to sit up tall and look her in the eye.

“Really?” Peridot examines her.

“Yeah, I just got hired there straight out of college, recently.” She says quickly.

“Hmm.”

“Where do you work?”

“A startup tech company.” She puffs her chest out, “we just got funded but we already have a couple clients.” Lapis could almost laughs. Peridot was trying to impress her.

They lapse in a silence and look forward again.

“I can’t believe Jasper didn’t make the reservation.”

Lapis nods her head and rolls her eyes, “it was probably leg day.”

Peridot looks at her quizzically and tilts her head.

“You know,” Lapis pauses for effect, “because she’s  _running_  out of competency.”

Peridot pauses and then starts to chuckle, “pfftt,” She laughs, “that’s terrible.”  
Lapis exhales, she’d diffused the tension.

“ _Thigh_ ,” Lapis bounces her eyebrows up and down, “think it’s a tragedy. You’d think her legs were large enough.”

Peridot laughs and runs her fingers through her hair, “oh my God. No.”

“ _Femur_  you just have to ask.” Peridot looks at her, “femur? Like part of the leg.”

Peridot pushes her on the shoulder, “thank you, I almost didn’t get it.” She rolls her eyes. “I calf to say though, these are really are awful.”  
Lapis laughs, they bag on Jasper and her bad planning skills and may have made a bad joke or two.

It had been an hour and Lapis is fairly sure the host is not going to seat them at all.

“Hey,” Lapis finally says slowly, “do you want to get out of here?”

Peridot seems to think about it and then nods hesitantly, “where?”

Lapis shrugs, “just, out of here.”

“Okay.”

They get out of there and swing out of the fancy restaurant.

“How high are those heels?” Lapis asks blankly.

“Two inches. And yes, as you initially observed,” she says pointedly and Lapis blushes, “I am short.”

“Tch,” she bumps into her purposefully as they walk, “it suits you.”

“Hmph, it is what it is.” But she’s grinning.

They walk down the road in the dark, exchanging stories about bad dining experiences when Lapis spots a corn field.

“Ooh,” she says, “that’s the corn maze of the McCormick’s.” It was a local Halloween hot spot.

“The what?” Peridot arches an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah. Jasper said you were pretty new here.”

“What is it?”

“Here,” Lapis takes her hand and guides her to the maze. Peridot’s hand is hot and small and fits in hers like threaded knitting needles into yarran.

“How do we get in?” Peridot seemed skeptical of this.

“Like this!” Lapis pulls her into the corn and keeps walking.

“Ah!” Peridot soon complains about walking through the corn stalks and dirt, but they emerge onto a path soon enough.

“Now we just find our way out.” She announces releasing Peridot’s hand and placing them on her hips. “It’s fun.”

“I can’t see anything.” Peridot squints in the dark.

“Well it is supposed to be-”

“If you say blind date.”

“a  _blind_  date.”

“I hate you.” She grumbles.

Lapis leans down and whispers in her ear, “do you really?”

Peridot seems to shiver and she takes that as a no.

“Let’s just keep going left. You should always choose a direction and keep going that way.”

“Okay!’ Lapis says happily and lets Peridot lead her through the maze.

They were chatting about navigating things like this when something rustles in the corn.

“What was that?” Peridot stiffens.

“Uh,” Lapis knew sometimes they had Halloween workers in the fields, she was going to warn her when a mummy jumps out abruptly.

“Ah!” Peridot clutches to her, putting shoulder in an iron grip and saddling up next to her side.

Lapis was laughing until a second ghoul plunged out of the foliage and she jumped and buried her face into Peridot’s hair instinctively.

“Ooh~” The mummy rumbles at them.

“Knock it off,” Peridot thwaps him, recovering from the scare and this time grabs Lapis’s hand and leads her away. Lapis’s hand goes sweaty and she can still feel Peridot’s warm skin across her side. God, she really hadn’t done this in awhile.

“That was-”

“Something!” Lapis declares.

Peridot sighs. “something.”

  
They traverse the maze, several more “monsters” jump out at them and they instinctively hold onto each other and are holding hands tightly by the end. And it was a lot more physical contact on a first date than expected.

But they make it out of the maze, huffing, red in the face and at least smiling at each other.

They take a break by sitting down on some hay.

“That was…” Peridot pauses, “different.” But her mouth is upturned.

Lapis chuckles, “see? We don’t need a fancy restaurant to have a good time.”

“I guess so.” See says gently and Lapis’s heart skips a beat.

“Do you want some pumpkin pie?” She asks in a hurry.

“Huh?”

She points across the way to a small stand, “it’s really good here.”

“That sounds...nice.” She declares.

“Great!” Lapis hops up and jogs over to the stand. She buys two pumpkin pies and takes it over to Peridot who seemed embarrassed she was buying it for her.

“Thanks.” She says slowly,

“No problem.” She breaths.

She inspects the pie, arching an eyebrow, “Whip cream?”

“Oh. Sorry.” Lapis face falls, heart dropping.

“No!” Peridot seems to bark, “I love it!” Peridot stuffs the whip cream in her mouth in one big bite and tries to smile.

Lapis giggles, “you’re silly.”

“Says the girl who made leg jokes for 20 minutes.” 

She kicks her gently, “Eat your food...or I’ll  _calf_  to do it for you.”

“I already used that one!”

She laughs and eats more their pie.

“This is very good.” Peridot says when they’re done.

“Told ya,” She winks at her.

Peridot looks down at her hands and they finish, then Peridot’s eyes land on a smile party to the side of the carnival like Halloween setup.

“Oh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Old girlfriend?” She teases.

“Definitely not.” She looks at Lapis in a steady even way.

Lapis shifts under the gaze, “so?”

“A friend of mine’s cousin.” She points over, “it’s his birthday. Small world.”

“Let’s go over!”

Peridot thinks about it, she was so calculating, “yeah. Yeah. I should.” She expresses in a resigned tone.

“It’ll be fun.” They throw out the paper plates and make their over to the small group. Lapis hangs back while Peridot goes up to the crowd.

“Hi, Ned.” She smiles at a small kid in a striped shirt, Lapis likes the image.

He looks her up and down, “Peridot! You’re here…No one’s computer needs to be fixed though.”

Peridot groans and looks up at the sky, “say hi to Amethyst for me.” She grumbles and Lapis walks up next to her.

“Peridot,” The mother of the boy spots her, “so good to see you!” She approaches and smiles between them. “And who's this?”

“My,” Peridot gives her sidelong glance, “date.” She announces stiltedly. Lapis feels a warm feeling spread throughout her chest.

“Well, what a sweet place to have a date. Why don’t you join us?”

“Um,” Peridot obviously trying to back up.

“Do you want to do the pinata?” One of the kids invites.

“Sure we will.” Lapis eyes gleam, she was great at pinatas. Peridot looks hesitant.

“What a night.” She says.

Lapis glances at her, “I’m having a great time.”

Peridot blanches, “g-good.”

Lapis bites her lips nervously.  
They watch the kids try to smack a scarecrow pinata for a couple swings until a girl dressed in a witches costume volunteers Lapis.

“Okay, okay,” she says as she pushes her over. They completely blind fold her and it’s dark. 

“Spin her! Spin her!” They cry as she holds the stick and turns around in circles.

She definitely feels dizzy and hobbles around the area. She swings weakly at the empty space.

“You’re going the wrong way.” A voice chides her and places petite hands on her waist. Lapis almost stumbles to her knees, her hands are hot on her hips and she feels light and heavy all at once.

Peridot guides her to the pinata and releases her. Lapis gets two good smacks in and the kids cheer.

Lapis unties her blindfold and huffs, her breath puffs of white smoke in the chilled air, Peridot meets her eyes and it feels like the color red and rocket ships.

The party slowly winds down, they sing happy birthday and had to decline to have some sugar blasted cake.

Lapis says thank you and then she walks back over to Peridot who was already on the edge of the road ready to go.

“So, where to next?” She asks bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Well,” Peridot looks at her watch, “I can take you home.”

“Oh. Yeah, alright. Home.” Lapis was a little disappointed to go home, then again, she knew what happened when you got to the front steps at the end of dates.

It’s all she can think about when she guides Peridot back to her apartment, they make idle chatter and Lapis keeps glancing at her mouth. Her cheeks, the red of her lipstick, this was it.

They make it to her front steps.

“Oh, look at me, I’m home.” She announces, too soon she thinks. She clutches her bag and gives a weak smile.

Lapis shifts from foot to foot, she leans down, they stand in the middle of the road and Peridot’s eyes are wide.

“Lapis,” She breaths, “this was, this was.” She repeats. Lapis blinks rapidly, Peridot takes a step forward, “this was... _can I kiss you_?” It was one word.

Lapis can’t wait anymore and she grabs Peridot’s face and presses their lips together.

It’s light, it’s hot, her eyes are closed and the world is so very very small and dark. A dusty kiss of pumpkin pie and the feeling in her chest of tripping down a flight of stairs.

She deepens the kiss and leans forward, tasting her, embracing her, until a car horn starts honking at them.

“Love birds! I ain’t paying for a show.” He honks at them.

Lapis and Peridot, hand in hand, jump up her steps, “sorry!” She calls after the angry driver. He was already gone.

Peridot is looking at her like she was wearing a halo, “Lapis.” She gets her attention in a husky voice, Lapis shutters.

“Uh-huh.”

“This is your stop.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Lapis leans down and Peridot gives her a soft peck on the mouth.

“This was...thank you. I’m glad this was set up. You are very...nice and,” Peridot struggles with words, “pretty.”

Lapis can’t take it anymore, “call me!” She practically yells in her face and takes the steps two at a time, waving behind her frantically.

She runs upstairs and collapses on the door once she shuts it, she buries her red in face in her hands and giggles uncontrollably.

She might actually have to call up Jasper, give her a thank you card.


	13. La Petite Mort: The Last to Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something a little different. Warning: smut, death, the body

Hospital AU

The heart is the first to go. It pumps, 1, 2, 3, it pumps its hardest, 1, 2, 3, it wants to live.

The heart beats along to kissing too, like a dance, back and forth, and the rhythm of someone breathing, 1, 2, 3.

“This room should be empty.” She whispers, leaning on Peridot’s chest, they approach the third floor ‘napping’ room. It was surprisingly devoid of people at this early hour.

They push and pull on each other through the hall, mouth on mouth and Peridot grabbing her hand and yanking her figure through the entrance way.

“You have energy left.” Lapis observed wryly.

“I have a lot of things left.” Peridot answers in a hoarse voice.

Lapis leaned into her and pressed their foreheads together, “really?”

“No.” She answers truthfully, her hands still shaking slightly, “that was…tonight was,” She trails off, the human body has 1.5 gallons of blood in it. It can look like a lot more.

“I know.” She reassures. “Now kiss me, asshole.”

Peridot pushes their mouths together, hot, heady and all blitzkrieg with no style.

“Yesterday you hated me.” She breathed when they parted again.

Lapis shrugged. “Yesterday was yesterday. And today is now, and God I need _now_.”

Peridot chuckled, “you’re not making any sense.”

Lapis holds her head, “neither did today. Tonight. This.” She crushes their lips together and pushes Peridot up against the wall. “Take your scrubs off.”

Lapis puts her bag down and stands back cooly.

“Uh, just in front of you?”

“Do you, do you need me to leave and come back in?” She sounded a tad mocking.

Peridot scowled and threw her pale green scrubs off forcefully, standing in her sports bra she shed her pants quickly to reveal white classic underwear.

Lapis seems satisfied and kisses her again, holding her up against the wall, solid, bearing down like a bird of prey on a rabbit.

The kidneys fail in the human body first, the heart stops sending blood to the lower body, they seize up.

 The skin of a person will go stiff and blue at the fingertips when oxygen flow depletes.

And the brain goes last.

Lapis pauses, “what’s wrong?” She asks softly against her neck, her warm breath tickling Peridot's chin.

“What?”

“Your mouth stopped moving.”

“Oh. Nothing.” Lapis gives her a stern look, “I just, I never thought it would be like that. With so many people at once.”

Lapis shakes her head, she doesn’t seem to know what to say, instead she presses a sweet kiss into her lips that grows hungry and forceful.

The fear the seized Peridot for the last two hours flooded into her fingertips, into her tongue, into her groin. She grabbed Lapis’s waist, and then her shirt, throwing it off.

Lapis gasped but then it turned into a gentle laugh, “okay.”

They stare at each other, Lapis was bruised above her collarbone but was smooth and dark and shaped like a swan with human features.

Peridot couldn’t help but want to hold her, maybe eat her alive. 1, 2, 3 and the heart wants to live, 1, 2, 3, and it pumps blood, it goes to her mouth, her fingertips, her groin.

And she’s kissing her again, this time as they climb up onto the bunk beds. They roll on top of each other like dogs in heat.

Peridot laps the top of Lapis’s mouth and she trails her hands up and down Peridot’s sides.

Peridot groans as she cups her breast beneath her bra and then peppers small kisses all over her long neck.

“You make so many good noises.” She teases.

Peridot doesn’t respond and instead wiggles out of her own bra, “I’m sure you do too.”

“Rose Quartz says I’m the most vocal one in the operating room.”

Peridot shakes slightly, “good to hear.”

Lapis stabilizes her, feels real to her, her mouth on hers, hands on her hips and skin pressed against skin.

Lapis soon gets the rest of her clothes off and they are naked except for Peridot’s socks.

“And you’re keeping those on?” Lapis breaks the sexual miasma to comment.

“It’s cold. I read a study that said sex is better with socks on .”

Lapis breaks into a full on laugh, “nerd.” She pushes on her shoulder.

“I better be,” She hums to herself, “that’s my job.”

“You were damn good at it today.” Lapis says in husky voice, eyeing her like a gourmet appetizer. But Peridot could only think of ‘today’ and being ‘good’ at it.

 _The brain is the last to go._ As it starves for oxygen and blackness closes in, the electricity in the temples fade. The heart has already given out, and the counting in Peridot’s head is all that's left, 1, 2, 3 and 1, 2, 3. They’re gone.

Lapis notices she’s upset her. “Hey.” She hushes, “hey. It’s alright. They always said it would be like this.”

Peridot just shakes her head, she shouldn’t be emotional, that was dumb, she was dumb.

She presses herself into Lapis Lazuli instead, lips, hands, legs into her smooth crevices and hard edges. It was like a dance, hot in the summer heat and hot underneath her burning skin.

They were getting somewhere. Lapis finally works two fingers into the other girl and her breath hitches and the world becomes very small.

Her fingers work diligently and precisely, the fingers of a surgeon that cuts bone and weaves wounds back together.

In and out, 1, 2, 3 and Lapis is whispering soft nothings into her ear, “beautiful,” “lovely,” “come for me.”

Peridot sees colors and shapes and her brain fuzzes out like a television screen caught on static. The French call organisms “La Petite Mort” the small death. And the brain is the last to go.

Peridot feels herself shake and cum and see all the stars in heaven in Lapis’s eyes, God it was such a terrible world but at least she got to kiss pretty girls.

She made a small trail of kisses down Lapis’s stomach, she kisses every single one of her rib bones and tries not to imagine them collapsed and gasping for air, they want to live.

She kisses down past her intestines and kidneys which all fail together one by one, past her tuft of hair and beautiful hip joints and the V of her pelvis.

She tasted her and breathed her in and felt deep satisfaction with every gasp and plea of ‘more,’ ‘yes,’ ‘right there.’

She eats Lapis Lazuli out with tongue flicks and concentrated movements.

Lapis arches off the plastic bed and reaches a climax in a trail of biting teeth and the dance of Peridot’s tongue over her clit, she calls out someone’s name.

She comes down and motions for Peridot to crawl back up to her. Peridot obliges.

There are tears in Lapis’s eyes, she is laughing, “that was…” She sniffs, they were both somehow still thinking about death.

They kiss and reel and know there was no avoiding it. Lapis cries about the 10 car pileup that killed 9 people, 6 of which they treated.

Peridot tries not to join her but soon they are lying on top of each other, eyes wet and Lapis hated her yesterday. Now she was the only intern left Peridot wanted to be next to. The brain is the last to go.

Peridot falls asleep on top of Lapis, their hips and breasts and sweaty skin attached to each other like bricks and cement. Their heart beats chase each other through their chests, 1, 2, 3…

“What are you two doing!?” A shrill voice cuts through Peridot’s dream about chips and water wings.

Lapis mumbles something back to her before Peridot even recognizes what’s going on.

“Oh why, I ought to, you’re both naked!” Their resident Pearl squawks at them.

“Like you and Dr. Amethyst don’t,” Lapis makes a lewd gesture, “in here.” And Peridot reflects on why she generally tried not associate with Lapis Lazuli.

“If you do not get dressed in ten seconds I will have you walk down these halls naked!” She exclaimed red in the face and Peridot jumps to her feet and gathers her scrubs.

“Go, go.” The resident said like an army general, and herded them out of the small room that smelled like sex and chemicals. The whole hospital smelled like chemicals.

“That was fun.” Lapis smiled as if she hadn’t just cried her eyes out a half hour ago, “let’s do it again.” Her back disappeared behind a corner. Peridot feels dumb, her mouth is dry and she has to get back to work. She has six more hours, and her feet are the first to go.


	14. I Thought You Might Say That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sort-of parody of that soul mate AU idea that floats around about having a tattoo of the first words your soul mate will say to you somewhere on your body. Warning for language

You take a burning sip of clear liquid out of shot glass, it goes down hard.

“Lapis!” Someone comes up from behind you and almost choke, “come meet my husband honey!”

You groan into the glass and rearrange the mask on your face, “be right there Lacey.”

You are already sick of this themed party, or more specifically sick of being alone at these themed work parties. Screw your no show soul mate.

_Maybe you should just show the whole party your ass?_

Your name is Lapis Lazuli and you have the very unfortunate circumstance of having your first words your soul mate ever say be ‘hey, I like the mole on your ass.’ All in lime green gel pen text.

You already hate her.

One day your soulmate would say those words printed on your back (the ones about her butt mole) and you’d know it was her, but until then you were a lonely loser.

…Who came up with this system? You’d like to have a few choice words them, mostly involving, ‘fuck,’ and ‘you.’ After, the worried thoughts of what if it’s not a ‘her?’ Or they were an asshole, or worse, not even an asshole?

You’re cursing into the drink until you see a magnificent shadow crosses your path.

“Hello!” A bright voice infiltrates your haze of fermented potato.

“Be right there.” You grouse at what you guess is your coworkers minion.

“Oh, uh, I don’t mean to interrupt.”

You turn to the unfamiliar melody of voice, only to freeze in place. “Mrs. Quartz!” You yelp.

It was your boss, and not just your boss, your boss, boss.  _The boss._

You gulp and wish there were more vodka in your system of course, “You’re not interrupting,” you squeak, “I was, just uh,” You shoot out your right hand, “nice to meet you Mrs. Quartz.”

She gives lovely tinkling laugh that fills you with reverence, did she want to see your ass? Rumor was after all, she had two soulmates.

“Lapis, correct?” She takes your hand delicately.

“Uh, yeah, how did you know?”

“I make a point of knowing all my employees names.” She explains graciously. 

“I’m a temp.” You say dumbly, scratching your head.

“And I hear you’re doing a great job.” You feel all the blood in your body rush to your face.

“Thanks!” You squeak, want to see my ass? It has a mole on it, I call ‘loveless’ because it determines my love life and I have shitty taste in anime…She was turning away, “I mean, great policy miss. Name memorization,” You throw up two dorky thumbs up and you can feel your dignity hot-diggity dying.

She chuckles again, “it was great meeting you. I will see you around I hope.”

You nod so vigorously you expect pez’s to start shooting out of your neck. Rose Quartz leaves you in peace, and you thump on the free bar with one hand.

“Can I get another shot?” You call into the well, the annoyed bartender shoots you another vodka. You down it in one gulp. Your insides feel like fire, but that was sort of the point.

“I like your wings.” Ugh, could no one leave you alone with your one true soul mate? A cold glass of ‘fuck-me-up.’

“Thanks. I grew them myself.” You think you recognize the voice.

“The styrofoam and plastic really brings out your personality.”

You chuckle, “you from HR?” You ask as you turn to face a smaller women in a purple gorilla costume, “and, uh, what are?”

“King Kong’s hot cousin. Scoot over, I need a drink.”

You tilt your head at her, she looked familiar, “do I know you?”

She smirks at you through the purple glitter, “last work party.” She jumps up onto the seat next to you. “Here, lemme jog your memory,” She clears her throat, “CHUG, CHUG, CHUG.”

You hold the bridge of your nose and squeeze, the ghosts of hangovers past already shouting ‘boo!’ into your noggin, “Right. Yeah. Ametryst.”

“‘Thyst, but thanks for remembering.” She bangs on the bar for a beer for herself.

“So, you having fun yet?”

“Not as much fun as that Christmas party.”

“I’m still not recovered from that.”

“Party animal.” She claps you on the shoulder. “You should come up to management sometime.”

“Right. When a temp rises several positions in a fortnight, that'll be the day.”

Amethyst shrugs, “Not what I meant. But it’s not as hard as it seems. I made it.”

You bite your tongue on any rumors about nepotism, and end up nodding haphazardly as you slog down more vodka. The Russian fairy’s filling your brain as the magic takes over.

Magic or ‘brain numbing’ poor life decisions 101.

They start talking about management and work, she makes a few off color jokes about Rose's assistant and you start to have a relatively better time, in fairy wings and all.

Finally, as most conversations do, you land on the topic of Soulmate words.

“All I’m saying is that what if the person is deaf? How would make sense to get your kid signed up for this program?”

“I hear they get sign language hand gestures,”

“What?”

“Yeah. I comes in all languages, even heard some guy got his words in Wing Dings. Hand, mailbox, mailbox, sparkle sign.”

You snort, “now that’s cruel.”

She blows air out of her nose, “mine is in rouge script.” She stairs down the neck of her Heineken, “What a tool.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Mine is in gel pen. Lime green.” Amethyst blinks at you a couple times, and then starts giggling.

“Really?” You nod, she gleefully starts laughing, you consider getting up and kicking her. “What’s it say?” She guffaws.

“Well, if you laughed at that…” You throw a cautious look, “let’s just say if I was gonna find her tonight someone would have to pants me on stage.”

Amethyst snorts and then looks at her phone as it buzzes, “one sec Blue.”

Lapis looks Amethyst over, “wait, how would you feel about pantsing me on stage?” You sit up straight and tap her shoulder, “it could be fun.”

“Sure. Maybe.” Amethyst looks distracted, “management wants to talk, could you hold onto my phone for a sec? My costume doesn’t have pockets.”

“Gonna be long?”

“Don’t worry,” she straightens her costume and dusts off some of the glitter, “I’ll take your pants off later. Sit tight.” She winks and you throw what’s left of your drink on her.

She laughs it off and leaves the bar. You’re feeling like another round, and then maybe a jog into the neighborhood strip club. Being a stripper could help your chances, seeing a stripper could lift your _spirits_. You chortle, cause you drinking spirits.

You are reveling in your own wit when the phone buzzes softly in your hands.

All it says is ‘Annoying IT Girl’ and a ‘been there done that’ note on the side. You lift an eyebrow up at it curiously.

The text just reads, ‘who were you sitting with?’

The glow your brain prompts you to respond, a little prank on a prankster couldn’t hurt? Also, better to do something then be hit on by dudebros in suits and their one flimsy piece of toilet paper over their eyes they call a mask.

There was no lock code, you text back quickly, ‘a cute girl ;)’

‘You’re dressed as a gorilla, haven’t got a chance. And that girl already looks drunk and ready to give out 50 shades of pain. Save me from any more IT DnD talk D:’

‘Lmao, been watching?’

‘I’ve been bored out of my mind, and then I lost sight of you, so no, where are you now? I’ll come to you,’

‘nah, stay there, I got called to a meeting.’ That was true.

‘You really think you’ll get lucky with drunky miss blue hair?’ She sounded annoyed, you can already see this prick’s face screwing up as she reads it.

‘jelous ;)’

‘are you drunk? Cute girls I thought weren’t your thing, only into angry pink secretaries who you swear said your words.’ Oh.

‘Uh, yeah, just kidding. Can’t blame a girl for shopping tho.’

‘….’ is all you get next, ‘who is this?’

‘heh, you caught me. What’s your name?’

‘Peridot. You?’

‘Lapis.’ She responds, ‘so, cute girl huh?’

‘So, 3 shots in under an hour huh?’ You laugh out loud at reading that, forcing you to cover your mouth when people start to stare.

‘so, nerdy IT parties?? Dork.’

‘You're never having a good time until you discuss what cutie mark your ponysona would have..."

'lmao. Mines an angry hornet. Comes I'm always horny :0'

'Wooow.'

'Amethyst would have laughed.' 

'She would. Where is Amethyst? You didn’t seduce and/or kill and/or bore her did you?’

‘At a meeting w/management like I said, idk about what, this place is always in crisis mode.’

‘….last week they told me during lunch we had to throw out that hoagie and get IGF on the phone or get fired.’

You snicker again, ‘tell me about it, Ima temp and nothing’s been more high strung.’

‘a temp?’

‘Yeha. Since December.’

‘And were at uh, the Christmas party?’

‘That was me. And yes, I did find Sandra Bullock eventually, and no, licorice flavored body shots aren’t worth it :P’

She doesn’t reply for a really long time, you consider dropping the phone off and finding a more engaging co-worker, but the phone buzzes when you start kicking the stool next to you.

‘what kind of loser….’

‘what?’

‘….’ you roll your eyes, but she texts back, ‘licorice body shots?’

‘Don’t even get me started, I'm still washing that taste out of my mouth. licorice pie on the other hand...I can get into’

‘As pie?? Gross :6’

‘you want to fight???’

‘some guy is trying to talk to 12 O’Clock.’

‘thx. I’ll shake em off.’ You scare away a guy in a pair of devil horns with a GUESS WHOSE GENERA TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE into the cellphone.

‘I see you know how to flare up.’

‘:)’

‘So, what’s with the wings?’

‘Ima a water fairy.’

You start to text this girl back and forth as the night progresses, right up until several other dudebros approach with a ‘you must be so creative to make that,’ and a ‘pretty girls should be dancing.’

You ward them off and even challenge one to a drinking contest, the girl at the other end of the line talks you out of it.

‘Geez, you don’t want to end up in the hospital.’

You grin up, hoping she can see you lighting up, ‘you’re not a winner until the ambulance is one its way.’

‘You’re a headcase.’

‘Your icon on her phone is you screaming into a headset with the caption ‘no chill’’

‘It’s a quirk.’ You’re smiling again.

‘hey, you want to meet? Your first text was my fight soul mate words.’

‘fight soul mate…’

‘Remember the pie? It’s the first words they’ll say to get you to fight.’

‘Sorry, I don’t want to brag but I’ve beat Mortal Combat several times.’

‘Pfft, nerd, you’re going down’ you send a little thumbs down sign and then stand up. The phone goes off just as you get up to leave, you glance at the screen.

‘you don’t remember me do you?’

‘what?’

‘last Christmas party, I wasn’t sure it was you or where you went, but you said, and I quote, “fucking hell, it’s cold out—-look at that bird!!” and then fell over into the snow when pointing at some fancy bird.’

‘That’s very specific. What’s up?’

‘…’ she ellipses and you feel like elispseing out, ‘I’m by the fountain.’ It came with a picture of a girl in a green mask and lopsided grin. She wore a blouse and pair of cat ears over a bow tie.

You blink, some words peek out from under the hem of her collar, they end with ‘that bird!’ your heart speeds up, you hold your breath.

You get up and start jogging to the other end of the venue.

A girl in green and cat costume waves at you, she opens her mouth but you shake your head vigorously.

“No!” You run until eyes of half of the room are on you, you plant you feet a few feet from Peridot and turn around very rapidly and moon the waiting crowd. A woman screams, people laugh, you don’t care.

You pull your pants back up and run up to Peridot, your rational brain tells you to say ‘hi’ and ‘how are you’ the fuzzy part of your brain throwing fireworks shouts KISS.

You’re gonna sue that asshole one day.

You kiss, the crowd still gaping at your butt and this complete stranger pawing at your waist. You pull away.

“Hey,” She pulls away, staring at you softly, “I like the mole on your ass.” She finally breathes out.

You laugh, “I thought you’d say that.”

She rolls her eyes and you laugh again, what a dumb system.


	15. Stranger's Christmas

It was a very odd night for someone with a lot of time on her hands and no idea what to expect, the type of night you tell your kids about or think about at strange times in the middle of a test.

Lapis woke up to the sound of frantic knocking.

She blinked open her eyes and shivered violently, it was freezing.

The knocking continued.

“Who is it?” She called from her nest of blankets and pillows.

“Oh! So someone _does_ live in this building, ugh.” Comes an unfamiliar voice.

Lapis tilts her head to the side and forces herself to crawl out into the chilled air, she shivers and wraps her closest comforter tight around her shoulders.

She shuffles to the door and peers out the door hole. It’s too dark to make anything out in the hall.

“Hello?” Lapis rubs her eyes as she calls through the door, wondering if she just hallucinated this.

“Hi.” A plain voice responds.

“What do you want?” Lapis tried to ask not-too-bluntly.

“I’m not a robber. I just have a few questions.”

“That sounds like something a robber says.”

“Trust me, I know no one in this building has anything to steal.”

Lapis laughed and leaned up against the door, “okay, but who is this?”

“Peridot. I live two doors down from you.”

“Oh!” Lapis blinked twice, “the one that yelled at Tim.”

“Tim knew his music was too fucking loud.”

Lapis laughs again despite herself and places her hand on the handle of the door.

“What is it you want Peridot from two doors down?”

“An explanation. For why it’s as cold as satan’s jugular and trying to turn me into a piece of the smithsonian known as women frozen in ice.” She ranted.

Lapis tentatively pulled the door an inch open, “It is pretty fricken cold.” She commented from inside the room.

A girl in two sweaters and a messy ponytail stares back at her, her orb like green eyes glow in the dark and look Lapis up and down.

“Ah, so you’ve accepted I’m not here to make off with whatever pairs of socks and heaters you have.”

Lapis snorted, “you think I have half of those things.”

Peridot gave her a sideways smiles, “so, neighbor, I’ve seen you talking to old women Jenkins,” their landlady, “would you maybe know where she is? And yes, I have tried her apartment and her office.”

Lapis shrugs, “dunno. I think she said something about going to see her family for the night? That’s my guess.”

Peridot crosses her arms and blows her bangs out of face, “perfect. Her and everyone else.”

Peridot messages the bridge of her nose, Lapis shudders from the cold and wraps her blanket tighter around her.

“I take it we’re the only ones left on the floor?”

“Only ones in the building more like.” Peridot grumbles, it was a student building and almost everyone left for the holidays. “I would call an electrician, but as you might realize,” she gestures to around her.

“It’s Christmas eve.”

“And the middle of the night.”

Lapis squares her shoulders off and sighs deeply, “and here we are stuck in the pit of a nature’s kinky frozen-dungeon.”

Peridot grins at her a gives a clunky laugh, “merry Christmas to us.”   
  
Lapis looks up her up and down, “you going anywhere?”

Peridot’s face contorts in on itself like her entire face ate a sour lemon, she shakes her head ‘no.’

Lapis steps aside, “I have a mini-heater in the back if you want to huddle around it likes it’s the 1930s and the Great Depression.”

Peridot looks at her very slowly, mulling it over warily, Lapis rolls her eyes, “if you’re not a robber I swear I’m not a murderer.” She tightens her blanket on shoulders, “just a stranger on a cold night…who is _also_ alone on Christmas.” She flashes her blue eyes up at Peridot.

Peridot shrugs mildly and strolls into the room, “it’s Lapis right?”

Lapis gives a small smile as she closes the door behind them, “yeah, how’d you know?”

Peridot looks around her tiny apartment and sniffs, “I pay attention.”

They sit around her heater and chat like they weren’t two loners in a sea of festivity.

Peridot was a weird girl. She spoke carelessly like a ditch digger throwing dirt every which direction, spiky and full of little barbs of complex simplicity.

Childish and excitable but Lapis found herself a little transfixed on the girl.

She liked Moutain Dew, had been an electrical engineering major until she switched to animation and computer science. She moved here by accident, had no real patience for much and liked the color green. Huh.

By eleven they had gotten out Lapis’s pumpkin pie schnapps and playing a very wild game of Speed with Lapis’s half deck of cards.

“Got you again!” The strange girl chanted as she laid the cards down and cheered.

Lapis snickered, “this is barely even how you play.”

“Come one, come on, loser does a shot.”

Lapis takes another sickly sweet drink and they play until they are lying on her floor staring up at the ceiling and trying to get as close to the mini heater as possible.

“Okay, question two,”

“What was question one?” Peridot mumbles to her as they start in on a new game.

“It was on why you moved here.”

“Oh. Right. School and stuff.”

Lapis grins at her from the side. “Yeah. Now, two, favorite trip?”

“To the moon.” She crowed, Lapis huffed.

“Lying isn’t part of the game.”

“It could be. Probably better than anything real.” She sighed.

Lapis snorted, “it’s almost twelve.”

They scoots closer, a little tipsy, a little alone, and a night for people to have somebody.

The clock chimes, Peridot heaves a sigh, “Merry Christmas.”

Lapis leans in and kisses her on the cheek, “sorry, it’s so cold I guess.”

Peridot rapidly blinks several times in a row, “what was that for?”

Lapis blushes, getting a hold of herself and inching back, “it’s that time of year. For people to have people. And gifts.” Her eyes go unfocused.

Peridot leaned in and kissed her on the mouth, chapped and breathless lips on lips, “to being alone then, stranger.”

She kisses her again, in the dark, in the light, in the distant warmth of little metal contraption in a sea of chilled air, “to being alone.”

They held hands and talked until the sun came up.

She didn’t see her again, not like that, not together in the strangest ways of finding comfort at the end of the freezing world. It was an odd, good with a smile and strangers hand.


	16. The Short of It

Lapis crosses her arms and looks down on the absurd scene before her.

“What are you wearing?” She asks flatly.

Peridot peaks up at her, her outerwear being a brilliant green boxers with little faces on them shaped like raindrops.

“Shorts.” Peridot answers briefly, “obviously, I normally wouldn’t indulge in such things, but Steven was very…persuasive in gifting me these human ‘culture’ of ‘clothes.’” She looked at them intently and fiddled with the ends.

Lapis frowned harder, “well.” She purses her lips, “they’re dumb.”

Out of the corner of her eye Lapis spots Steven giving her a patented ‘be nice’ and ‘at least try to warm up to her,’ look in his eye. She pretends she doesn’t see it.

“They are a gift.” Peridot gives her a sidelong grimace, “not that you’d know anything about accepting gifts.”

Lapis rolls her eyes pointedly, “what? The gift of a prison cell?”

They lean in and glare into each other’s eyes like barracuda’s circling each other, though Peridot is more hesitant, still pleading in her eyes for something from Lapis. Something.

Lapis is interrupted mid-growl.

“Break it up you two.” Garnet strolls over from the kitchen and picks both Peridot and Lapis up by the scruff and holds them apart.

“She started it.” Peridot pouts in midair.

“She has terrible taste.” The fight almost escalates but Lapis is told to go into her corner and wait to ‘cool’ down.

She grumbles to herself and traces flowers into the wall with her fingertip.

//

Lapis can’t stop thinking about those shorts.

Peridot had become incensed, eyes following the green fabric and catching on the crinkles and folds of a simple piece of cloth, Peridot’s little legs sprouting out of it like reeds.

It was ridiculous.

They were sitting, watching the TV when Lapis can’t _not_ bring it up again, “gems don’t wear cloth.”

“Or maybe they shouldn’t wear a bad attitude.” Peridot leers at her.

Lapis’s hands impulsively surge forward, she grasps onto the waistband.

“Hey!” Lapis tries to tear them off, enough was enough. “Steven!” Peridot calls for the small boy.

Lapis pulls harder and Peridot struggles against her.

“ _Oof_ ,” Peridot pushes on her face and manages to kick her in the stomach.

“Steven!’ Peridot calls again, but no one comes.

Lapis dives forward and they tumble flat to the floor, Peridot uses her momentum to flip them over.

Peridot lands gracelessly on her chest and Lapis scrambles underneath her.

“Ha!” She triumphantly holds her hands above her head, Lapis’s eyes go wide, her pulse speeding through her gem.

She lights up from head to toe, Peridot leans down and their eyes meet like it’s the first time their irises ever worked.

Lapis relaxes against the floor, Peridot’s cheeks heat up, the stillness stretches on like taught violin strings played in the highest note.

Peridot jumps to her feet and backs up, “don’t touch my shorts.” She mumbles.

Lapis for once bites on her tongue, she just sits right back up and holds herself steady, refusing to reply.

Peridot retreats somewhere deeper into the house, the TV flickers before Lapis’s eyes and she pulls her knees to her chest.

//

Okay, either the shorts had to go, or Lapis did. This was getting absurd, it had been days and Lapis still hadn’t trained herself to look away.

And it was getting worse.

Faces like almonds stared at her in blank empty eye sockets, ‘aliens’ surrounded by mocking bright green against lighter green skin.

Lapis wrinkles her nose at every day Peridot keeps them on. It had been exactly seven.

It was no surprise Lapis perks up like a suddenly watered sunflower when Peridot walked out with bare legs.

“Where are your shorts?” Lapis says before she can hold the words behind her teeth.

Peridot blinks at her, Lapis was not the engaging-you type at that time, “Pearl said this ‘hike’ could perhaps messy. I decided against risking damaging them.” Peridot answers in a bored tone.

“Oh!”

“Hurry up.” Amethyst burst into the living space, “that mountain isn’t going to climb itself!”

Lapis wrinkles her nose, “on second thought, I’ll stay here.”  
  
Amethyst gives her a look, “you’ll miss a gem artifact.” She punches the air, “and some action.”

She shakes her, Peridot narrows her eyes at her suspiciously. The gems get on the warp pad and she waves them off anyway.

“Bye~” She sings with a stretched smile across her face. They blue light of the transport fades and she is immediately on her feet.

“Now.” She swivels her head around, “Where is it?”

She starts going through the place one couch cushion at a time, through the cupboards, through the fridge.

She even rummages through the trash, until finally, she sees a slip of fabric peaking out from underneath a pile of Steven’s extra shirts.

“Aha!”

“Does it really you bother you so much?”

“Ah!” Lapis jumps as Peridot appears behind her, hands on her hips, looking exasperated.

Lapis’s face heats up, “what? Why are you here?” Peridot just leans forward.

“Try them on.”

Lapis juts her chin forward, she wasn’t going to give in so easy. “I’m getting rid of these.”

“Just try them on.”

Lapis was even more annoyed that Peridot had a reasonable tone.

She stands up, “I’m going to jump in the ocean with them.”

Peridot shakes her head, “I’ll tell on you.”

“Whatever.”

“Put them on! You’ll see.”

Lapis huffs and then delicately examines the pair of ‘shorts’ in front of her. “You really like them?”  
Peridot nods hesitantly after a long stillness.

Lapis turns around so she can’t see her face, she slowly, one leg at a time, bunches up her dress and puts the shorts on.

“This is ridiculous.”

“They are cool.” Peridot argues.

Lapis puts them on and then twirls. “They are… something.” She approaches the mirror and stares at herself, the green didn’t match her gem, they were better on Peridot. She doesn’t say that.

Instead, she snickers, “you know, Yellow Diamond gems always had the worst fashion sense.” It came out surprisingly friendly.

“Nu-uh, we don’t wear stupid flowey capes is what we do. Don’t those get caught on things?”

Lapis laughs a little, “only if you’re bad!”

She takes another examination of the shorts, she’s tempted to give them back, but that would mean reconciliation.

“Steven has more.” Peridot announces.

“These are fine.” Lapis gives a mischievous grin.

“No. Those are mine.”

Lapis shrugs, “or not.”

“As in _mine_.” Peridot dives at her, Lapis holds her at bay and laughs.

“We could both wear them at once!”

Peridot blinks at her in surprise, taken back by Lapis being silly.

Lapis blushes, “I mean…after I, um, destroy them.”

Peridot pulls at the fabric and Lapis goes back to resisting.

They dance around until Peridot gets one leg of the boxers off her, Lapis wrestles with her anyway until they are both worn out. They huff and finally watch the shorts crumple to the ground in a heap.

They pant, “okay.” She looks up at the ceiling. “Truce. No shorts are worth this effort.”

Peridot eyes grow large, “t-truce?” She repeats.

Lapis looks away, “not like that.”

“Truce!” Peridot pumps her arms in the air, “ _neheheh!_ ”

Lapis folds her arms and pouts, “I wouldn’t say-”

Peridot juts her hand out, “you can have this pair of shorts. Truce.”

Lapis’s breath catches in her throat, “that’s not what I want.”

Peridots tilts her to the side, “what do you want?”

Lapis sits up straighter, “nothing!” She covers her face, “Truce.” She quickly laces their fingers together and holds on, assuming that was the procedure.

“Oh…” They’re hands lower, Peridot goes surprisingly a darker green, but she doesn’t take her hand away.

They both look straight ahead and don’t say anything.

“Have you seen Camp Pining Hearts? On the rudimentary entertainment box I mean.” Peridot finally asks after the breathless quiet.

Lapis uses her other hand to grab the trousers, “all I’ve seen is some sort of breakfast food that cries.” She says absently.

Peridot keeps their hands together as she flips the TV on and her entire body almost vibrates with sudden excitement. New prey.

“Look at Pierre and Percy!” She demands as the show flickers on.

“Oh boy,” Lapis gives her a deadpan.

“You’ll notice the superior abilities of certain campers, and pay attention to the opening, it tells who is who in the hierarchy…”

Lapis complains and jeers at the TV, but they stay close, the word truce rings between Lapis’s ears like bells, just as she puts the shorts on and teases Peridot. A truce.


	17. Pranks and Poolwater

“I need you out of those clothes!”

“What? No.” Peridot reels back as her blue haired friend approaches her, fast and eyes darting around.

“Come on.” Lapis was dancing from foot to foot, she grabbed at Peridot’s hoodie sleeve.

“You can’t have my clothes Lazuli.” Lapis paws at her zipper and she pushes her back.

“It goes to a good cause.” She says nervously as she glances at the door, “namely helping me avoid getting my ass kicked.”

Peridot snickers. “Then I’m really _not_ giving it.”

“You really want me to have to have to fight Jasper in the middle of the pool room?”

Peridot looks to the door, another class would be in there in any moment.

“Well, what did you do to her?”

“Uh,” Lapis makes an offended noise. “How dare, I am nothing but upstanding.”

“Okay, better question, what haven’t you done to her?”

“Harmless pranks!” She exclaims, the sound of footsteps echo from the nearby hallway. “Fart noises during class presentations are good for the soul.”

Peridot is laughing now, “you are something else Lazuli.”

“My kidney’s are in major danger.” She reaches for Peridot’s front, “she’ll kick the piss out of me.”

“You can’t switch clothes with me.”

“It’ll be fun. A game of cover for your crush.”

“Crush?” Peridot’s face explodes in color, tinting red all over.

“Peri, I will pay you.” She starts unzipping her. “It’s just a jacket.

Peridot rocks forward and then they are tussling, hand over hand as she tries to get into her clothes.

“I’m not wearing anything under–whoa.”

Peridot loses her footing and topples backwards, she drags Lapis down with her, Lapis, who was in the process of undressing her.

Luckily, her head doesn’t hit concrete, just pool water, she is dunked halfway into the water, then Lapis yanks her up, tilting them the other direction.

“Don’t lean forward.” She instructs, but their legs tangle together and they fall over the other way, Peridot’s legs catching on Lapis’s school skirt and dragging it down.

“Why don’t you wear an undershirt?” Lapis exclaims as her hoodie falls away to reveal her green bra.

“What are you two doing?” Peridot’s eyes flash up as the gym teacher roars at them from the door.

Peridot looks between them.

Lapis is underneath her, red in the face as she stares at her chest, and Peridot straddling her with an unzipped hoodie, not to mention Lapis with her skirt halfway slipping off her hips.

“This isn’t what it looks like!”

Jasper and Freshman 3rd period gym class turn around the corner. One of them covers another’s eyes, a tiny boys looks like he might faint.

“This isn’t what it looks like.” Lapis repeats and Jasper bursts into laughter at them.

“Woo-hoo,” someone whistles, and Lapis growls underneath her, Peridot somehow manages to stop herself from flipping him off. 

She settles on zipping up and lifting Lapis’s skirt back up to her hips.

They stand up in humiliation.

"Ladies," The gym teacher tuts at them and then marches them to the principal’s office.

“The whole school is going to think we’re dating.” Lapis mumbles to herself.

Peridot shoves her hands into her pockets and stares at her shoes, “well, maybe if you asked me out already.”

Lapis turns around in one swift motion.

“You two should learn some self-control,” the gym teacher turns on them, warning in her voice as they stop.

“Is that a yes?” Lapis says with bated breath, Peridot glances at the ceiling.

“It’s exactly what it sounds like.”

“Aw, yes!” Lapis cheers with her arms in the air. The teacher grabs her by the arm and they keep walking.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I can’t–”

“Mrs. Twist will see you now for inappropriate touching.” They have a very awkward conversation with the principle.

But detention is so how much better than most. 

Lapis sends her endless messages. At least three have hearts and one is just a doodle of them screaming ‘it’s not what it looks like!’ While the freshman gawk at them.

She gives Lapis her hoodie the next day. It’s a present.


	18. Nightlight Hearts

Peridot didn’t sleep, she didn’t see the point, she tried to explain this concept to Steven when he started to rub his eyes and yawn.

“Organic life wastes so much of it’s time,” she asserts, “between eating and sleeping and everything else. No wonder you haven’t conquered the universe. You squander your time!”

“That’s nice Peridot.” Steven says as he crawls into bed and Peridot is forced to turn off their strange show on Crying Breakfast food that also happened to be friends.

Peridot huffs at him as he covers himself in blankets and she wanders into the living room to find something to do, “it’s not like I want a room of my own or anything.” She grumbles and paces back and forth in the dark, making her footsteps as quiet as possible for Steven.

“It’s not like I need one. I have the bathroom and a barn-oof.” She runs into a dark lump on the ground. “Hey!” She exclaims as softly as she can.

Two luminescent eyes flit up at her, blue and iridescent like cerulean moon’s. Peridot freezes and backs up a little.

It was Lapis Lazuli, their newest addition, on the floor and seemed to be crawling around on her knees.

“What are you doing?” She finally asks, as she observes the gem sitting mutely on the floor.

Lapis looked up at her, the confident gem, who may or may not hate her proverbial guts, blinked. “It’s dark.” She whispers.

It was strange to hear her voice.

Peridot bites her lip, “yes... This planet has rotations around a sun that predisposes it to face away from its light source at certain times within a 24 hour period.” Lapis’s mouth becomes a thin line, “pretty useless if you ask me.” She finishes shortly, itching the back of her neck, “homeworld’s uninterrupted light was a lot more efficient.”  
She didn’t know why she kept talking but Lapis wasn’t saying anything back.

Lapis laughed hoarsely and Peridot jumped from the noise, “it wasn’t dark on homeworld. Yeah.” She confirms and droops a little, her head hanging.

Peridot didn’t know what to do, “are you, uh, you know?” She cringes at herself and bends down to look at Lapis on her level anyway.

She flicks Peridot in the forhead, “ah.” Peridot rubs the spot with her hands. 

“I’m fine.” Lapis asserts and Peridot raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” Peridot is close enough to see the blue gems hands shaking.

“It was just, it was not really that dark in the mirror.” Lapis says thoughtfully, she curls up on herself, “not really. Grey.”

Peridot watches as Lapis stares at the ceiling, and it finally clicks in Peridot’s head, “oh! You don’t like the dark.”  
  
Lapis’s eyebrows furrow and she huffs, “not that! It’s just…you can’t see anything, and then,” she seems to struggle for words and then her arms relax against her sides, “okay. I don’t like the dark.”  
  
“Earth is pretty weird.” Peridot comments while folding her arms across her chest.

Lapis nods and then buries her face in her hands. Peridot sits down next to her, careful for their shoulders not to touch.

She takes a deep breath, “you know I don’t have a weapon or anything, but…” She looks around, “I can do this.”

She makes the gem on her forehead light up in a white fluorescent light, illuminating the living room (and hopefully not waking Steven).

Lapis gasps softly, “see?” Peridot says, “you can see now.”  
  
Lapis chuckles lowly and leans on Peridot, “don’t tell anyone about this then, k?” She says in a weary tone.

“Can I tell them you don’t hate me?” Peridot asks wryly.

“Don’t push it shorty.” Lapis nudges her gently, Peridot frowns and Lapis shakes her head.

“But, I mean, it only makes sense to inform our teammates of reconciliation-”

“Joking.” Lapis interrupts, “I can joke you know. That’s a thing I can do. And besides hate is,” she looks at her hands, “I’m over it. All of it. So you can tell them whatever you want. Tell them Lapis turned into a dog and did a dance. Just,” she lifts her head, “don’t tell them I’m afraid of the dark.”

Peridot nods slowly, “okay. Alright. Yeah. Deal.”

Lapis laughs under her breath, “deal.” They shake in some sort of human expression.  
  
They sit side by side and Peridot keeps her light on until Lapis’s head is on her shoulder, “do you want to sleep?”

Lapis shakes her head, “I don’t like the dreams.”  
  
Peridot nods to herself and tries to stay as still as possible and lets the silence fluff the air like a powder. Lapis was warm and Peridot holds her breath.

She doesn’t seem to shake anymore though, and when the light curves around the edge of the horizon her face is stretched in a smile she covers with her fingers.

Lapis slips away sometime around dawn and Peridot can only sit on the floor and try to think it all over.

“Steven!” Peridot jumps as Lapis comes into the room, smiling, and Steven climbed down the stairs. “I made you breakfast!”  
  
Steven blinked slowly, “really? Oh wow, you’ve never done that before.

Lapis beamed and shrugged over something brown and covered in motor oil, “I’m feeling pretty good this morning.”  
  
Peridot isn’t sure what that translated to, but she promises to keep the light on every night if she has to from then on


	19. Three Times

The first time was a disaster, figures, Lapis should have seen that one coming like a baseball to the face. **  
**

Garnet said she could bow out, but Lapis was stubborn: she would do what she promised to do.

“Are sure you two want to try fusion like this?” Pearl asks as she tapped her fingers together tentatively, she had become protective of Lapis since Lapis flew into that tree and almost cracked herself (long story).

Lapis shrugged, Peridot put her cans on her feet and Lapis eyed her.

“I bet we could find my limb enhancers!” Peridot crows and Lapis’s mouth goes sideways.

Amethyst snorts, “who wants to bet they make a cats-eye? Beryl? A Huge blue nerd-quartz?”  
  
Garnet shakes her head, “no one can know until they form.”  
  
Steven walks up between them, stars in his eyes, and closes their hands over one another, “this will be good! You guys can be better friends.”

Lapis frowns ever so slightly but then leans over and ruffles his mess of black curls.

“Sure.” She assures.

“Are you uh, will you be okay?” Peridot asks after clearing her throat a couple times.

Lapis stretches her arms to the sky, “don’t worry. I don’t think you can do any harm to me anyway.” She asserts and flicks Peridot in the ear who Peridot sniffs loudly and scowls ever so slightly.

She puts her hand out, Lapis takes it slowly.

She can feel the figures around them hold their breaths and Lapis twirls Peridot in her arms, the cans on her feet clunk on the ground noisily.

Her little arms twist above her head and Lapis moves in for a dip. But it feels familiar, the twirls, the dips. Her fingers twitch, her body stiffens and Peridot slips through her hands like water.

“Oof,” she falls on her butt, her arms flailing, “Lazuli!” She screeches.

Lapis laughs, covering her mouth and giggling to herself.

“Is everything a joke to you?”  
  
Lapis winks at her, “just funny things.” She fluffs her hair and turns to walk away, “Steven, bring someone a little taller to fuse next time, k?”  
  
She ruffles his hair again and flies up to the top the barn, Peridot complaining behind her about her limb enhancers and how they would have a war to fight later and Lapis was still acting like _that_.

Lapis tries to play it off, but her fingers tremble and she holds them close to her body.

_The Second Time_

Lapis heard of Peridot trying to fuse with Pearl, it apparently ended up as badly as they expected: a nervous gem with too much brains and not enough cohesion to stay together.

Lapis tries not to pay attention. She wasn’t here for them.

She stays on her perch on the barn and waits for the inevitable fight with Yellow Diamond to come. She had a lot of things to express to homeworld anyway, one mostly involving a good kick to the pants and a watery grave.

She is experimenting with ‘breathing,’ with ‘lungs’ when the first ships come, more sentinels, more guns and more fights to wage.

Lapis takes a deep breath.

She doesn’t alert the others, she just raises the ocean and tosses each drone aside like scrap metal, static fills her ears and it becomes a dull roar of tearing apart the blasters and joints and the war machines into bits of soggy debris.

Steven and the gems join her as the sun peeks over the edge of the horizon.

“Why didn’t you tell us dude?” Amethyst grinds her teeth at her as she extracts her whip, Lapis doesn’t respond.

“This is not what being on a team is about Lapis.” Garnet scolds in her even tone, Lapis kicks the sand absentmindedly and doesn’t look in her direction.

“Hi-yah.” Pearl takes down a sentinel with her spear and Lapis raises the waves around them.

The water pours down and Lapis doesn’t let them get any closer to Steven.

“Lazuli!” Lapis freezes and small hands are pushing her down into the sand.

They are spinning in midair, Lapis’s form wavers and she feels herself coming apart like chewed gum.

Their bodies curl around each other like river water whooshing around a bend or wind rushing to meet the mountain tops.

They merge, white and green and blue, and something settles on her shoulder tops.

But before she gives in to it completely a wrenching shiver climbs up her spine, she pulls back as hard as she can, stomping on the brakes like a heavy weight champ going in for the KO.

She tosses their gems apart with the force of a whirlwind, their bodies lobbed backward into the water and waves and sand.

“What was that?!” Lapis staggers to her feet and she stumbles towards Peridot.

Peridot wobbles to her feet, “that drone was going to blast you, I was getting you out of the way.” She explains in her usual manner.

“NO,” Lapis grinds her teeth, “What. Was. That.” She says slowly.

She menaces over her as her insides shake. She didn’t know it could feel like that, that anything could.

A hand lays over her shoulder, Lapis looks up, a pair of three eyes look down on her. Garnet was shaking her head and her glasses were pushed up and away from her face.

“It was an accident.” She holds Lapis back.

“But…” Lapis furrows her brow, “things like _don’t_ just happen.”  
  
“Sometimes they do.” She replies evenly, knowingly.

Lapis shrugs Garnet’s hand off her shoulder and grumbles to herself as she goes to help Steven pick up the scrap metal from the battlefield.

_The Third Time_

They were on the warp pad landing, the ocean lapped hungrily at the edges of the little island in the sea, all the warp pads were destroyed, it was just the crystal gems against a drill the size of their small city.

“Yellow Diamond is going to break open the cluster,” Peridot says in awe beside her. “She’ll do what we did. But she’ll force it to form.”  
  
“No, she won’t.” Steven says firmly, breaking out his shield and covering the whole area– stopping the drill in place as it attempts to get further towards the earth. “We’ll stop her. We’ll do it together.”  
  
Peridot high fives him, “and it will be great.”  
  
They smile at each other and Lapis feels a twinge of jealousy. She looks away and widens her stance.

Yellow Diamond doesn’t let up with gem powered drones and a relentless drill trying to burrow its way through Steven’s shield. He was using all his strength just to maintain it now.

The Crystal Gems had formed Alexandrite and it was just Lapis and Peridot to do their best in the wake of the waves and blasts from the lasers.

Finally, Lapis falls to her knees. “We’re losing.” She breathes out slowly as the island crumbles and the sky is black with fighters.

“No,” Peridot descends next to her, a small blaster in her hands, “we can’t lose. We live here. Steven lives here. We can’t lose.”

Lapis chuckles, “we do live here.” She says bitterly.

Peridot places a small hand on her back and pats her, Lapis takes a deep breath and remembers the last fight. The last rush of feelings and sound as she lost herself in a new form.

“We should fuse.” Lapis announces as she tries to stagger to her feet.

Peridot shakes her head, “it’s okay. We’ll be okay, we don’t need to.”  
  
Lapis shakes her head and puts her hand out, “we need to. We need to do it for him. For us.”  
  
Peridot backs up and her eyebrows knit together, “I don’t have a weapon…I don’t think I’ll be much help to you frankly.” She frowns, “you are a powerful gem on your own Lazuli.”  
  
Lapis smiles, “I know. But we can’t win like we are right now.”  
  
Peridot puts her hands down, “Yeah, but you know, last time when we came together, I felt that you were…” Peridot seems to chew on her words, “scared.”  
  
Lapis folds her arms over her chest stubbornly, “So?”

“SO, Steven says our whole goal is to not let lifeforms hurt.” Peridot frowns and Lapis raises her eyebrow.

“Last time we fused!” She yells, “I don’t want to hurt you!”

Lapis eyes go wide and she feels something inside her shake, she laughs deliriously and then wipes at her eyes.

“What?” Peridot asks in a monotone. 

 Lapis takes a deep breath to settle herself, “Let’s fuse…I want to.” She says softly. She rubs at her eyes.

“Lapis…” She breaths.

“I want to fuse Peridot.” She bites her lip, “for Steven. For this miserable planet. For me.” She puts out her hand and Peridot takes it hesitantly. “I’m not scared.” She smiles.

They dip and swing around, Lapis picks her up and twirls them around, somehow they laugh in the middle of the storm and fray.

——-

Chrysocolla blinks her eyes open, she grins and flexes her newly formed hands. She feels like laughing, fighting, taking on the entire world.

She Steven’s gaze steadily, he has stars in his eyes as she rises.

“Watch this,” she mouths and grins into the wind sheer. She swings out a whip of water and sends a surge of electricity through it.

The drill falls like a stone. The electricity overwhelms its systems and Alexandrite bites through it’s main systems.

Steven finally falls to his knees as he can rest.

Chrysocolla turns on her heels and sends tendrils of water to the fleeing enemies, surging them with electricity and opening her arms to the world. They fall.

She laughs and her voice is strong and whole.

 **“** Haha!” She jumps up and down, “ _this_ is fusion.”


	20. Stranger's on a Bus

The bus was a greyhound, neither of the girls asked where the other was going, but they gravitated towards one another like magnets. **  
**

She got on the bus in the middle of Kansas, dusty as the earth was round, and the only thing to cheer her up the picture of ‘Wheat Jesus’ in the middle of nowhere. Lapis sat by the girl.

Lapis was also sure she didn’t like the girl, however, she didn’t necessarily dislike her.

She had messy blonde hair, a sleeveless shirt and a mouthful of words that spilled out like excited jellybeans she forgot to swallow.

“Anyway, obviously Pierre had to get the flag, or else the other team would most likely taunt them and burn his crops, woo their women, and so on.”  
  
Lapis huffed, “are you really going to explain the entire season’s of Camp Pining Hearts to me?” Lapis itches her wrist and stares at Peridot with a surely look.

“We can skip season five.” She responds flatly.

“Come one,” Lapis slouches down in her seat, “give me a break.”

“Okay,” Peridot taps her fingertips together, “do you have another way to pass the time? We already played spot the creepiest person on the bus.”  
  
“And you wouldn’t accept that I chose myself.” Lapis pouts, and Peridot chuckles to herself.

“Okay, let’s play the questions game then.”  
  
“Questions game?” Lapis sits up a little taller as the bus hits a pothole.

“Yeah, we just ask each other questions one by one, and don’t have to answer, but you have to keep going.” Peridot explains as she hugs her back pack to her chest.

“Okay, like what?”  
  
“Like, uh, why do you think you’re creepy?” Peridot ventures.

Lapis leans down, “I killed a man.” She says without blinking.

Peridot snorts and tilts her head, “right.”

Lapis laughs, “running from the coppers.” She says in a western accent, “no one can get me now.”

Peridot slaps her on the back and laughs. “fine, you don’t have to answer.”

“Okay, but my turn now,” Lapis crosses her arms across her chest and thinks, “how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Lapis asks blandly.

Peridot rolls her eyes, “36, next question.”  
  
Lapis smiles, she could get used to this girl. “You’re turn.”  
  
“You’re the one that sat by me for around 24 hours now,” Peridot glances up at her and they share a look, “do you even like me?” Lapis sighs and threads her fingers through her hair.

“No.”  
  
“Okay then,” Peridot makes a face at her.

“Don’t take it personal…or do, it’s just, you know.” She tries to articulate herself, “I just didn't want to sit by anyone else.”  
  
Peridot gives a little smile, “I guess I’ll take that.”  
  
“And you’re reasonably funny.”  
  
“Don’t saying ‘looking’.”  
  
Lapis snaps at her and winks, “ya got me.”   
  
A quiet spreads between them before Lapis takes another deep breath, “what’s in the bag?” She asks curiously.

Peridot shrugs, “stuff I need.”

“An inhaler and comic books?”  
  
Peridot elbows her, “souls Lapis. Peoples virginity. A baby.”

Lapis laughs behind her hand, “will you take mine?”  
  
“Uh, which one?” Lapis just winks at her in response and she goes pale.

“I’m going to LA.” Peridot announces suddenly. “I’m hoping a tech startup will take me and….yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Are you old enough for that?” Lapis taps her on the forehead where a bandage was.

Peridot quirks a grin, “they can pay me under the table.”  
  
Lapis sighs and looks out the window, “good luck to you.”

Peridot leans over, almost getting in Lapis’s face. “And you?”  
  
“Me.” Lapis states.

“What are you…what are you after?” She asks softly, though it somehow didn’t feel like a question. Minutes pass, and neither of them speaks, Lapis just looks out the window and Peridot watches her face.

“The ocean.” Lapis says simply, finally, “I’m going to the ocean.” She glances at Peridot who was smiling.

“You’re going to swim?”  
  
“No,” Lapis says sharply, “I’m going to just go look.”  
  
Peridot sighs and tentatively reaches for her hand, Lapis closes the last gaps between them, “that sounds nice.” Twenty five hours in a small space together and Peridot squeezes her hand.

Lapis holds on for just a moment before letting go and lets them slide into more easy questions about their favorite colors and hobbies. Of course, Lapis made all of hers up.

“Impersonating Shia Labeouf while vaping on a street corner is not a hobby.” Peridot says as she presses certain buttons on her DS and talks to Lapis.

“I shout at people and inspire them to follow their dreams.” Lapis says wistfully, “by shouting at them.”  
  
Peridot cheers as she apparently beats a level, “well then, next hobby.” Peridot yawns midway through her sentence.

Lapis raises an eyebrow, “sleeping. Sleeping is a hobby… Have you even slept since you got on?”  
  
Peridot shakes her head, “nah. It’s uncomfortable.” Lapis takes her DS away, “hey!” Peridot yells.

“Go to sleep idiot.”  
  
“The sun is still up.”  
  
“Time doesn’t exist on the greyhound.” She announces and tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She flicks her in the ear, "sleep."

“Watch my stuff then will ya?” Peridot reluctantly puts her backpack down like a precious stone she didn’t want to break.  
  
Lapis nods and Peridot stretches out, her head starts bobbing up and down almost immediately, and Lapis feels something light fall onto her shoulder.

The light streams in through the windows like a warm kiss and Lapis can’t help but smile to herself. To herself and down at Peridot as her head rests on her shoulder. She wouldn’t tell.

The bus driver at the front seems to be humming. The baby in the back is finally not crying and the bus chugs along with people coming and going like ghosts.

Lapis doesn’t move as Peridot sleeps for hours, luckily not drooling on her hoodie while she mumbled to herself and leaned on Lapis.

It’s 11 pm when she wakes up again, this time her head in Lapis’s lap as she spread out on top of her in her sleep.

“Well, good morning.” Lapis smiles knowingly at her and Peridot jumps up.

“Gah, sorry.”  
  
Lapis shrugs, “we’re almost there.”  
  
————

Lapis hopped off the bus with her little belongings and stared at the towering city ringed by palm trees and lights like burning light houses. She thinks can smell the salt of the ocean very, very far away.

“Wah,” Peridot stumbles to the front of the greyhound.

Lapis turns around, “uh, is this your stop?”  
  
“My cousin’s place is around the corner.” Lapis stands in front of her as Peridot paid the man and stood on the steps of the bus. “Do you have a place to stay?”

“No.” Lapis says briefly, “I have to go.”  
  
“Well then,” Peridot stands on the bus steps and Lapis watches her eyelashes flutter.

Lapis takes a deep breath to say something else, to say anything- she doesn’t get the chance as Peridot leans down and kisses her on the cheek, 

Lips brushed against her skin like the feeling of drizzling on a calm day or when you step into a warm bath with only a far away light on.

Lapis jumps at the touch and Peridot dances down the steps.

“Don’t get lost.” Peridot says thoughtfully as she turns around. Lapis nods, and goes the other direction. “And come by if want.” Peridot slips a piece of paper with an address into Lapis’s hand. 

Lapis blinks at it, and watches Peridot wave goodbye. Lapis touches her own cheek and tries not to take back what she said about not liking her. 


	21. Negotiations

“What are you doing?” A voice like a shrill bird huffing glue calls out towards Lapis. A little figure jumps out in front of her, and she raises an eyebrow.

“Switching houses. Get out of my way.”

Lapis stood in the middle of common room, hands bawled up and staring down a short girl with a determined look on her face.

“It’s after hours. You can’t go out.” She asserted astutely.

“So?”

“So, it’s literally the first night. You can’t mess this up for us first years.”

“What are you even doing in here at this hour?” Lapis surveyed the scene, it was late and this girl just sprung up from nearby couch like a daisy. And questioned Lapis on her activities.

“Whatever. I am out of here.” Lapis tugged her knapsack higher on her shoulder and tried to pass the other girl.

“You don’t just _switch_ houses.” She intercepts Lapis smoothly.

Lapis’s face stretches into a grin, she winks, “you sure about that?”

“Yes!” The blonde bursts.

“Watch me.”

Lapis had had enough, she side stepped the annoying intruder and runs to the front door of the slytherin common room and dashes out into the breezy hallway.

“Hey!” She calls after her, “stop.”

Lapis hears footsteps clunking after her, she dashes back and forth between hallways to try to lose her, but she is very precocious.

“ _Involvent_ ,” she hears a high voice cut through the air and Lapis's feet fail beneath her as a thin string wraps tightly around her ankles, she collapses to the ground.

“Jesus.” She rolls to the floor and scrambles to tear at the tether around her ankles.

“It won’t be any use.” The girl says smugly.

“Stay back!” Lapis whips out her wand and points at her. “You’re not dragging me back.”

Peridot puts her hands and circles around her to the wall, “fine.”

“I’m serious.”

“I have no intention of being jinxed by some rogue. I believe you.”

Lapis snorts, “and I’m not coming back on my own.”

Her face scrunches into a scowl, “what’s your deal?”

Lapis shifts from side to side, “we’re in slytherin. Sly-the-rin.” She reiterates slowly.

“So? For clever people, powerful ones, though I suppose you don’t look very clever to me anyway.” Peridot rubbed her nose and Lapis blew a hair out of her face.

“Yeah, well, not clever, and also not as human as these people like.” She spits, “I hear they don’t like half-breeds in this snake pit.” Lapis wrinkled her nose and felt her stomach clench, it’s not that she disliked her house, she just didn’t want to face that kind of conflict head on. Not yet.

“Oh.” Peridot tilted her head, “well, you know,” Peridot scratched the back of her neck, “they won’t let me into the dorm rooms either if that helps.” Her voice felt heavy and too vulnerable to Lapis’s ears.

She doesn’t meet her eye and her fingers twitch, “that’s great, I don’t care.” Lapis claws at her tethers.

“So,” Peridot looks her up and down, “at the full moon then?” Lapis looks up and almost laughs with her full body. “Because they have things for that! Shack, um, stuff. No one would have to know.” Peridot finishes weakly.  
  
“You seem like you want me to stay.” Lapis finally says as she eyes her, “after tying me up that is.”

Peridot seemed to shift from side to side and grab at her elbow, “it’s not like that…we can just, prove to them. You don’t belong, neither do I,” she lights up, “so we can just be the clever ones together.”  
  
Lapis shakes her head at her, “No dice. There is no covering up these, blondie.” She feels herself regretting her next move already, she pushes aside her head to reveal little slits on her neck.

Sometimes they don’t look like anything, just like dark lines on the sides of her throat, other times…well she involuntarily flared them.

“Gills.” Peridot breathed softly, the other girl reached for her wand, “you’re a, a mermaid?”  
  
Lapis shrugs, “mostly human though. Whatever. I can’t stay somewhere where the daughter of a muggle and sea folk will probably be, you know.”  
  
Peridot gave a grin wide as tooth decay, “fish food?”  
  
Lapis makes a face, “alright, I’m ready for you to hex me off the planet. Go ahead, I’m ready.”  
  
Peridot chuckled lowly and then swished her wand, “ _liber_.”

Lapis flinched, but felt her feet freeing themselves, she blinked and then looked back up. “You’re letting me go?”  
  
Peridot shook her head, “headmaster Steven will explain it to you. Slytherin is a good house.”  
  
“I think you mean shit house from what I heard.”

“Well, keep listening, with your big fish ears and all.”  
  
Lapis rubs her ankle, “you’re why I’m leaving.” She responds tersely and Peridot’s brow wrinkles, as she shrugs anyway.

“Here, let me tell you a little story about the merits of Salazar Slytherin.”

“No.”

She starts in on a story of outsmarting a giant and they continue down the hall, damp and echoing off the walls as she wonders why they were getting so far without being caught.

“Anyway, then he spent the profits on, get this, more magic flu powder! He did the whole thing over again!”

“I don’t care.” Lapis reiterates and she could hear her mom telling her to not be a snot and wash that black nail polish off. She sets herself on piercing her ears with skull earrings that very moment.

“You should, it’s the house we’re both meant for.” She rubs elbows with Lapis and they pause in the middle of a grey entrance way, “do you even know where we’re going by the way?”

Lapis taps on her neck, “fish-lady navigation skills.”  
  
Peridot’s eyes go wide, “really?”  
  
Lapis snorts, “tch, no. I got insider knowledge.” She starts sniffing the air for roses, illusive and fragrant, she catches a wiff in the air. “You don’t have to follow.”  
  
“Steven knows my mum,” she puffs out her small chest, “we can both talk to you about the advantages of green.” She winks, “for example, we just won the quidditch tournament last year.” Lapis doesn’t even glance at her, but she can feel Peridot frowning, “unless you’re more of a water sports person.”  
  
Lapis should have growled at her, but a surprised laugh bubbles from her gut. She hides it behind her hand, “Salazar was a dower pure-bred student enthusiast with a thing for power. Don’t even with me.” She says after she composes herself.

Peridot trails after her closely as they seem to wander higher, and towards the outside wall of the castle.

“Yeah, but there is more to a whole group of people than just one thing.” Their eyes meet briefly and Lapis swallows like there’s a frog in her throat.

“The sorting hat made a mistake.” She responds simply, “Salazar would never want…half-breeds. Plus, power-hungry ingrates is overrated.”

Peridot sighs, “power. It’s not bad, it’s how you use it.”  
  
“Will you cover your wet-spot for this house already? I’m becoming a hufflepuff and that’s it- ah!” She finds a door that led outside, it smelt like roses in a garden party at a perfume factory. “It’s this way.”  
  
Peridot hummed beside her, “you won’t know the password though.” A golden woven net fixed with pink morning glories blocked their way.

”I can…” Lapis bites lip, she had to think this through.

”He’s a hard guy to know. I would know.” Peridot was dangling something in front of her.  
  
Lapis froze and moved her fingers quickly, “but… You know him?”  
  
Peridot’s face broke into a smile, “yeah.” She tapped on her forearm, “he comes to dinner at our house sometimes.”  
  
Lapis glances at her, “and? You wouldn’t know… how he kept secrets.”  
  
“Well, he keeps them poorly if that's what you mean.”  
  
Lapis clapped her hands together, “so you would know!”  
  
“For a deal.” The short girl interjects and Lapis rolls her eyes.

“You really _are_ in the right house.”  
  
“Just try it! We could be friends. We could be in the house together.” Her smile was dopey and genuine, Lapis had to shield her eyes.

“I don’t want to be friends.” She folds her arms over her chest and knows she’s just being petulant at that point.  
  
“Come one.” Peridot tugged on her sleeve, “there’s a cool barn near the lake, we could stay there.”  
  
Lapis slumps her shoulders and sighs, “three days okay? Three days and then you tell me the password to Headmaster Universe’s office. And get resorted before something gruesome happens.”

Peridot seemed to bounce up and down on the balls of her feet, “deal. Though I’m sure one of us can convince you to stay in that time.”  
  
Lapis heaves another dramatic sigh and they begin their trek across the castle grounds, using Lapis’s hearing to avoid anyone finding them as they make it outside before the sun rose.

“Why didn’t they let you in the dorm rooms anyway?” She finally asks as her soggy sneakers dip into the damp earth. The small deserted barn came into focus as they plod along with Lapis’s bag.

Peridot doesn’t look at her and fiddles with her nails, “my wand is made of human heart strings.”  
  
Lapis stops mid-stride and strikes a huge smile, “really?” She breathes.

Peridot smirked, “No.”  
  
Lapis groans and pushes on her shoulder, she laughs with in a way where her eyes smiled and hair fell back in little golden tuffs, and Lapis tries not to get attached. She was going to be a Hufflepuff after all.

Or at least, that’s what she told herself for the next three days.

Peridot never told her exactly what’s in the wand, the rumor is a curse, a ghost, something that made the Slytherin’s punish her nevertheless. Or at least, they would, if Lapis didn’t stand between them like an angry stone wall that would punch them in the face with obscenities and a hard jinx. 

She stays, she tells herself she has to.


	22. Silencer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> historical notes: after WWII Germany and it’s capital Berlin were divided into occupied zones in 1949: East and West, it was the site of quiet a bit of spy activity. The Stasi were the secret police of East Germany.
> 
> Also! Wonderful fanart for this from treker402.tumblr.com ! :D

_** ** _

 

_**1959** _

Lapis readjusted the top of her tight black dress and hopped over the high ledge, making it to a little private road that let to a house lit up with what must have been half the cities electricity.

She looks around, covering her eyes to make out any familiar faces in a throng of guests streaming towards two wide oak doors.

“Lapis!” Lapis jumps and turns around quickly, “there you are, I was getting worried.” A hand covers her upper arm and drags her off to the side, “this way.” He whispers in her ear and she follows.

“I was wondering when I’d be seeing you Mr. Gregg.” She says under her breath as they make it to a dark corner by a Mercedes Benz.

“This is no time for that Lapis,” a man with long brown hair tied into a ponytail turns on her, “you’re a half an hour late, that doesn’t give me much time with my informant.”

Lapis shrugs and looks him in the eye, “I had to lose a stasi pest on my way here. Fellow will be walking around East Berlin for days looking for me.” She says with amusement as she remembers the particular turns she made to get away.

“I don’t want to hear it,” there was a twang of strain under his tone, “we only have three hours to get what we can about Rose’s whereabouts.”  
  
Lapis looked up at the sky, twinkling distant lights smile back down and Lapis’s eyes drag back to earth, “alright, keep everyone away from you the double-agent, check, punch stasi scum in the face, check.” She says wryly.

“No, no, punching, only if we have to, I just need time alone with Pearl Sokolov, but there will be more party members there than Stalin’s funeral.” Gregg seemed to be sweating in the dim lights outside of the party.

“Hey, look, I’m the professional here. I’ll get you to the contact and keep you there, three hours with her.” Lapis puts her hand out, Gregg glances at nervously and shakes it.

“Okay, as long as no one comes looking, you stay out of sight too.” Gregg turns to leave, “come on.”  
  
“Wait,” Lapis taps on his shoulder, she takes two shot glass out of her purse and pour herself a glass out of her hip flask. “Tradition.” She offers him the whiskey.

He wrinkles his nose, “seriously?”  
  
“Need to loosen up. You’re sweating, we’re a happy couple from Eastern Poland with a lot of connections who have come to vacation, now drink.”  
  
Gregg’s eyes dart around but he takes the little glass.

“To Rose,” Gregg says lowly, the bigger man shivers as Lapis clinked her glass to his.

“Better dead than red.” Lapis responds bitterly and takes the swig of the burning fire prairie before pouring herself another.

“Let’s do this.” She finishes and takes his arm as they step back out into the light.

Lapis chauffeurs Gregg to the front of the line where she bats her lashes at the doorman, he looks at his list and Lapis points it out for him aggressively.

“[Tell them the Czajkowski’s have arrived].” She says in precise German.

They are ferried into a party of the upper echelons of East German society, Lapis rolls her eyes are the Communist party members, generals and lady socialites, it was nothing but fluff.

“There she is.” Gregg hisses into her ear, Lapis looks up.

A young woman in a tux was chatting amicably to a group of young men, some in uniform with a red star across their arm bands. She had short hair cut in a bob and pale eyes with a nervous twitch to her fingers.

Lapis sniffed, “sure you want to trust her? Double agents can always go back to their masters for a better reward.”

“Pearl? No, never.” Greggs says firmly, “Now, make a distraction, I need her on her own.”

Lapis nods and sashays her way across the room with two drinks and one of her shoulder straps lowered.

“[Oh my God]!” She gushes before nearly tripping over one of the Generals, “[you’re from Moscow, what trip it must have been this late in spring, please tell me you didn’t drive!]”

She inserted herself into the middle of the conversation and all eyes land on the supposed housewife of a Polish aristocrat.

“Actually,” the man responds in halting German back to her excited gibberish, “we flew.” He smiled at her like a opening maw of a coyote, “we wouldn’t want to miss the anniversary of of our favorite Republic.”  
  
They toasted another ten years of growth and rebuilding.

“To a Soviet Berlin,” Lapis remarked sarcastically into her drink and then toasted with the rest of them.

“[So,]” she leaned on the man with the most metals pinned to his chest, “[tell me about all of these.]” She bats at the hanging metals on his chest and says it loud enough to draw the ears of the whole room.

Pearl, the women they’re after, blinks at her as she blatantly flirts with these men, which seemed like enough, men were easy.

She gets eyes on her, until a second little woman approached.

“Hmph,” Lapis glances over, a tight, nasally voice was addressing Pearl, “I’m from the Neues Deutschland, I want to know about any comments the Soviet party has on Fidel Castro coming to power.” It was pointed at Pearl and the room chuckled at the little lady who ‘was busying herself so.’

Pearl shook her head, “we are obviously overjoyed and expect to see many in the west follow suit, the world revolution has only begun.” She says without blinking, wording sounding very practiced.

The blonde nodded back, “and what is the comment about the assist from the USSR, will they send aid and how much-”  
  
“Someone put a hand over the little women, this is a party!” The circle laughs and Lapis exhales.

“Get her away from Pearl,” Lapis freezes as Gregg interrupts her and Lapis sighs. Why were people so difficult.

“[A newspaper!]” Lapis pipes up, “[oh do I have a story for you, my cousin bought the worst floor paneling you’ve ever seen, and God at the price!]” The crowd laughs and Lapis saunters across the area to take the arm of the reporter.

“[Come here, let me tell you about who’s who here, and take a picture.]” Lapis yanks on her sleeves and hangs off of her while the men stand around amused.

“I’m working, excuse me,” she seems to try to throw Lapis off, making Lapis frown and have to rethink a strategy.

“[Oh come now, I’m sure I have an opinion or two on whatever you’re asking about.]” Lapis tries to keep her eyes on her as Gregg gestures towards Pearl.

“Like what?” Her eyes were narrowed, Lapis felt like popping them.

“[Isn’t Fidel handsome?]” She gushes and that gets a real laugh out of the general to her side and the rest of the listening crowd, the woman just groans.

“And who are you?”  
  
Lapis blinks, “[Eliza Czajkowski, you should have heard of me.]” She bops her on the nose playfully.

“I’m sure. Now,” she turns away, “where’s that senior party member?” _Pearl_ , shit. Lapis takes a deep grating breath.

“[Oh, I saw her go that way, but do you really want to bother the dear? She’s in a suit and heels, who knows what she was thinking this morning.]” Lapis tried to play to her listeners, but she was losing the reporter.

“I don’t care, I have to go.”  
  
Lapis latches on to her, “[this way, come now, I saw where they were going.]” She leads her off to the side and to a door on the opposite wall.

“I’m the host’s niece you don’t have to show me the way,” there was a twinge of ice to the girl’s words and Lapis looked her in the eye with a half smirk.

“Reporter huh?” She drops the simpering to her words and eyed the woman quietly, her green eyes go wide and she breaks into a huge, manic smile. They slip into a study room.

“A lady like you.” The reporter wrestles to the side and goes to lean on the desk, she loosens her bowtie as she goes. “Which part of the states are you from? East coast somewhere I would guess.” The woman broke into an accented English and Lapis huffs a sigh.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” this time also in English, for irony. She folds her arms over her chest, “I’m just a Polish house wife at an anniversary party with an intrepid German reporter…whose notes read like a book manuscript.” Lapis glances down at the women’s notepad, “what can I call you?”  
  
The woman shakes her head with a smirk, “I’ve heard of you. Lapis, like the gem.”  
  
Lapis blinks, “yes, you have my code name, so clever, I’m sure you graduated top of your commie class.”

She reaches into her jacket, flashing Lapis a gun as she takes out a cigarette.

“Peridot. You can call me that if everything is going to be fair.”

Lapis scoffs, “fair. That is definitely the business we are in.”  
  
Peridot was shaking her head, Lapis was reading the titles of the books on the shelves of the study. Goethe came up at least 15 times, someone had a hobby.

“I suppose you won’t let me out of here?” Peridot asks slowly and puffs in the cigarette smoke.

Lapis reaches into her own purse and gets a flask, “drink?” She gives a devilish smile and offers her some whiskey. Peridot shakes her head, “that’s what I thought.” Lapis said and tilts her head, “it's nothing personal. We’ll just spend a nice couple hours in here and we’ll all be on our way.”

Peridot snorts, “if you think you can keep me in here…”  
  
Lapis winks at her, “what are you, 5’1? I don’t think we’re going anywhere.” Just enough time for my man to finish talking.

“And then what?”  
  
Lapis shrugs, “the aftermath is up to you.” Her eyes flash and she can see Peridot frowning as she chews on that. Lapis flashes her her own gun out from under her skirt.

They eye each other and circle the desk, Lapis had the door, but she knew this Peridot wouldn’t be above climbing out the window.

“So,” Lapis says slowly, “how come you’re lying to party members? Aren’t you all on the same side?”

Peridot juts her chin out and narrows her eyes, “there is good reasons to have suspicions.”

Lapis nods, “always is.”  
  
They sit down and Lapis places out a game of chess that was left half finished on the center table.

They play silently for what felt like an hour, moving in loose circles around each other, Queen to bishop to the castle.

“Check mate,” Lapis mutters but Peridot wasn’t paying attention, she starts stnading up and facing Lapis head on, Lapis gets back up too.

“How much?” Peridot finally asks as they circle each other.

“For what?” Lapis picked at her nails and didn’t look at the other spy.

“Let me walk. I won’t tell, you won’t tell, we’ll get both our jobs done.”  
  
Lapis shakes her head, “unfortunately for you, your job is most likely to stop my job.” She leans out across the table and blows a kiss.

“Come now,” she readjusted her collar, “everyone should have a price.”  
  
A slow smile crosses Lapis’s face, “a kiss.” She tapped at her mouth, “For your freedom.”  
  
Peridot bloomed into a pretty crimson red and Lapis snickers, that always got them, especially the ladies.

Peridot sputtered and then grimaced, “I always heard yankee women were promiscuous.”  
  
Lapis laughs harder, “and you, so eager to get away from me!” Peridot was circling the table again and Lapis was following, “and New Jersey, if you didn’t guess, that’s where I am from.”

Peridot shook her head, “figured.”  
  
“You,” Lapis looked her up and down, “you’re from here.”

Peridot dipped her head and took another puff of her cigarette, “the little spy that could.”  
  
Lapis raised her eyebrows, “lonely kid with no friends finds an outlet in gadgets and sneaking around, gets ignored by the Nazi’s but picked up by the Red’s for her skills.” Lapis looked her up and down, “obnoxious, self-obsessed and has mommy issues.” Lapis analyzed her, stretching her leg as she leaned on the desk.

Peridot coughed a laugh, “You are terrible. Family-less, spent too much time in someone’s prison, sullen, bitter,” Peridot looked her up and down, “and would actually really like that kissed.”

Lapis snorted and cracked her neck, “you got my number little darlin.”  
  
“Too bad for me you’re just wasting my time.” She put out her cigarette in a little tray and Lapis steps closer to the door as Peridot’s eyes flick towards it.

She moves quick, one fluid motion, Lapis was choking on her own tongue before she knew it, Peridot kicked her feet out from under her and pinned her against the wall. Her throat constructed under her forearm.

Lapis struck out and yanked at her hair and growled into her face. “Think you can threaten me…”

Peridot breathed on her cheek and their eyes make lasers at each other.

Peridot dug her nails into Lapis’s shoulders, Lapis flinched as she leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

“Pussy.” Lapis hissed and pressed a searing kiss directly on to her mouth.

Peridot bruises her by shaking her and repressing her to the near by bookshelf, the wood digs into her back but Lapis’s thoughts is otherwise occupied.

A pair of lips like burning red and the string of curses buried under her tongue. She presses her little hand down Lapis’s shirt and her tongue pries it’s way into her mouth.

She opens her up and Lapis kisses her back fiercely, nipping at her bottom lip and clawing at her nice black jacket.

“Is that payment enough?” Peridot whispers into her ear, Lapis’s eyes cut into her.

“Not even close.” She gets her footing back, kicks Peridot’s knees from behind and rolls her to the floor.

She unbuttons her shirt as she feels her up and kisses her black and blue on the floor. Peridot tears her dress down and kisses her chest until Lapis is trembling.

“Where is that little lady in the black dress?” That was the general from before, asking questions outside their door. “Her dumpy husband is looking for her.”

Lapis shoots bolt upright and pulled her dress back up, “that’s my cue.” Lapis eyes her, “care to join me?”

Peridot’s eyes flatten like saucers, “you can’t.”  
  
“Oh I can,” Lapis kissed her on the cheek again and pet her exposed collarbone. “I don’t like people running around that know my secrets.” She pressed down and Peridot squirmed.

“People will look for me.” Peridot says with gasping glances at the windows.  
  
“Do you have a price?”  
  
“Oh, I don’t bargain with the Rotting West.” She spit and Lapis hauled her up by the arm.

“Ah!” She screamed with a German slant, “[you have to meet my husband, he is a real newsmaker.]”

She hauls her to the door and Peridot is stiff in her arms as she clicked her little gun to her side. Lapis personally rebuttons her shirt and they saunter back into public.

Peridot shuffles and grumbles, “you don’t even know what who I’m part of.”

Lapis nudges her to the right, “[Dawid!]” She coos, “[you must meet Miss Ania…]”  
  
They make it to the door, “who is that?” Gregg hisses in her ear as they make their leave.

“She knows too much. We can fix that. Just for tonight, don’t worry, my branch will take care of it by tomorrow.”

Gregg hummed and looked Peridot up and down, “put her in the bathroom of for tonight then.”

“Did you find out what you needed?” Lapis asks quietly, Gregg frowned deeply back and didn’t meet her eye.

“Not in front of her.”

They sneak out back into the chilly night, away from the chatter of the East German anniversary. Lapis’s nose was scrunched and she hauled a spy home with her.

“You won’t get away with this.” Peridot said with hands behind her head, Lapis leans down and kissed her on the cheek.

“Don’t worry.” She croons, “you’re my prisoner now.”

“Damn yank.” Peridot cursed through clenched teeth.

“Keep walking commie.”

She digs the gun deeper into her shoulder blades and follows Gregg Universe to the hotel, she ties Peridot to her radiator in her own room and whispers to her not watch as she takes her clothes off one by one. Peridot doesn’t even blink as she watches her change.

She kisses her goodnight ironically and the game is on, East Germany was the powder keg of blockades and rising tensions. Lapis wasn’t going to be the one to light it, Peridot is locked up good and tight.

She let’s Peridot sleep in the chair in the corner, she never stops glaring at her and Lapis makes a promise to work at the best deal she could with this chance encounter.

“Put on the silencer when you shoot me.” She says in the dark and Lapis shakes her head.

“We aren’t _you_.” Lapis retorts indignantly and Peridot doesn’t reply.

“You think so little of us?" Peridot finally says and Lapis winks at her and puts out the final light in the room.

It was a notable night, Lapis doesn't shoot her in the morning of course, instead she helps her smoke a cigarette and Lapis tries to think of a way to get out of this.


	23. Hey Beautiful

_Attempt 1_

Peridot flipped through the ‘how to book’ with intense fervor, she’d read it several times now, but she had to be prepared. It’s frayed pages bite at her fingertips and she takes a deep breath in.

She knocks on the barn door. The old wood rattles with age, a fleck of red paint comes loose and falls to the muted earth.

She knocks again.

“What?” A bright blue hand reaches out and opens the door, “can’t you let yourself in?” Lapis stood in the doorway looking bemused.

Peridot swallowed dryly, “hey beautiful.” She leaned on the doorway, glanced down at the open book page and grinned. Lapis’s eyes went wide. “You are looking like an earth butterfly covered in water dew. In flight. Aesthetically pleasing.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You are attractive!” The door bangs closed on Peridot’s nose. She clutches at her face and stumbles backwards.

“Hey!” She barks and turns back to the book to consult what she had done wrong.

_Attempt 2_

“Log date 9.2.16.” Peridot cleared her throat to speak into the recorder, “I’m going to try another approach.”  
  
Peridot surveyed the barn before creeping down and out towards the hill, the long grass tickles her ankles as she spots Lapis laying on her back in the sun. The swoosh of a lazy breeze musses Lapis’s hair up and the blue gem sighs easily.

“Hey,” Peridot says gently, Lapis sits up and blinks at her, eyes as open as Funland that day a storm blew the ticket booth down.

“Hey.” She scratched her neck, “sorry about your nose.” Peridot shrugs and drops a large ocean-beaten grey rock on her lap, Lapis tosses her arms in the air, and stares at it. “What’s this?”

Peridot winks and flashes a large grin, “because you _rock_.”

Lapis’s mouth hangs open and she hits her forehead with her palm.

“I enjoy your many layers! Of sediment. And texture.” Peridot tries to explain and think of another rock paronomasia.

“Um,” Lapis looks around and seems to struggle with her bottom lip as she chews on it.

“You are rem-rock-able!” Peridot crows and waits for Lapis to swoon. Lapis turns over onto her front, flat on the hill and groaning into the dirt. She buried her face in the grass and Peridot stands over her.

“Lapis?” Peridot ventures towards a an immobile gem, Lapis shakes her head.

Peridot sighs into her rock and goes to consult her book again. 

_Attempt 3_

Lapis was in the truck, situated in front of season 2 of CPH and Peridot was poised on the ground, considering her back and humming.

“Lapis!” She calls loudly, “I have a meep morp to show you!”

She waits a minute or so to hear a response, but the _tik-tik_ of someone on a metal floor reverberates. A woosh of water indicates Lapis lowering herself to the ground.

“Yeah?” She asks as she picks at a spot on her hand and Peridot twists around dramatically.

“Ta-da!” She holds up her rectangle. “Look.”

Lapis blinks a couple times and raises an eyebrow at her reflection, “it’s a mirror….” 

“Because _you_ are a work of meep-morp!”

Lapis lets out a choking nose and her face scrunches together.

“Because you are nice to look at and sometimes makes me sad, but in a good way. And I spend a lot of time on you.” She explains hotly.

“What, what are you doing?” Lapis finally asks.

“Compliments!” Peridot crows and tries to emphasize that Lapis was her meep-morp. “The staple of any healthy relationship.” She points to her ‘how-to’ book.  
  
Lapis turns her back on her and Peridot watches as her shoulders hunch over.

“Stop it.”  
  
Peridot deflates and pushes the mirror to the ground, “supernova’s, I should have known…no mirrors! Ugh, Lazuli, I’m sorry, please, I just think you’re really great.”  
  
Lapis’s face was in her hands now, “Peridot, I can’t.”  
  
“Do you want, uh, another cool rock?” Peridot asks tentatively as she racks her brain for something.  
  
Lapis turns around slowly, her face was a bright blue canvas of glowing skin. A flush of embarrassment creeping across her nose and ears tips a wash of color. “Why?”  
  
“I told you,” Peridot holds her book up and shakes it, “‘Relationships for Dummies.’”

Lapis shakes her head and her arms wind around her body, Peridot blinks, “something wrong?”  
  
Lapis squeaks, “my last relationship wasn’t exactly…like this.”

Something clicks in Peridot’s head and she hangs her head, “I can stop.” 

“No.” Lapis scratched her nose and stopped Peridot from leaving, “I…I didn’t say it was terrible.”

Peridot jumps and turns around with springs in her heels. “Okay!”  
  
Lapis shuffled over and leaned down, her lips puckered and eyes fluttering closed.

“Wait.” Peridot stops her as an idea flits through Peridot’s head.

Lapis leans back and stands up straight again. “What?”  
  
“You try it first! It’s fun, I swear.” Peridot says, grabbing onto Lapis’s hands and squeezing, “also you _did_ shut a door in my face.”

“I was embarrassed.” Lapis explains as she puffs out her cheeks. “Since you’re a huge dork.”  
  
“Okay…that’s one way to start.”

Lapis’s mouth gapes open and then closed like a confused fish. “How do you…” She clears her throat, “I mean, you’re…not the worst.” Peridot kisses Lapis on the hand.

“You have, a voice that doesn’t always make me want to stuff earth cats in my ears.” Peridot kisses her forearm.

Lapis was as flushed as a summer sky at that point, “you have, a lot of energy. And nice cuticles.” Peridot gets on her tiptoes and kisses her on the shoulder.

“You make me laugh. Even with, the whole,” she makes a disjointed gesture, “thing.”  
  
Peridot giggles and strains to kiss Lapis on the neck, Lapis laughs too as it seems to tickle her throat.

“You are-”  
  
“Wait,” Peridot scrambles and dives for a stool to drag it over quickly, “okay, go.”  
  
Lapis winks with a certain quirk to her lips. “You rock.”

Peridot shakes her head, “plagiarism.”  
  
The edges of Lapis’s eyes crinkle as she grins, she grabs Peridot’s hands as Peridot teeters on the stool. “You are an ex-kindergarten technician who told her diamond to eat clods.” Peridot shyly glances up, “and I love it.”  
  
Peridot kisses her on the jawline and Lapis beams.

“Yeah?”

“You’re pretty cute!”

Peridot kisses her on the mouth and Lapis exhales into it. A kiss like the hum of an engine, warm and purring under the touch, a rush of solar system going by at hyper speed.

Peridot parts and snickers into Lapis’s chest, “I can’t believe you think I’m cute.”

Lapis furrows her brow and thwapps Peridot, she puts Peridot in a headlock, “don’t push it.”

“Just saying.”

Lapis shakes her head and tells her that Percy and Pierre were about to do the sack race and she should come watch with her.

Peridot decides to start a new log date, to collect future compliments in alphabetical order- after all, they never ceased to make Lapis blush.


	24. Covers up Sweetheart

The cold steel of the truck bit against Lapis’s skin, contrasting the lulling yellow warmth of the morning sun creeping up the edge of the barn.

A long list fluttered in the breeze above her head, stapled to the barn front. It had several things scribbled and crossed off on it: ~~fireflies~~ , ~~meep morps~~ , ~~music~~ , ~~eating~~ , sleeping.

They were on sleeping, and Peridot was standing over her, watching, observing.

“I’ve slept before you know.” Lapis says in an irritated voice when she realizes she really wasn’t going to fall asleep now anyway.

“We’re not doing number five, we’re skipping ahead. Here hold this.” Peridot dumps a large fluffy white comforter on top Lapis’s head and then jumps back down on to the ground.

“What are we doing then?” She calls down as Peridot scampers back and forth and grunts down below.

“Number twenty-eight! Wait for me.” She responds and Lapis grabs at the list to fully read it.

She starts mumbling under her breath all the ‘earth things’ down the line: “driving, ~~saving the world~~ , puking, going to disneyland, puking _at_ disneyland, and uh- what’s this one?”

“Watching the entirety of Lord of the Rings and the Hobit movies!” She yells back and Lapis just scrunches her face up in confusion.

“Is that what we’re doing now?”

“No!”

Lapis hears mild cursing having to do with black holes sucking up an entire solar system, and then something is hovering above Lapis’s head.

She blinks and tilts her head, “Um.” A collection of pillows, comforters and several of Steven’s shirts fall down on her head.

The barn creaks as the truck is strained under a new ton of material. Lapis fumbles under a new cloth store full of material on her head. “Ack!” She hacks as a pink feathered cover blanket enters her mouth.

She chokes and tosses all of the material around in a mini-tantrum. “Peridot!” She struggles free and holds up an angry fist.

“Yes?” Peridot stands on the front of the truck with a smug glitter-eating grin on her face, Lapis considers tossing her into the ocean.

“What is this?”

“Number twenty eight!” She hops down into their new nest of blankets and pillows lifted up on a hovering metal slate that fell to the ground after her.

“Gee,” Lapis spits out a piece of pink fluff, “this makes me see the wonders of earth alright…” She crosses her arms across her chest, but Peridot hops down into the mess.

“Come on! We’ll do it together, it will be great.” Peridot starts pulling on her and Lapis curses herself that she didn’t read the list faster.

“Okay.” She sighs, “what’s this?”

Peridot wraps her little arms around Lapis’s waist and launches them down onto the pile. “Cuddling.”

Lapis snort-laughs while Peridot tosses over a sheer white sheet over their heads. The cotton submerges them in a white-bright world of filtered frail yellow sun and muffled noise of the birds and breeze outside.

Peridot makes a few strangled noises and Lapis can feel her wrap herself around Lapis’s back. 

Lapis laughs again, and Peridot digs her fingers into Lapis’s sides and her knee hits the back of Lapis’s thigh.

“What are you doing?” She says without hiding the coaxed-out smile on her lips.

“Being the big spoon!” Peridot says proudly and demonstrates her plan to ‘spoon.’ “It is all the rage amongst humans who live together.”

Lapis rolls over and bops their noises together, Peridot frowns at Lapis’s movements, “I don’t think you’re doing it right.”

Peridot rubs at her nose, “Wrap self around ‘other,’ check.”  
  
Lapis pushes Peridot over and tucks Peridot’s pokey hair below her chin. She bends them softly into one another, Peridot guides Lapis’s hands around her small middle and her back presses against Lapis’s chest.

The sheet flaps around them in the slight tug of the wind, they sigh like a little murmur of contentment that involuntarily pulses through the two of them.

“See? You weren’t doing it right,” Lapis declares as Peridot relaxes against her and tries to shimmy closer to the bigger gem. “Humans make everything they do pointless, but…” She holds her words between her teeth and breaths into Peridot’s bushy hair, slightly scented of paint and dust and copper pennies,

“But?” Peridot coaxes her on as Lapis moves to accommodate Peridot’s little legs that tangle in hers.

Lapis looks away and frowns into the light. “Fun. You know, and feeling good.”  
  
Peridot makes a little cackling noise of delight and she lets Lapis hold her close and quietly, “I know.”

Their bodies move together as they ‘cuddle’ under the canopy of light material, Lapis holds Peridot’s waist and their words and shine mingle together.

Lapis’s eyes start to flutter shut, the world is cottoney and warm with the mix of gem against gem and the hum of the waking world distant from them.

Peridot eventually stops squirming and Lapis falls into a drowsy stupor, they cross off number five and number twenty eight from the list.


	25. Miss Stewardess!

_Five Hours Thirty Minutes_

Lapis could feel her feet aching already like the devil wanted her jump back into the ocean to become sea foam and not marry the human prince (which would be okay with Lapis anyway).

She didn’t know why she let Jamie talk her into wearing heels for that particular flight: ‘you look cute!’ He said, ‘Don’t you want to look cute for her?’

“No.” She grit through her teeth and started to get more blankets and colorless flat pillows out of the overhead.

She walks the pillows out to the family in seats 59 A to B. The mother bowed her head politely and Lapis smiles as large as she can.

“Welcome to the America! We are in LA and will be in New York in five hours thirty minutes.” She informs them, they didn’t seem to understand her, but they smile right back very widely.

Lapis reminds herself to check in with them regularly, a sweet family on vacation it seemed.

She walks up and down the aisle, balancing on her heels and checking each row carefully: seats and tray tables up.

The Delta flight to JFK was taken in a type of a twilight zone: honeyed lights at half-bright, bowed heads, soft whispers of a barely half full seats, smelling of sterilizer and the warmth of human bodies. A dark sunset outside the bubble of busy life that surrounded them.

“Stewardess!” Lapis stiffened up and bit the inside of her cheek.

She takes a deep breath in through her nose and turns on her heel to the first class section.

She blinks and Peridot gives her a sneaking grin, “could I have another pillow ma'am?” She says innocently with her eyelashes batting.

Lapis rolls her eyes and tosses her the loaf of pillow that would be the saltine if it was a food, “you’re loving this.” She says stiffly to her girlfriend.

Peridot giggles and rearranges herself, “I finally get to see you at work…Nice shoes by the way, miss stewardess.”

Lapis scuffs her heels on the carpet and shrugs, she suppresses a blush, “it’s nothing. Besides, don’t get used to it.” Lapis looks around and then slips into the seat next to her girlfriend, elbowing her cheekily, “in three months I get my pilot’s license.”

Peridot grins at her and leans forward, “yes you do.” Peridot went in for the kiss, but Lapis dodges and pats her head.

“Gotta go ready for take off. Apparently, the airport told some of the passengers the wrong time, but we’re taking off without them anyway.”

Peridot snorts, “you guys are dicks.”

Lapis nods and readjusts her skirt, “you bet.”

Peridot looked like she had something else to say, but Lapis was already getting up to finish looking to see if seats were up and goes to her little seat at the front.

Pearl nods at her along the way, as well as Jamie finishes his voice warm ups for the usual safety procedures of the flight.

“La, la, put you heads between your knees, la, put your air mask on before assisting others,” he warbles and feels his throat.

Lapis sighs, her coworkers were always a bit strange. A perfectionist war veteran, Pearl, and a theater wannabe who was waiting for his big break, and informing everyone of his future big break.

Pearl straightens Lapis’s collar as she walks by and they get their seats prepare for takeoff.

Lapis would like to say she still got the woosh in her stomach from the takeoff, her arm hairs standing on end and her brain buzzing like a double shot of espresso. But now, a year and half as a stewardess and it was just a lax stroll down a childhood neighborhood.

The plane rattles, they are suctioned into the sky as they bend against gravity, Lapis closes her eyes and imagines herself at the wheel. Only 5% of all pilots were women. She could change that.

Lapis waits for the plane the level off and nods at Pearl and Jamie, who was repeating Shakespeare phrases nervously under his breath as he always did.

Lapis snorts and punches him in the shoulder, “come on, I think the guy in 10A needs a doggy bag and a sparkling water.

Jamie nods and gets back up, his face gaining its color back, “do you think he’s single?”  
  
Lapis boops him on the nose, “don’t even think about. That last business person you hit on was drama enough. We’re still sending Garnet Anderson apology letters.”

He swallows dryly, “that was a misunderstanding…And she was really cool about it!”

“Don’t I know it.”

Lapis walks the aisles and scowls at the frat boys who watch her pass with too much interest. She’s polite, of course she is, that was the job, but she doesn’t ask if they want extra blankets.

“Stewardess!” Lapis pauses again and then heads to the front of the thin Delta flight.

“Yes, passenger?” Lapis asks coolly and Peridot leans back.

“Could you fluff my pillow?”  
  
Lapis knew this was gonna happen, “What, before or after the foot rub and joining the mile high club?”  
  
Peridot’s eyes light up and she bounces up and down, “could we-”  
  
“No. That was a joke.” Lapis leans down and fluffs her girlfriends pillow anyway, “what’s up?”  
  
Peridot shrugs, “I can’t sleep. Too wired.”  
  
Lapis points outside, “you’re on a red eye. Count the stars.”  
  
Peridot shakes her head, “I’d rather be up.” She gives her her tell-tale ear to ear goofy grin, “with you.”  
  
Lapis blushes and fluffs her pillow a little more, “you’re too honest…” She mutters under her breath, “And I’ll be busy, busy. Even on a half-full plane.”

“Busy, busy, that’s cute, un-Lapis like, say it again.” Peridot leaned forward and pushed her hoody-covered chest out towards her.

Lapis coughs, “passenger, are you flirting with me?“ She winks, "I said- busy-busy.”

Peridot laughed and Lapis slips away, going to prepare the soda-snacks-coffee cart. She sneaks one of the tasteless too-sweet cookies into her mouth and munches out of habit.

Pearl sternly watches her, but she shrugs and distracts Pearl, “So,” Lapis munches, “was piloting in ‘nam anything like this?”  
  
It was a random venture, but the older women’s favorite topic, she claps her hands together and Lapis gets another cookie, “well, no. No jungle air conditioning is available and all runs were...a little more exciting."

"Tell me about," she leans toward her casually, Pearl taps her chin. She was forgetting about the cookie.

"Well, cargo runs you'd think we'd be the least exciting, but that's the trip that Rose’s plane was already running out of fuel, the Cambodian pass was out-gunned and covered by the Khmer rouge a real, excuse my language, group of son of bitches, let me tell you-”

Lapis cackles and Jamie comes back to tell them the young business man in 10A told him to call him Soup.

“What?” Lapis interrupts Pearl and blinks at Jamie.

“He said his name is Dejour. So…he said I should call him Soup.”  
  
Lapis laughs heartily and Jamie holds his hand over his heart, “I’m in love.”

“Oh my God.” Lapis proceeds to groan.  
  
Lapis was about to chat about ‘nam, the Khmer rouge and Jamie’s latest heart aneurysm when a voice calls to her.

“Stewardess!” Peridot waved at them in the front of the plane.

Pearl blinks back and forth between them, “that one wants you.”  
  
Jamie hums, “do you know her?” Jamie looked around and then poked teasingly, “isn’t your girlfriend on this flight?”

Lapis crosses her hands across her chest, “no!” She turns around, “but also, you are not allowed to hit on her.”  
  
Lapis stalks stiff-backed over to her, “what?” She hisses.

“I can’t sleep,” Peridot pouts again, “can I have some coffee…or maybe a certain pretty girl in Delta uniform.”  
  
Lapis sighs and pokes her in the chest, “your stewardess is still jet-lagged from Australia…and she can’t give preferential treatment.”  
  
Peridot shakes her head, “it was my understanding that flight policy was a smooch for every turbulence en route.”  
  
Lapis snorts and pats her wild hair, “you wish.”  
  
Lapis goes back to the cart and knocks back a coffee and bland cookie. Pearl was telling Jamie about taking down ten soldiers in a whirl of her youth.

Lapis was snickering and started down the aisle. “Coffee? Orange juice? Soda?” She whispers to the sleeping passengers, drooling on the shoulders and nodding off into their chests.

Books were out and it was a quiet flight, dim and pitter-pattering with interspersed coughing and downcast gazes.

Someone hands her a puke bag over and Lapis grimaces and considers changing careers, maybe to kangaroo boxer or clown- something less ridiculous.

“Stewardess!” Lapis clenches her fists and finishes her rounds.

The hours slowly tick back, honey thick and filled with drowsy hours and a crying baby that Lapis was harassed about.

“All I’m saying, is maybe that mother and child should be escorted off the plane.” One of the older men with a gruff tinder informs her.

“Sir.” Lapis says calmly, “we are 39,000 thousand feet above the ground. No one is being escorted off.”  
  
“She was breastfeeding in public!” He says over a biography of Napoleonic strategy bibliography.   
  
She nods with a crackling smile, “as we do.”  
  
“And he's still crying. Will you go talk to her at the very least,” he squints at her name tag, “Latus.”

Lapis nods and assures him she will go talk to the mother and tell her to ‘control herself.’ Lapis goes over and slips the mother another package of nuts.

It was an hour until the flights landing, and the tiredness was edging into Lapis’s vision, she was ready to be home and curl up with her cat and perhaps a little girlfriend wrapped around her waist.

“Stewardess!” Lapis groans, speaking of her.

“Peridot,” she scolds her as she comes over to her, “I’m working.”  
  
“You’re chatting with that Pearl women about the best way to kill a man.”  
  
“That’s for work.” Lapis retorts and Peridot smiles wearily up at her. Lapis sighs and looks around and sneaks in a face-stroke, “you haven’t slept at all.”  
  
Peridot finally looks down and fiddles with her hands, “I just.. I didn’t want to worry you.”  
  
“Huh?” Lapis sits down next to her and keeps her eyes on her gf.

“They didn’t like our product is all.” Peridot sighs in a small hiccup of noise, “the robonoid is shelved.” She said sadly as her invention was rejected again.

“Oh Peridot… These things can take time.”

Peridot looks out the window with forlorn, “counting stars isn’t working.”

Lapis saddles up to her, forgetting the other passengers and co-workers, she gathers Peridot to her chest and rests her head on her shoulder.

“Count them for me.” She asks slowly and Peridot looks outside.

“One,” Lapis kisses her across the nape of her neck.

Peridot jumps sharply, “what was that?”  
  
“A kiss. For every star in the sky- that’s what,” she starts mumbling and blushing furiously. “You are.”  
  
“Did you just call me your sky?”  
  
“No!” Lapis defends but she was holding her closer and her face was on fire. “Maybe.”

“…Two, three,” Lapis kisses her cheekily across the nose and cheek, and Peridot keeps looking outside. “Four, five, six…”  
  
They get through the slice of sky available to them and Peridot falls asleep on her with a slight head nod and little pecks covering her face.

"I’m sorry to hear about the trip,” Lapis kisses her again warmly on the sternum, “or the flight.” Peridot mumbles something back to her, and they prepare for landing.

Lapis goes to stand up and Peridot catches her on the side of the mouth.

“Love you,” she says sleepily, and Lapis has to count the outside stars to catch her heart from fluttering away.


End file.
